Humility vs Low Self Image

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One is good for the soul,the other one may be harmful to mental health. How does one distinguish between them?
 
RCIAGraduate said:
One is good for the soul,the other one may be harmful to mental health. How does one distinguish between them?
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Humility does not mean an exaggerated low view of yourself. It means a realistic view of yourself, your strengths and weakness. Humility is acknowledging our need of God.
 
St. Paul obvious had low self esteem, he called himself bastard.
 
Andre1000 said:
St. Paul obvious had low self esteem.
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a…no I do not think so.

And I prefer myself not to use the term ‘self esteem’ anyhow…

St. Paul was quite aware of the splendid reality of his being a new creation in Christ and of all the gifts God had given him and of his own weakness. Such is humility.
 
RCIAGraduate said:
One is good for the soul,the other one may be harmful to mental health. How does one distinguish between them?
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‘Low self esteem’ says “I don’t have personal worth”; ‘humility’ says “I’m awesome, but not because of me… but rather, because God made me and loves me!”

How do we distinguish them? It doesn’t seem difficult… if we properly understand the two. 😉
 
RCIAGraduate said:
One is good for the soul,the other one may be harmful to mental health. How does one distinguish between them?
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If someone is humble, he can say, “I made a mistake (am wrong)”, “I don´t know”, “I’m sorry”, when wrong, can admit it, if not immediately, at least at some point, and then ACCEPT correction. Pride folks have difficulty with all the above.

Low self image/self esteem is where we don´t value ourselves enough, let people walk all over us, won´t stand up for ourselves, even to defend ourselves, when we are in the right. Low self esteem…a person might have trouble even looking someone in the eye, standing/sitting up straight, may not be able to speak up, to a point you might have to ask, again and again, for him/her to repeat. He doesn´t believe his opinion has value.

In low self esteem, he lacks even normal confidence, may withdraw out of fear, not feel good enough, worthy…of much of anything…walk hunched over, head down, eyes averted.

One is good…being able to admit when one is wrong, accepting correction, if/when needed. The other is problematic, because the person has a very negative self view, possibly self hatred, which, I don´t God wants of us. Look at children. They have have good self esteem, until someone teaches them, otherwise, generally through put downs, sometimes physical, mental, or verbal abuse. Then, a person learns he is no good, or so he thinks…that others must always come first, even if it means neglecting and ignoring his own needs.

However, even caretakers MUST take care of themselves, or some point, experience burnout.

So…humility is positive. Low self esteem is negative. Be humble. Don´t think you´re superior, indispensable, and others below you, but neither are we below them. Avoid the extremes…thinking we are better than others or worse. We’re all equal before God.

God bless you! 👍
 
Andre1000 said:
St. Paul obvious had low self esteem, he called himself bastard.
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I believe you are referring to this:

1 Cor. 15[3] For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures,
[4] that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures,
[5] and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve.
[6] Then he appeared to more than five hundred brethren at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep.
[7] Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles.
[8] Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me.

St. Paul merely meant that since he persecuted the Church and was the last Apostle to be chosen, he is the least of Apostles. Now, that’s humility not low self esteem.
 
Hi, All ~

Here are a few notes collected over the years. Thanks for the question that prompted me to review. 😉 PJ
“True humility entails a degree of skepticism, i.e. the acknowledgment that one’s beliefs and commitments might possibly be mistaken, and hence a willingness to revise one’s positions in light of new evidence.” - Richard Yetter Chappell
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"A humble man will always receive the best that others have to offer; for he recognizes the truth.” - Jeremy Aldana

((While there may be a deeper meaning, this says (to me) that I must assume that however someone treats me, they are giving the best they have to offer in that moment. Even when I know to ‘do better’, sometimes inner turmoil causes me to have ‘St. Paul syndrome’. 😦 ))
Humility - He learned to know that he was equal to everyone else, no better or no less, simply equal. - Indian quote
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It all comes down to: "Whom do I serve by doing this task? My self (ego) or Spirit?”
B]Humility
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Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble. – Andrew Murray

The Power of Humility - Sri Chinmoy

First of all we need exactly to define what humility is. Because our ego often gives rise to excessive over-promotion, we feel that humility therefore involves the opposite extreme - publicly castigating ourselves and laying on excessive lashings of forced modesty. Yet the underlying feeling behind this kind of behaviour is insecurity and a desire to have others think better of us, and as such is just as much a manifestation of ego as excessive aggrandisement.

Humility is, quite simply, what happens when we go beyond the ego - a sincere and genuine self-appraisal, taking into account the entire being, all the faults and good points alike. As meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy points out “When you take a back seat consciously and deliberately in order to show others how humble you are, you are not being humble at all.
  1. Humility connects us with the world. Humility removes us from ideas of inferiority and superiority and expands our vision to take others into account. When we are humble, we fell more connected to our fellow human beings, and we become more empathetic and loving. This kind of connection with the world gives us a sense of expansion and vastness, which is itself a great power.
  2. Humility gives your words added power. Our ego often acts as an inflationary mechanism on our words, causing us to subconsciously exaggerate statements, and over time, the weight of our statements will be lowered in the eyes of others. However, if our words come from a definite self-sincerity without any need to aggrandise ourselves in the process, then they will carry that ring of authenticity which will make people trust us more.
  3. Humility brings detachment. Often with the ego, we get welded to an opinion or idea and it becomes part of our own self-conception. Hence when someone attacks it, it seems as if are somehow attacking us, and we respond accordingly. However, when we have true humility, we learn not to take these things too seriously. If someone attacks your idea, you can evaluate that criticism on its merits instead of feeling hurt and wounded. We can therefore stay calm in the midst of criticism and argument, and serenely chart the best course forward.
  4. When you are humble, it is a sign you really have something to offer to the world. Often our ego acts because it tries to compensate for our shortcomings - hence the expression “empty vessels make the most noise”. However when you have this quality of humility, it allows you to bring whatever inner inspiration you have to the world in a very pure form, without the distortions caused by the ego’s aggrandisation.
  5. Humility helps you evolve as a person. If you are proud, then when shortcomings are pointed out, you will more often not just end up getting bitter at the person who pointed them out and digging a nice little mental trench for yourself. However, a humble person accepts his shortcomings for what they are, and is then able to work on their transformation for his personal growth.
  6. Putting good qualities in perspective. Often if we have a talent, we use it to mentally feel superior. If you find a good quality getting to your head, sincerely ask yourself if there is really no-one on earth more talented in that particular discipline than you: in 99% of cases there are thousands of people. This not only helps get rid of your vanity, it also helps you expand your awareness with the universe by considering all those people.
  7. Use the word ‘serve’ instead of ‘help’: When we say we are helping someone we often feel a little superior to the person we are helping, that they somehow possess a defect we do not. Instead if we use the term ‘serve’, we recognise the full worth of the person we are serving, and we feel grateful for the opportunity.
  8. Connect with a vaster part of ourselves. Often our ego is fed by insecurity, a feeling that the things we have could be taken away at any moment.
 
The Litany of Humility by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val 1865-1930), Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but rather thinking of yourself less.
 
RCIAGraduate said:
One is good for the soul,the other one may be harmful to mental health. How does one distinguish between them?
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Modern Catholic Dictionary:

HUMILITY. The moral virtue that keeps a person from reaching beyond himself. It is the virtue that restrains the unruly desire for personal greatness and leads people to an orderly love of themselves based on a true appreciation of their position with respect to God and their neighbors. Religious humility recognizes one’s total dependence on God; moral humility recognizes one’s creaturely equality with others. Yet humility is not only opposed to pride; it is also opposed to immoderate self-abjection, which would fail to recognize God’s gifts and use them according to his will. (Etym. Latin humilitas, abasement, humility, from humus, ground.)
 
The Imitation of Christ largely deals with the mortification of the self, that seems to go way beyond the development of humility. As far as a low self-image goes, why have a self image at all? I consider the self to be an illusion, with God the only reality. To have a high esteem towards our spiritual life is much more important than having self-esteem. Like* The Imitation of Christ*, I condemn self-esteem and see it as always being egotistical.
 
Robert_Sock said:
The Imitation of Christ largely deals with the mortification of the self, that seems to go way beyond the development of humility. As far as a low self-image goes, why have a self image at all? I consider the self to be an illusion, with God the only reality. To have a high esteem towards our spiritual life is much more important than having self-esteem. Like* The Imitation of Christ*, I condemn self-esteem and see it as always being egotistical.
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We exist. We are not an illusion!!
 
thistle said:
We exist. We are not an illusion!!
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Maybe we are defining “self” differently. For me it is nothing more than a psychological concept, not real in and of itself. The self is merely an illusion involving the inner reflection of awareness. Know that we are not really that separate from others, but are becoming highly dependent.
 
Modern Catholic Dictionary:

SELF. The person considered as object of its own awareness and subject of its own acts, or, more generally, any being (including God) in relation to its own identity.
 
thistle said:
Modern Catholic Dictionary:

SELF. The person considered as object of its own awareness and subject of its own acts, or, more generally, any being (including God) in relation to its own identity.
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Based on that definition, how would you explain the following passage:

We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the sinful body might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin.
-Romans 6:6
 
Robert_Sock said:
Based on that definition, how would you explain the following passage:

We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the sinful body might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin.
-Romans 6:6
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The use of the term “old self” more than implies a “new self” free from sin. We know that we are not illusions from many sources, but the clincher is that Christ was fully human as well as fully divine. He was true man, a true self, a true person hypostatically joined with his divine nature. God created us in his image, which is personhood, not merely the illusion of personhood. You are expouding a heresy–probably a very old one–most are. To deny that we are real is to deny that Christ was/is real. And I don’t think you really want to go there. 😉
 
Della said:
The use of the term “old self” more than implies a “new self” free from sin. We know that we are not illusions from many sources, but the clincher is that Christ was fully human as well as fully divine. He was true man, a true self, a true person hypostatically joined with his divine nature. God created us in his image, which is personhood, not merely the illusion of personhood. You are expouding a heresy–probably a very old one–most are. To deny that we are real is to deny that Christ was/is real. And I don’t think you really want to go there. 😉
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I believe that nothing exists except God, and that “we” would fizzle into nothingness if we were to truly enter into His presence.
 
Robert_Sock said:
I believe that nothing exists except God, and that “we” would fizzle into nothingness if we were to truly enter into His presence.
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You are free to believe whatever you wish, but that doesn’t make it reality. 🙂 But no, we would not “fizzle into nothingness” at God’s presence. Jesus would have told us so if that were true. We are not mere bumps in the tapioca of life. God created beings other than himself so that he could share his love with others capable of returning it. Mere illusions cannot return love nor make real decisions to love. There is a name for the heresy you are expounding. Someone else who has studied heresies can no doubt tell you what it is and who first proposed it, but it wasn’t you, dear friend.
 
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