How would you deal with this situation?

[Servant31]

Thanks for the post. Yeah I’ve considered this too. I got counceling for depression but not this specifically. I was frustrated long ago about the situation overalll, certainly not a anymore, it was a long long time ago. But i couldn’t imagine many people I know not being at the time, considering the consequences to my life. I was more trying to get at how do you deal with difficult bosses, teachers, or other authority figures, as a Catholic, when the consequences affect your life as well. I usually just let it go and take a “ tomorrow is a new day” approach but if it becomes a recurring issue. There is a pathway forward, but I definitely want to address any weaknesses I have, whether they be in emotional management, assertiveness, students rights, or really whatever would be necessary. Most people consider me a pretty nice guy, although I’m certainly not perfect. Most people think I “put up with too much,” not that I don’t take responsibility as others have suggested. So I could see it a few different ways.

 

[po18guy]

You are fighting the powers that be. You are bound to lose many, if not all battles, and will ultimately be disillusioned. Higher education is often a matter of sucking it up, shutting up, passing the course and later restoring truth, correctness and common sense in the course of your work.

 

[Servant31]

Thanks for the response. That’s about the approach I was trying to take as well unfortunately I’m guessing I was only 80% successful. That sounds pretty consistent with the Catholic approach I learned in school as well. It sounds like I need to double down on that. I appreciate the (name removed by moderator)ut and perspectives.

 

[po18guy]

Peace is found in embracing certain things in this life. It is also found, perhaps even more profoundly, in the letting go of other things. In your case, the letting go has been identified for you - a blessing.

 

[Servant31]

Thanks for the constructive response. I did seek counseling a few times over the years, they are usually the ones encouraging me to assert myself or take risks. I can see their point, and I’ve tried to work that in. It hasn’t turned out horribly, but not better than the method I learned in catholic school of basically sucking it up and things will even out in the end. And yeah I certainly admit to feeling burned on occasion, truthfully though most of my coworkers that are more successful (ie lawyers, physicians, etc. )usually think I do a pretty good job and am reasonably balanced (no ones perfect all the time) and we get along well. I tend to get along with most,( have friction with a few) ,but not be friends with, the ones who don’t do their job or complain a lot, gossip a lot, etc. This was actually a part of what led to the depression is half the staff at one of my previous jobs were doing most of the work, and after years most of them frustrated quit. I finally did as well but only after some serious burnout. I was also night shift which took its toll. I’m certainly not perfect but my previous manager said as I left “your a sea of calm in a storm”. So I’m trying to be honest and accept admonishment here but I’m getting mixed messages depending the source. And often the sources who get really upset at me don’t know me very well.

 

[Servant31]

Thanks all for the responses. I reread the first post and apologies if it came off as snarky or with an attitude, i was trying to keep it short and don’t think I represented my question, or the situation as well as I should have. I’ve tried to respond to everyone and clarify as much as possible. I appreciate the perspectives, I’ll definitely consider these going forward.

 

[Rhubarb]

Anger and attitude issues are something that you can work on and contain, if you have the will power and presence of mind to do so.

Medical professions are stressful. You are acting as a servant to help patients recover, and often those patients can’t or won’t take instruction. You have to deal with bad patients, ignorant patients, and a complex and oppressive office-political system. There are many, many opportunities for you to lose your temper or behave socially unacceptable.

But if you really want to train in medicine, go for it. But realize that you MUST temper your attitude and always be working on your anger issues. Dr. Cox from Scrubs would have been fired immediately. That kind of behavior won’t fly.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I think you validly think what you do. Your lens, however, is broken.

Let’s give your story 3 lenses. You can tell me if you see how different each is.

Johnathan “I can’t get any respect and people are always rude to me. I listen to authority but everyone is always trying to get me down. Nobody wants to help me and I have to fight for everything, only to be faced with petty people. I tried to get help from a professor once and I got a verbal smackdown for a minor mistake that everyone does anyway. Then when I tried to ask questions the rest of the semester the professor just ignored me and if he did answer he did so mockingly and told me to look at my textbook.”

Anna “I work really hard. I do all the readings that are required, I know the rules of the class and lab. I pay attention and I can’t stand all the students who don’t do the bare minimum taking up time asking questions that can be answered by doing what they are supposed to. I’m not paying to read the textbook! I could do that on my own. Even answering one of these questions the Professor takes up my valuable time.”

Professor “I have no idea what more I can do. I post signs everywhere, I have it in the syllabus, I tell the students frequently not to bring liquids or containers in. I get ignored and then when I enforce the rules that keep them safe, they get pissy. Just the other day a student came in and when I told him to put his drink away rather than doing that he stormed off and did not return. I’ve given up calling on him because he always asks things easily answered by reading what I tell him”

As far as advisors—I spent way more than my allotted 40 hours with students and many of my colleagues did the same. What we didn’t have time for were the students who came in at 4:45 on Friday before a break/long weekend who demanded to know how a massive degree change involving checking with other departments would go.

Universities are actually made up of smaller divisions called “colleges” and then even smaller divisions called “schools”. For instance, a common break down is University XYZ. College of Science & Tech. College of Education & Math. College of Arts. College of Business And a further break down the college of, say, Science and tech you will have the school of Tech — CS, IT, engineering, etc. School of science-- psychology, physics, biology. And that doesn’t even cover Masters, PhD and the like!

An advisor will only work under one “college” and typically with one school or two. In some larger schools, they may only work on one program. It’s not as easy as typing a code into the computer and printing out a new course of study. It’s a shame if you were never given a proper advisor, but my guess is that you were simply told to go to that department or to come back at a different time, or call during a break when the advisor would have the time (which a drastic change may take hours) to ensure you got the right plan in place.

“Laying out a pre-med pathway” is no where near as simple as you make it, especally with such a disaprate degree.