Husband doesn't bathe--PLEASE help!

[Pug]

I’ve never heard of anyone who doesn’t shower at least once per day. Even as a kid in the very drought stricken outback town I grew up in we bathed every evening. Mind you we shared the water. The only people that didn’t bath daily were considered disadvantaged in some way. They were the unfortunate kids who smelt of urine and looked unwashed.

Of course this is the tropics and we sweat right through the winter months here. You all probably live in the cooler climates.

Some folks don’t have much oil in their skin and don’t sweat much, for example many babies. I bathe the minimum I can get away with because my skin is less painful that way. I can’t do that when it is 100 F and humid, though. I have to make sure the water is cool and I get in and out fast and I avoid overuse of soap during those times. So anyway, we people exist.

I feel for the OP. Dealing with a repulsive odor right up next to you when you are supposed to be all smiles and eagerness is slight challenge. Also the emotional portion is frustrating. I have no solution to offer, unless you (OP) want to try putting a vapor cream under your nose at the crucial moment. I can tell you the problem may go on for a very long time (sorry 'bout that). Some people maybe don’t care about how they smell to others or find it easier to accept the reduction in social contact that it might cause rather than do something about it.

 

[trinnnnity]

retrouvaille.org

Just do it.
Something is wrong and y’all don’t have the skills needed to communicate. There’s too much here for us to try to diagnose and it’s not helpful. With 2 children you don’t want to just go for a divorce. Divorce doesn’t cure a problem, it just creates new ones. Retrouvaille is a wonderful miracle working program.

 

[NurseyJ]

This sounded a “red alert” for me. Has he been tested for sleep apnea?

With sleep apnea you can “sleep” but not really be getting any rest. Trust me, my husband considered his snoring “normal” and it took me a lot of prodding to get him to go in and see a doctor and get a sleep study. Big, big wake up call. (pun intended )

You can google it and get lots of information, but trust me, it’s not just about the snoring - it effects brain function and heart function. And for the non-medical side - it can turn your spouse into basically a walking zombie - including skipping showers, zoning out in front of the computer, and not being particularly interested in making decisions and/or being any kind of leader - due to being impaired by the lack of sleep.

This is excellent advice and something I definitely need to look into. You pretty much described him: walking zombie, low motivation. Thank you thank you!

 

[rodgerdodger]

I must say from 8 am to 8 or 9 pm I stink. I work in construction theres no way around it. I do shower every day before i go to bed. I am not with my wife however i ALLWAYS liked to take a shower with her at any time, NOTE for selfish reasons. good luck