How would being raised by a homosexual couple be bad for an adopted child?

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on_the_hill said:
Why do you think floster children are the same as convicted murderers? They’re innocents but you’re classifying them with evildoers.

The Church’s stance is not realistic or practical, which is unusual. The Church usually does a good job of handling social problems, but in this case misses the mark.
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Probably part of the problem is what you say about people not taking children.

At the same time, if you state that the Church usually does a good job, could it probably be that it has done deeper analysis than yours. If you are a Catholic you cant follow your own way, because your way is probably wrong. The church might have very good reasons for not accepting something. If you are a Catholic then you abide with the Church.

One reason I would say is that if the family is the basis of society then there is a deeper problem when the world wants to change that. This comes with the problem of changing marriage. This is not an isolated problem, is a problem of losing “principles”. The principles of what constitutes the natural way (Gods way).
 
I absolutely 100% agree that a family should be a mom and a dad.

I absolutely 100% recognize that the ideal can’t always be reached. There are divorces/annulments, deaths, and all sorts of other obstacles, and some families are single parent.

However, we also have children who age out of the system without having had a permanent home.

What the Church is doing is insisting on an arrangement that society is not and has not provided. Something needs to change and I don’t see either side making any progress.
 
estesbob said:
We have now entered the twilight zone …
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You say that as if it’s a bad thing. Don’t you like classic American TV shows from the Golden Age of American Television? Are you saying you prefer unAmerican TV shows?
 
on_the_hill said:
I absolutely 100% agree that a family should be a mom and a dad.

I absolutely 100% recognize that the ideal can’t always be reached. There are divorces/annulments, deaths, and all sorts of other obstacles, and some families are single parent.

However, we also have children who age out of the system without having had a permanent home.

What the Church is doing is insisting on an arrangement that society is not and has not provided. Something needs to change and I don’t see either side making any progress.
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What the Church is insisting on is children not being placed with dysfunctional, disordered couples. If the foster/adoption system needs to be changed then it should be changed. However the fact many perceive problems with it does not justify placing children with homosexual couples.
 
The system has been insufficient for decades and shows no signs of getting better. What else do we do? I’m open to ideas. I don’t think a foster child should used as an opportunity for an SSA couple to play house, so there have to be concrete, actionable alternatives that are in the here and now.
 
Yes! Traditional parents are the best option but these kids aren’t getting that. A lot does have to do with problems with the system, but a lot also has to do with an unwillingness of enough traditional families to open their homes. Many couples are only adopting infants from overseas or private adoptions stateside, and then only as a last resort because fertility treatments haven’t worked. Yes, those kids are worthy of homes too, but more children would find homes if adoption wasn’t at the bottom of the list. More homes are needed so they have to come from somewhere.
 
The problem we are stating is that the Church cannot accept an homosexual “family” because it is not a family. A family consist of a marriage a male and a female and their “offspring”, If one is not present (because it is not alive anymore for example) it is always understood that a marriage (in a family) consists of a man and a woman, nonetheless. In homosexual unions (acting ones) that’s never the case, so it will always be a dysfunctional system. A blind man cannot lead a blind man for example. We understand that good intentions are not enough to do good, but that goes both ways.

It is unfortunate of course, but we cannot take the easy way, for we can be getting into greater problems. And when you start taking the easy way there is no changing it (back to the correct way), or maybe you can, but it will be much harder, for it already became a way.

Also, the problem will always be there, for there will always be unconscious people in the world (meaning people that can’t take care of their children because they are not meant to have them (because of their lack of responsibility). Therefore, “taking the easy way” instead of solving them the right way, will “only salvage” (to a degree for it was not the best solution) the more present one (the problem we have right now) but it will create one probably larger afterwards (in this case).
 
Ph0enix said:
ANYONE should be able to adopt if they are loving

science proves there is no difference

qz.com/438469/the-science-is-clear-children-raised-by-same-sex-parents-are-at-no-disadvantage/
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We are in the same position with gay couples raising kids that we were in when no-fault divorce started and folks wondered about the affects of kids being raised by single mothers. Biased studies with very little data giving the answer the sponsors wanted.

It took the rise of single mother-hood and the accumulation of a lot of real world data to establish that it was bad for kids to be raised by single-mothers. Breaking it down further, statistically the preferred situations in descending order for kids is:
  1. Intact family with mother and father
  2. Shared custody by mother/father not living together
  3. Single father
  4. Single mother
Kids raised by single mothers (let’s assume fathers as well, although there isn’t as much data) have higher incidents of sexual, physical, emotional abuse; are more likely to be both victims and perpetrators of crime, are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol-- even correcting for social and economic factors. Yeah- its statistics and folks beat the odds, my father was the finest man I’ve ever known, raised by a single mother during the depression in a major metropolitan inner city.

I expect we’ll see the same type of thing for kids raised by homosexual couples as well. They will be lacking a role model for a loving male/female relationship and male-female interaction. Two men raising a kid are two men raising a kid. They aren’t one male and one pretending to be, or modeling being a female.

What will be hard will be teasing out the difference between an adopted kid and a child from a surrogate. Interesting stuff with how a person is affected when realizing they were a commodity to at least one of their biological parents. A product to be bought or sold vice a human being eliciting any emotional attachment to those parents. A few sites dedicated to those folks telling their stories and feelings about how they came to be. Again, selection bias, are the folks unhappy and having problems dealing with it most likely to share their stories.

I’m a single dad-- not having a mother in the house is bad when you’re raising teen-age girls. Even when their mom is visiting them regularly (she only moved a couple of miles away) its not the same. I certainly wouldn’t advocate putting a kid in that situation intentionally.
 
Ph0enix said:
ANYONE should be able to adopt if they are loving

science proves there is no difference

qz.com/438469/the-science-is-clear-children-raised-by-same-sex-parents-are-at-no-disadvantage/
Click to expand...
Hi,
This is where in my opinion you are wrong. Your first analysis is to say what is love, then who shows love and acts love truly? Iam stating this because you state in your religion you are a catholic.

Through the scripture you see that God is love, then who is in God, the ones that do His way. His way is not my way or your way (doing things and thinking them and understanding them, “conveniently” for “my own reasons”), His way is the “same way” for all. Be careful because the only way we “believe” “lies” is believing that they are “truth”. “Objectivity” can only come from the one that is “The Beginning and the End” (for the one that has faith (of course), because it comes through the Spirit).

“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.” 1 john 4, 7-8

“I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts. I will put my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes, careful to observe my decrees." Ezekiel 36, 26-27

“18 Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth. 19By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him 20whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24All who keep his commandments abide in him, and he in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit which he has given us.”1 John 3, 18-24

“1 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower. 2 He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit, and everyone that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit. 3 You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you. 4 Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing. 6 Anyone who does not remain in me will be thrown out like a branch and wither; people will gather them and throw them into a fire and they will be burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. 8 By this is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. 9 As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. 12 This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.” John 15, 1-12

Man shows love because His love (Gods love) created him, but man needs God to keep showing love. He needs to be refueling in a sense. He will stop showing love (Gods love) in the means he distances from God.
 
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