Here’s the in my debate with my protagonist on this issue: The morality of murder is objectively knowable, both from the perspective of the observer and the victims. The knowledge of those things that are objectively knowable, like murder, rape, lying, etc., may not depend on immediate direct experience. In the case of ABC, the question is: On what basis does one judge it to be moral or immoral? My position is that those acts that are in conformance with God’s will are moral and those that conflict with God’s will are immoral. That leaves the discernment of just what is in accord with God’s will w.r.t. conjugal intercourse and what conflicts with it . In conjugal intercourse, couples learn from their direct experience and knowledge of conjugal life the two separate roles God that intended for conjugal intercourse to play in marriage. Married Catholics through their (subjective) direct experience and knowledge of conjugal intercourse properly discerned God’s (objectively knowable) will as to the separate ends of conjugal intercourse.
God made us to know, love, and serve Him in this life, so we can be happy with Him in the next. That is His will, the highest good. However, He gave us free will, to choose to accept His highest good for us or to choose some lower good. He decides what the highest good is; He does not leave us to decide what is good and what is not.
God is a God of justice and love. All creation, all morality, relies on these two. Murder is immoral not because a person dies, but because an innocent person dies. It is just for a person to die for an approprately serious offense. Life is a good that is being taken. Lying is immoral because it withholds the truth from someone who has a good reason to have it. But, not everyone has a good reason to have it. Truth is a good that is being denied. Rape is immoral not becase sex is bad, but because the free will of another is taken away. Free will is a good
taken away. All of these rely on justice. A person has been given by God a claim (but not an absolute claim) to the goods of life, truth, free will, etc. He created and bestowed the goods of life, truth, free will, etc. and bestowed reason and faith for knowledge of them; man did not stumble across, and then grant these goods through their own laws.
God did not design man, woman, and sex with two ends and say,“It’s a coin toss. Sometimes sex will be result in union, and sometime it will result in procreation (which is different from conception, as you well know).” Nor did He say say, “The default wil be fun without a baby and they can do whatever they want to try and keep it that way; and every now and then, regardless of what they do, I’ll step in and make a baby. They just have to deal with it, because it’s My will after all. And, if they don’t like it they are immoral.” Both assume God does not know or care what sex is for. Neither of these respect our free will; they are not just or loving.
God, in His love, gave us claims to certain goods, and through His justice He respects our use of them. He still knows what their higest use is, and wills it.
Therefore, the good of sex is designed, ordered, and objectively known and pleasureable. It is the free, full, faithful, and fruitful gift of one complete (physical and spiritual) person to another.
Free - God designed that we can see the good of sex and choose it.
Full - that it is every part of ourself (mind, heart, soul, body, fertility, past, present, future, eternity).
Faithful - that it is for that one other person for the whole of your life; for spiritual and physical aid in getting yourself, the other, and those you help make to their ultimate end.
Fruitful - that babies are only made one way, through the good of sex, you accept that you may be entrusted with the gift of children, or not, and that your relationship will give spiritual life.
The good of sex it the total gift of self. We are both body and soul. We cannot give our soul to our spouse for the sake of “union” without giving all of our body, as well. This is the language of the body. We cannot give the pleasureable part of our body without giving the generative, because that is not total. Using the good of sex for anything less is immoral. Contraception is not immoral because it is pleasureable. It is immoral because, it takes the good of sex, the total gift of self, and dismantles it to extract lesser goods.
Morality is not subjective and is not determined “through their direct experience of the conjugal life.” A couple that thinks they know what is the highest good for themselves by ignoring the specific purpose of a God given good, is not discerning or doing God’s will for them.
For both your and your opponent’s further reading try Holy Sex! by Gregory Popcak, PH.D.
~ God bless!
