Humiliated at church

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Intosh

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Don’t know if this is the right section of the forum, forgive me if it’s not, i just would like an opinion from you all.

Thing is, i was dating this very religious girl (i’m 24 and she is 21), i went to church with her just to make her happy (i’m atheist).
During mass, i was chatting with her and using my mobile phone cause i was really bored, she asked me to keep quite but i didn’t; i’m aware i’ve been stupid and disrespectful. After a while, she put one hand over my mouth and with the other hand she held my wrists tight so that i couldn’t move, at the beginning i tried to react and to speak (but obviously with her hand over my mouth it sounded like “mmmmm” :ehh:), but then i noticed people around us was watching me so i stopped. 😊
Honestly i felt really embarassed by the situation, but she is still angry with me and doesn’t want to apoogize for what she did. What do you think of it?
 
Intosh said:
Don’t know if this is the right section of the forum, forgive me if it’s not, i just would like an opinion from you all.

Thing is, i was dating this very religious girl (i’m 24 and she is 21), i went to church with her just to make her happy (i’m atheist).
During mass, i was chatting with her and using my mobile phone cause i was really bored, she asked me to keep quite but i didn’t; i’m aware i’ve been stupid and disrespectful. After a while, she put one hand over my mouth and with the other hand she held my wrists tight so that i couldn’t move, at the beginning i tried to react and to speak (but obviously with her hand over my mouth it sounded like “mmmmm” :ehh:), but then i noticed people around us was watching me so i stopped. 😊
Honestly i felt really embarassed by the situation, but she is still angry with me and doesn’t want to apoogize for what she did. What do you think of it?
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Honestly,
I think you are a troll. If not, regardless of your religious beliefs (or in this case, lack of), you were rude and immature. She has every right to be angry at you and she doesn’t need to apologize for what she did. Grow up.
 
Religious or not, bored or not, when someone asks you to stay still or keep quiet, you stay still and keep quiet. Simple as that. It shows a high level of disrespect for everyone there, not least your girlfriend, for.you to be so disruptive.

Church services, like movie theatres, are places where you shouldn’t even have to be told.to keep quiet - people are obviously not there to chat with each other.

What she did was a little more extreme than many would do, but if she was repeatedly asking you to.stop and you didn’t then it was not undeserved and she has nothing to apologise for.
 
LilyM said:
Religious or not, bored or not, when someone asks you to stay still or keep quiet, you stay still and keep quiet. Simple as that. It shows a high level of disrespect for everyone there, not least your girlfriend, for.you to be so disruptive.

What she did was a little more extreme than many would do, but if she was repeatedly asking you to.stop and you didn’t then it was not undeserved and she has nothing to apologise for.
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I thought for christians nothing could justify violence, or physical restrain, or whatever you wanna call it in this case…
 
Intosh said:
I thought for christians nothing could justify violence, or physical restrain, or whatever you wanna call it in this case…
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Frankly, you shouldn’t have had to be reminded to keep quiet at all. Have you never been inside a church before? You know people are.there to worship God, not indulge in social chitchat with each other.
 
Intosh said:
I thought for christians nothing could justify violence, or physical restrain, or whatever you wanna call it in this case…
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Are you coming here to ask a legitimate argument or just start a fight? Obviously this is false, since Christians CAN use violence in self defense, not to mention the just war doctrine. If you are interested in actual legitimate in discussion, I’d be happy to oblige, but don’t come here to be condescending.
CCC 2263 The legitimate defense of persons and societies is not an exception to the prohibition against the murder of the innocent that constitutes intentional killing. "The act of self-defense can have a double effect: the preservation of one’s own life; and the killing of the aggressor. . . . The one is intended, the other is not.
2309 The strict conditions for legitimate defense by military force require rigorous consideration. The gravity of such a decision makes it subject to rigorous conditions of moral legitimacy. At one and the same time:
  • the damage inflicted by the aggressor on the nation or community of nations must be lasting, grave, and certain;
  • all other means of putting an end to it must have been shown to be impractical or ineffective;
  • there must be serious prospects of success;
  • the use of arms must not produce evils and disorders graver than the evil to be eliminated. The power of modem means of destruction weighs very heavily in evaluating this condition.
These are the traditional elements enumerated in what is called the “just war” doctrine.
 
Your girlfriend was right. You were wrong. Speaking and using your phone at Mass is disrespectful.

You would not speak or use your phone in a courtroom, would take off your hat, rise when the judge entered, etc. Treat the Church as such.

Everyone was looking at you for a reason - you were creating a disturbance. She did you a favor by restraining you.

-Tim-
 
Intosh said:
Honestly i felt really embarassed by the situation, but she is still angry with me and doesn’t want to apoogize for what she did. What do you think of it?
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Well, you really did bring all the attention upon yourself.
Intosh said:
i went to church with her just to make her happy (i’m atheist).
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And there is the problem.
 
It isn’t she who owes the apology.

For future reference I also suggest reviewing how to conduct oneself in theaters, auditoriums, houses of worship, courtrooms, and other places where one is expected to be quiet, respectful, and polite and also to refrain from use of one’s electronic devices. This is how one behaves when one has manners, regardless of one’s personal beliefs.

Your behavior sounds awfully immature for a 24 year old.
 
Intosh said:
I thought for christians nothing could justify violence, or physical restrain, or whatever you wanna call it in this case…
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Are you under the impression that Christians have to be doormats and put up with ill behavior from anyone who who is inclined to do so? I’d like to know where you learned that Christians cannot defend themselves or restrain someone who is being disruptive, such as a child. You were behaving childishly and thus were treated as such.
 
Intosh said:
I thought for christians nothing could justify violence, or physical restrain, or whatever you wanna call it in this case…
Click to expand...
You have been misinformed. What she did was nothing more than any frustrated parent would have done to get the attention of a disruptive child. YOU owe HER the apology.
 
Sounds to me like you were the one humiliating her, and you’re lucky she didn’t give you a little smack. Grow up and learn how to be respectful of other people. :twocents:
 
Intosh said:
I thought for christians nothing could justify violence, or physical restrain, or whatever you wanna call it in this case…
Click to expand...
You have a lot to learn about human nature buddy. Christians are not robots. I hope her next move was to drop you like a hot piece of coal. You are the kind of atheist that give atheists a really bad name. Fortunately, I have known considerate and kind atheists so I will not use you as an example of the stupidity you have thus shown.

My guess is that you are not so much as an atheist but a troll.
 
You need to seriously consider if you want a relationship with a Catholic Woman. She needs to consider if she really wants a relationship with an atheist. From the outside looking in it appears this relationship is beset with all sorts of very foreseeable problems
 
I could understand how attending Mass would be boring if you’ve never attended before and have no idea what’s going on. I really can. My nephew who had never been to Mass before in his life attended once with his dad, and brought his Sonic wacky pack and drink inside the Church. My mom was furious, but then again, how would he know? Usually there is an announcement beforehand asking the congregants to turn off their phones, electrical gadgets, etc. If they did, then you should have been more respectful and your girlfriend has every right to be angry and so would the people around you that you were distracting.

Not to be insulting, but the cry room isn’t just for kids anymore. We see grown ups in there all the time fooling around with their phones and whatever. I suppose the Mass is simply too disruptive for them and their business that simply can’t wait 'til after Mass. She may not want to take you to Church again, but if she does I would suggest you attend with an open mind and be respectful. Some things are bigger and more important than ourselves.

God bless you.
 
Intosh said:
Don’t know if this is the right section of the forum, forgive me if it’s not, i just would like an opinion from you all.

Thing is, i was dating this very religious girl (i’m 24 and she is 21), i went to church with her just to make her happy (i’m atheist).
During mass, i was chatting with her and using my mobile phone cause i was really bored, she asked me to keep quite but i didn’t; i’m aware i’ve been stupid and disrespectful. After a while, she put one hand over my mouth and with the other hand she held my wrists tight so that i couldn’t move, at the beginning i tried to react and to speak (but obviously with her hand over my mouth it sounded like “mmmmm” :ehh:), but then i noticed people around us was watching me so i stopped. 😊
Honestly i felt really embarassed by the situation, but she is still angry with me and doesn’t want to apoogize for what she did. What do you think of it?
Click to expand...
It’s a TOSS-UP on who was MORE WRONG

YOU SHOULD HAVE!

No common sense used here at all. Very poor judgment on your part & a very wrong reaction on the part of your friend.

She should have just gotten up and moved away form you.

SAD, VERY sad!

God Bless you,

BTW, If you choose the clothes your wearing I can PROVE God;'s existence to you

God BLESS YOU

Patrick {PJM}
 
Definitely you should apologize. Obviously you were disrespectful of the place you were and the people around you.
 
LilyM said:
Religious or not, bored or not, when someone asks you to stay still or keep quiet, you stay still and keep quiet. Simple as that. It shows a high level of disrespect for everyone there, not least your girlfriend, for.you to be so disruptive.

Church services, like movie theatres, are places where you shouldn’t even have to be told.to keep quiet - people are obviously not there to chat with each other.

What she did was a little more extreme than many would do, but if she was repeatedly asking you to.stop and you didn’t then it was not undeserved and she has nothing to apologise for.
Click to expand...
I agree with this. OP, it sounds like you lack the respect due to someone you consider your girlfriend. I’m not trying to be mean here, but grow up a little. My wife isn’t a Catholic, but when she goes to mass with me she’s completely respectful and attentive. You might not care about what’s going on, but it’s obvious that your girlfriend does. You should not continue this relationship if you can’t even dredge up the respect for her required to shut up and sit still, and keep off your phones for an hour.

Perhaps instead of ignoring what’s being said during mass, you should play the part of an adult and actually consider it.
 
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