Hubby messaging another woman. I need advice please!

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foxc1 said:
I don’t know how to react. I received this message on myspace. I called my hubby and left him a message. I’m so angry. I cannot answer his calls. We’re both at work. How should I deal with this? Being pregnant and all is making me more emotional than usual. I told him on the message I hate him. He’s called back twice but I don’t know what to say to him, I don’t want to talk to him. What should I do? Please help me. I need some advice on how to handle this situation. Should I be mad? Should I be somewhat happy he said the things he said to this woman?
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well, if that was me that this happened to let me tell you, there would be alot of discussion going on! sounds to me like your husband needs to be spoken to, but do it charitably. do not get into it with him. have a talk with him. a serious heart to heart talk. this is not acceptable at all. he should not be doing this to you and your marriage.

no you should not accept this or be happy about because he is flirting with this woman, and he is leading her on, and she is likely doing the same thing with him. this is kind of like verbal adultery.
this is unacceptable. ask him to stop, and ask him serious questions about your marriage and what does it mean to him? he has a baby on the way! he should have more respect for you and your marriage and your baby than to be doing what he is doing.

i will pray for you! oh and one thing, don’t EVER think this is your fault! because its not! he is not behaving as a commited husband ought to be behaving and he is not honoring the marriage vows he took before God. the error is his not yours. so have a heart to heart with him. if he continues to do it then speak with your priest. i would speak with the priest regardless. always be charitable when you speak with your husband no matter how angry you are at him. calm discussion goes along way.
 
Wiseguy said:
you were not to hard on him. he needed that little scare, that slap in the face. he was on the verge of doing something really bad. the person who set him up actually did you both a favor. if he hadnt been caught early on who knows how far he would have gone with it.
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~ You have made some very serious accusations about the motives of the OP’s husband here that contradict a good part of what the OP has said about what happened and how she had her husband have already moved to resolve the issue. Do you know details she does not about this particular situation?
TraditionalCath said:
no you should not accept this or be happy about because he is flirting with this woman, and he is leading her on, and she is likely doing the same thing with him. this is kind of like verbal adultery.
this is unacceptable. ask him to stop, and ask him serious questions about your marriage and what does it mean to him? he has a baby on the way! he should have more respect for you and your marriage and your baby than to be doing what he is doing.
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You have also made some very serious accusations about the motives of the OP’s husband here that contradict a good part of what the OP has said about what happened. Do you also know something she does not about this particular situation?

It is not helping anyone to encourage fear / punishment / chastisement / distrust, especially while not paying attention to what the OP has revealed about the situation rather than the previous forays into conjecture by others trying to see the worst as being the most probably. It seems these attitudes are based on (often creative) expansions of what might happen under circumstances not significantly resembling on how the OP’s husband was actually using the social networking sites or giving the brush-off when someone contacted him. In particular, jumping to a conclusion by pointedly ignoring that the primary thrust of the husband’s response when he was contacted what that he was happily married and asking the other female to not initiate any further contact.
 
Ray_Scheel said:
~ You have made some very serious accusations about the motives of the OP’s husband here that contradict a good part of what the OP has said about what happened and how she had her husband have already moved to resolve the issue. Do you know details she does not about this particular situation?

You have also made some very serious accusations about the motives of the OP’s husband here that contradict a good part of what the OP has said about what happened. Do you also know something she does not about this particular situation?

It is not helping anyone to encourage fear / punishment / chastisement / distrust, especially while not paying attention to what the OP has revealed about the situation rather than the previous forays into conjecture by others trying to see the worst as being the most probably. It seems these attitudes are based on (often creative) expansions of what might happen under circumstances not significantly resembling on how the OP’s husband was actually using the social networking sites or giving the brush-off when someone contacted him. In particular, jumping to a conclusion by pointedly ignoring that the primary thrust of the husband’s response when he was contacted what that he was happily married and asking the other female to not initiate any further contact.
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i can ask the mods to edit my post. no problem:) i have written the moderator and asked her to edit the post. my apologies to the OP if my words were to strong or judgemental. that is not what i intended to do at all. my sincerest apologies.

TC
 
rpp said:
I am so very sorry this is happening.

Dump the MySpace accounts (the “site preferred by 4 out of 5 pedophiles”).

And hubby get the sofa for a while.

Personally, I think it is healthy for men and women to have friends of the opposite gender. However, when they are married, these friendships must be totally out in the open.

May God grant you peace. May your DH come to understand what you need. Especially during the rather emotional time before your baby is born.
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It’s true. I have a LOT of online friends, many of them of the totally opposite sex, but I don’t hide who they are or what I say to them, and many are also friends of my SU.
 
Sorry I haven’t been on, morning sickness is not just for the mornings.I hadn’t had the chance to come and check my messages. We’re doing better, he doesn’t touch the computer any more, and if he does, he does it with me sitting next to him. He gave me his passwords for his emails and did cancel the myspace thing, which is a good thing. He doesn’t want anything to do with myspace any more, not evenuse my account for the 2 of us. I guess that’s ok. I’ll just have to cancel mine, which doesn’t bother me at all. Thanks to all for your concerns!
 
yessisan said:
This is so true!!! Men are like that… my DH is a sucker for that! And if he sees me cry, he even forgets we’re arguing and goes directly to hug me and kiss me. 😃 But I do think the OP should apologize for only seeing those 2 things from the message instead of the entire message. He did tell that woman he was happily married! Or am I the only one who can see that?
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Tears are blackmail, seriously! Haha! Just kidding!
 
Foxc, I’m so glad to hear that. You
experienced a great heartache. You’ve survived it. He’s doing all the mature things.
Good for you both.
 
foxc1 said:
I don’t know how to react. I received this message on myspace. I called my hubby and left him a message. I’m so angry. I cannot answer his calls. We’re both at work. How should I deal with this? Being pregnant and all is making me more emotional than usual. I told him on the message I hate him. He’s called back twice but I don’t know what to say to him, I don’t want to talk to him. What should I do? Please help me. I need some advice on how to handle this situation. Should I be mad? Should I be somewhat happy he said the things he said to this woman?
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didn’t read the whole topic, sorry. but let me comment.
your husband replied TEN DAYS LATER. that’s how interested he was.
I think he was just being very polite to the woman, complimenting her looks, and the “maybe I’ll call” part is just to make her feel better.
from your perspective it looks very ugly, I know. so calm down and tell him to close the account and to start making friends in real life.
 
yessisan said:
Aren’t you funny?? :rotfl: If I wanted to use it against him I could, but I choose not to do it that way… blackmail is bad…
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Are you…are you…are you saying that women can produce tears on demand?
 
foxc1 said:
Sorry I haven’t been on, morning sickness is not just for the mornings.I hadn’t had the chance to come and check my messages. We’re doing better, he doesn’t touch the computer any more, and if he does, he does it with me sitting next to him. He gave me his passwords for his emails and did cancel the myspace thing, which is a good thing. He doesn’t want anything to do with myspace any more, not evenuse my account for the 2 of us. I guess that’s ok. I’ll just have to cancel mine, which doesn’t bother me at all. Thanks to all for your concerns!
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If you want to use the internet to keep up with family and friends you two could start some sort of family page TOGETHER. You both have the password and it is a joint page (you are ONE FLESH, right?). My wife set up a page for us during our engagement and we will probably continue it through our marriage. I know many couples that start blogs, etc. to keep family up to date. When I was a missionary in Honduras I met a beautiful missionary family. They keep up a blog where they can post photos and updates of what is new with them. You can check it out familiahinckley.blogspot.com/ for an idea of what you two could do. Its just a suggestion.

God bless you and your husband. I will pray for his purity of mind, body and spirit. God is good! 👍
 
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