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Lapsed
Guest
As much as I resemble that remark, you can come and wipe the coffee of my monitor, thank you very much.
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pittsburghjeff
Guest
You have touched on a great pet peeve of mine. If I ever became Pope (wonât happen) my first act would be to get rid of the sign of peace.
Apart from liturgical issues, my primary reason for despising it (yes despise) is for germ reasons.
I have three ways I have been dealing with it.
My favorite trick is to hold my eight-month-old with both hands during the sign of peace and use that as an excuse not to shake anyones hand. That usually works but some people try to grab my hand anyway, or worse yet grab his. My wife has caught onto my trick however and sometimes she insists on hold him (for the same reason I think). I canât wait to have a second child so we both have a baby to hold.
My other trick is to put hand sanitizer in his diaper bag and apply it to my hands before and after the sign of peace to my hands. Itâs a bit akward but it does the trick.
My last choice is to wait till after communion and then go straight to the restroom to wash my hands and then reenter for the rest of mass.
As you can imagine, all of this distracts me from my prayers during mass. I have even entertained the thought of attending the approved Tridentine mass in our diocese where they donât do the sign of peace.
I do have liturgical reasons to not like the sign of peace in the middle of the eucharistic prayer, but I defer to Rome on those matters. My biggest problem is all the disease spreading that goes on. It is akward not to shake hands whether you are the one who is sick or the one who is trying to avoid getting sick. As soon as you turn around to tell someone that you are sick or to offer them an alternative sign of peace (a wave works nice), they are already sticking their hand out for you to shake.
OK enough of my rant!
Apart from liturgical issues, my primary reason for despising it (yes despise) is for germ reasons.
I have three ways I have been dealing with it.
My favorite trick is to hold my eight-month-old with both hands during the sign of peace and use that as an excuse not to shake anyones hand. That usually works but some people try to grab my hand anyway, or worse yet grab his. My wife has caught onto my trick however and sometimes she insists on hold him (for the same reason I think). I canât wait to have a second child so we both have a baby to hold.
My other trick is to put hand sanitizer in his diaper bag and apply it to my hands before and after the sign of peace to my hands. Itâs a bit akward but it does the trick.
My last choice is to wait till after communion and then go straight to the restroom to wash my hands and then reenter for the rest of mass.
As you can imagine, all of this distracts me from my prayers during mass. I have even entertained the thought of attending the approved Tridentine mass in our diocese where they donât do the sign of peace.
I do have liturgical reasons to not like the sign of peace in the middle of the eucharistic prayer, but I defer to Rome on those matters. My biggest problem is all the disease spreading that goes on. It is akward not to shake hands whether you are the one who is sick or the one who is trying to avoid getting sick. As soon as you turn around to tell someone that you are sick or to offer them an alternative sign of peace (a wave works nice), they are already sticking their hand out for you to shake.
OK enough of my rant!
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shannin
Guest
Shame on you Seabird. Itâs not your job to apologize for other peopleâs behavior during Mass :tsktsk:
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Chovy
Guest
Iâm with you Pittsburgh Jeff- I canât stand shaking the hands at church. My reasons are partially because of germs and partially because I just donât like touching strangers. I donât like pews that are open on the end or when Iâm settled in my pew and some latecomer slides in next to me.
At the parish we belong to, it isnât a problem because I know everybody. But when weâre on the road or going to the less-traditional-so-I-donât-like-it church 6 blocks from our house, it gives me the eeby jeebies. Normally, I just push through the sign of peace but I canât tell you how much I savored the time last winter when influenza was prevalent and our Archdiocese put a moratorium on handshaking.
At the parish we belong to, it isnât a problem because I know everybody. But when weâre on the road or going to the less-traditional-so-I-donât-like-it church 6 blocks from our house, it gives me the eeby jeebies. Normally, I just push through the sign of peace but I canât tell you how much I savored the time last winter when influenza was prevalent and our Archdiocese put a moratorium on handshaking.
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whiteyacht
Guest
I wondered when someone would mention this!
Just go to an indult Tridentine Mass, if you have one nearby. Technically, that rite has the Sign of Peace, but it is only exchanged verbally between the priest and the people, and then Mass continues.
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BLB_Oregon
Guest
Well, letâs hope the rest of the world sees the humor of us, too!As much as I resemble that remark, you can come and wipe the coffee of my monitor, thank you very much.
Sorry about the monitor. Hope the spray didnât go down into the keyboard, too.
Fair enough. But thatâs allowed, too⌠so if anyone asks, she could say, âActually, I checked it out and the sign of peace doesnât need to be a handshake. I donât know about you, but I did not know that. Anyway, Bob would rather nod and give his sign of peace verbally. If the bishops are okay with that, who am I to argue?â
At any rate, I hope she will be relieved that she doesnât have to invent any more respiratory diseases for him. If people decide to form a prayer group for him, sheâll *really *be embarrassed.
Another take-home message Iâm getting from this thread. People have some very strong feelings about the sign of Peace. Of course, we naturally want to welcome all as we would welcome Christ. That is the whole point of the ritual. Hospitality would say that we fall over ourselves to accomodate others whenever we can. Whatever they want to do (or, more importantly, do not want to do), keep the peace and just go with it!
I mean, really, wouldnât it be a shame if someone who is otherwise quite comfortable just where they are felt driven to go to a indult Mass because they couldnât stand to be assaulted by our ritual of mutual hospitality? Oy, vey!
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Lillith
Guest
You donât have to shake hands during the sign of peace! HoweverâŚ
I live in the southâŚwhere the shaking of hands happens on a daily basis. When I go to the grocery store and see friends that I havenât seen in a long while (mostly hugs for the womenâŚhandshakes for the men)âŚmy H shakes about ten to twenty hands a day during work. At our Parsh the handshaking during peace is way out of controlâŚstretching is not warrented. I shake hands to my sides and front PeriodâŚsome people are taking it too farâŚbut it is in the southern culture.
If you are worried about germsâŚthat is understandableâŚWhen I have a cold I skip this processâŚand that should be the least everyone should do! Hopefully contagious people are considerateâŚthat goes for drinking the precious Blood of course also!
If your a germ freak know thisâŚGerms do not live long outside the body at allâŚjust minutes really. Instruct your children not to touch their mouths or their noses after shaking handsâŚof course they shouldnât be during mass anywayâŚbut in this Southern atmosphereâŚwhere it is considered Polite socially and we train our children to shake hands when meeting people at all timesâŚI have explained this fact to themâŚ
I live in the southâŚwhere the shaking of hands happens on a daily basis. When I go to the grocery store and see friends that I havenât seen in a long while (mostly hugs for the womenâŚhandshakes for the men)âŚmy H shakes about ten to twenty hands a day during work. At our Parsh the handshaking during peace is way out of controlâŚstretching is not warrented. I shake hands to my sides and front PeriodâŚsome people are taking it too farâŚbut it is in the southern culture.
If you are worried about germsâŚthat is understandableâŚWhen I have a cold I skip this processâŚand that should be the least everyone should do! Hopefully contagious people are considerateâŚthat goes for drinking the precious Blood of course also!
If your a germ freak know thisâŚGerms do not live long outside the body at allâŚjust minutes really. Instruct your children not to touch their mouths or their noses after shaking handsâŚof course they shouldnât be during mass anywayâŚbut in this Southern atmosphereâŚwhere it is considered Polite socially and we train our children to shake hands when meeting people at all timesâŚI have explained this fact to themâŚ
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fix
Guest
I know this may be off topic, but it as occured to me that perhaps the reason some Catholics dislike the exchange of peace is because it seems awkward to include in the mass and particularly at that point in the mass. I think I understand the significance,but I also think I understand why so many do not like it. It is optional for the priest to include it. How it is practiced should not be so regulated that someone gets offended because they would rather nod than shake a hand. That all these factors are out there should give us all reason to wonder if it is really helpful or more of a hinderance to proper worship?
This part of your post I fail to grasp. Why is the indult mass any less perfect than any other mass? Perhaps that folks seek it out should be a message that hand shaking should not be formalized into the mass?
Finally, I want to repeat what I said earlier that I would guess many of us shake hands, yet fail to properly focus on the rest of the mass. If I could vote I would vote that part be left out of the mass.
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Marilena
Guest
I also prefer not to shake hands in church. But, I do it anyways.
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Michael038
Guest
I encounter this alot at daily Mass. the elderly generally wont shake my hand, probablly because they are ill. some are just afraid of germs which I understand. A wave gesture can accomplish a sign of peace as well. The Priest does say some sign of peace, that doesnt really require a handshake. I personally prefer to shake.
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vluvski
Guest
I recently discovered that one of my coworkers attends Mass weekly, but has âboycottedâ receiving the Eucharist since Vatican II in protest of shaking hands during the sign of peace.
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BLB_Oregon
Guest
Oh, my comment on the indult Mass had nothing to do with its perfection. I meant to say that if the standard Mass is a good fit for somebody, it would be a bit of a shame if they felt they needed to choose the indult for no other reason than a lack of hospitality in the sign of Peace. In other words, Iâd like to think people positively choose the indult because they are moved by the beauty of its entirety, rather than that they feel driven to it by a single isolated and unnecessary problem they might have with the other Mass.
As for the sign of peace, I have the other problem⌠I think it is a shame to go to Mass and not have the recognition that it is a communal event. Yes, it is distressing to think that those âHey, good to see you!â exchanges might be ignoring the solemnity of a real-time experience of the Pascal Mystery (would anybody be thinking about clothes or their social life if they were on Calvary, on the road to Emmaus, or in the upper room at Pentecost?!?) It is also a little unsettling to run into something that comes across as the âHey, Iâm here to be with Jesus, so you can kindly stay clear, if you donât mindâ mindset. We canât read hearts, but weâd like the ritual to stay on message.
That doesnât mean there has to be a sign of Peace for a Mass to have a mindset that truly and solemnly recognizes that plain old Bob is not merely channelling Christ, but is himself a new man, a precious beloved of God, a member of the Body of Christ. It can be there merely by the way people regard you when your eyes meet. Still, I donât find the sign of peace distracting at all. As we are entering into a communal meal, it seems absolutely right to lovingly greet Christ beside us, in whatever disguise we find Him. But I see your point. Abuses at the sign of peace might be very distracting.
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Rob_s_Wife
Guest
I really doubt thatâs the real reason. Sounds more like he was just looking for an excuse, a lame one at that.
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fix
Guest
I cannot simply dismiss your points as I think they have merit; however, do you not think it is interesting that we even have to have this discussion that basically dissects the mass and others intentions? Can we not say that there is some problem that goes deeper? I mean that we even debate what others are thinking, or how any of it relates to Christ kind of says to me there is a problem and that problem is partly we have a mass that is not well understood, prone to innovation and âabuseâ and a good number are distressed to some degree.
The answer does not seem to be simply better education as there is confusion as to what education in this matter actually means as your definition of active and conscious participation may differ from someone else. I know I am off topic, I just want to try and convey shaking hands in the mass means much more to many folks then we really understand.
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BLB_Oregon
Guest
Weâre having the discussion, I think, because we thought we knew what it all meant and what other people were thinking, only to find out that people whose devotion we regard very highly have an entirely different experience!
You are right. The answer is not necessarily that we should be experiencing more or only that we need to learn more. As important as it is to foster an ongoing education and reflection on the Mass, Mass means moreârather, it *is *moreâthan what one person can possibly appreciate at the time. Otherwise, instead of people arriving late and leaving early, the depth of experience would be such that youâd have people passing out from the emotional exhaustion. It would be looking straight at the sun, times a thousand. Times ten thousand.
Isnât what we actually experience to be expected, though? We go to Mass, members of one Body. Iâm an ear, youâre an eye, another person is a mouth. We all bring something different. If we lose a sense of that, I could start wondering why everyone is acting as if they donât hear a thing, you could wonder why weâre all so blind, the third person could wonder why only his lips are moving.
But if we keep in mind that Mass more to me than what I bring to it, we share in the intended sacrifice, in the intended redemptive nourishment and healing, through our joining with each other. With Christ as our head, we offer the Mass as one, and we are healed and fed as one.
Now, if the sign of peace deflects from our sense of that, rather than enhancing that or magnifying it, it may prove to be culturally inappropriate. I donât know. I would hate to see it go, but if it were deleted, I would not be grabbing hands on my own. If Mass is going to be a shared event, a foretaste of Heaven, we have to have a willingness to submit to whatever form comes to us on any given occasion. As long as a Mass is licit, Iâm willing to sacrifice what I would like for that which those with the responsibility have discerned that the Body needs.
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Faithdancer
Guest
Actually, (answering this post from the past) that is technically assault.Ever think that some of us just donât like to touch othersâŚ?
I donât shake hands, touch, hug or have any physical contact with other people if I can get away with it. It just makes me uncomfortable. I do the âslight bowâ routine unless its a very close friend or a member of my family. I donât see a problem with it.
On a side noteâŚwhat the heck is wrong with the people who try to âsnatchâ my hand for the our father. It ticks me off to no end when someone I donât know tries to grab my hand when iâm praying (traditional folded hands)âŚ
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Greg_N
Guest
lol, did you just say someone trying to grab your hand for the âOur Fatherâ is âtechnically assaultâ?
Personally I think the whole, holding hands/arms out-stretched for the âOur Fatherâ is kind of self-absorbed more than anything⌠seems like a corny protestant thing to me.
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LightBound
Guest
The âpastâ is definitely right⌠this thread is over 6 years old and the last time the OP was on the forum was 4 years ago. Members are requested not to resurrect old threads and on here, one that is 6 years old is ancient! Start a new thread the next time .
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