Husband is Unhappy

  • Thread starter Thread starter whitetulips
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
40.png
Jen7:
I truly think some of BOTH yours & your husband’s emotions may just be Post-marriage blues (a common thing once the wedding is all over - esp if it took a lot of planning and fanfare to pull off!) But I don’t think counseling could hurt anything. You and your husband sound like you need to get reacquainted in the man-and-wife role.
[/quote]

I agree!

When normal life sets in, after such an emotional high, it takes time to adjust.

It doesnt mean he needs a doctor. But couples counseling should not be something to be afraid of.

I would highly recommend Catholic Charities, or somewhere faith based, that can offer resources after some time communicating.

Let him know it doesnt mean he is doing something wrong. But that you love him and want to get through whatever is happening together!
 
Rau said:
40.png
whitetulips:
I’ve been thinking about it for a while, as I’m crying intensely most nights, maybe multiple times, about how things are…
Click to expand...
Where is your husband at these times and what his reaction to all your crying?
Click to expand...
Sometimes he sees it and we talk about it. Sometimes he reacts well, other times it’s made him feel like he’s a failure as a husband. Probably more times than not he doesn’t see it-I’m just in our bedroom when he’s in the living room or it happens when I get ready for bed or am going to sleep and he’s still awake in another room.
 
Last edited:
Rau said:
40.png
whitetulips:
Sometimes he sees it and we talk about it.
Click to expand...
:thinking:If my wife were crying intensely every night, and the cause was as you’d outlined, I’d be rather more concerned than your husband appears to be…
Click to expand...
He doesn’t know I cry most days about it. He knows it’s been pretty often but not that often. I don’t really want him to know because that just seems to make him feel bad and stressed out a lot of the time and kind of start a cycle of him being stressed out again and feeling bad about himself. And he often gets migraines when he’s stressed so that aspect just makes it worse.
I am looking into counseling though so if I do decide on going forward with it he’ll know of course.
 
Last edited:
I would strongly suggest reading the Five Love Languages and discussing it with your husband to make sure you’re doing things that your husband actually wants/appreciates.

It’s really easy to accidentally do things for others that we would want people to do for us but that they don’t want!
 
Xantippe said:
I would strongly suggest reading the Five Love Languages and discussing it with your husband to make sure you’re doing things that your husband actually wants/appreciates.

It’s really easy to accidentally do things for others that we would want people to do for us but that they don’t want!
Click to expand...
That’s a good idea thank you! We talked about it when we were dating and in marriage prep, but his changed from when we were dating to when we were engaged, so who knows maybe they changed again haha.
 
TheLittleLady said:
You mentioned before that your husband is an introvert. We introverts NEED our alone time. Especially if his job means interacting with people all day, he may just need a couple hours to decompress when he comes home. Can you find something you can do together in the evening that you can do side by side? Maybe play a video game together while supper is cooking? Or sit next to him and read a book or watch a show?

Counseling is an excellent idea, for an extrovert from what sounds like an extroverted family to marry an introvert is going to be some culture shock!!
Click to expand...
Just want to say thank you so much for this advice! I’ve been making time to just sit on the couch with him while he watches a show or something, and even just doing that for a few days seems to have made a bit of an impact for both of us. Then we’re getting to chat during it and connect a bit more. I think I’m realizing I’ve been too concerned about coming home from work and getting stuff done around the house rather than taking some of that time to just sit together and spend time watching something or whatever like we used to when we were dating and engaged. So thank you!
 
Last edited:
Someone once said that the deepest relationships are those when you can sit side by side and “do nothing” together 🙂
 
Jen7 said:
So glad to hear things are looking up!! Keep it up!!
Click to expand...
Thank you!! Today he said, “Thanks for being great” and that meant a ton to me. Honestly I don’t think I had received a compliment in months from him. He would say “I love you” still but he used to say other affirmations and hadn’t done that in quite a while. So that felt like quite a step in the right direction.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top