Husband's addiction to pornography is devastating

[Debora123]

No. What I said is accurate down to the last detail.

I didn’t say they are showing up dressed like strippers. I said “women with deep cut blouses, exposing their breasts to the line of just above the nipple, coming up for communion and practically pushing their breasts into the priest’s face, as they stand right in front of him.” And the reality is even worse than that. The reality is bridesmaids having nipple slips in front of the altar as the wedding parties are arranging themselves for having their photographs taken, women having nipple slips while bending forward at the sign of the peace, and women wearing the anatomically shortest possible shorts and miniskirts in church. I live in the Miami metro area, I attend 6 different churches (geographical and time schedule reasons), and anywhere from 20% to 50+% of women are always dressed objectively inappropriately (there’s no way they would be admitted into the churches of Vatican, Rome, Italy), women of all age groups from 10-y.o. pre-teenagers to 70-y.o. grandmas. The one exception is Gesu church in the downtown business district where inappropriate and scandalous attire is less frequent (but I can’t always go to Gesu church).

P.S. And then we shouldn’t be surprised and feel betrayed that priests like Fr. Alberto Cutie end up having affairs and leaving the Church to get married. Fr. Alberto Cutie’s parish church had some of the worst offenders of modesty, attending.

Sir, if you can tell where someone’s “nipple line” is and all these little details you describe so vividly, you are paying waaayyyy too much attention, quite frankly.

 

[L_piperatus]

There’s a little bit more to it than “not meeting expectations.” We all learn things about our spouses personalities, character, etc. that we didn’t know before marriage. And those things change over time. It’s not like you can have a checklist and if she turns out to not have met every little precondition you can say “Well I didn’t know that! Annulment please!”

I mean, what if I just liked blondes and won’t marry a non-blonde? Then I get married and a few years down the line my wife dyes her hair brown, decides she prefers it and won’t change it? Can I just go line up for my decree of nullity?

A hidden history of violence? Yes, there is a reason for an annulment because no one in his or her right mind would marry someone that they know may likely cause physical harm to family members.

Personally I think it’s wise to get relationship and/or sexual history (if any) out in the open before marriage. My wife and I certainly did. But I’m not going to pass judgment on people who keep it a bit closer to the vest.

Yes, pre-conditions that can make a marriage invalid if not met can be set regarding major things that could gravely disturb the marriage, but not on minor stuff like “I don’t want you to dye your hair brown”. I guess regular porn use is major stuff - one should have the right to say to a person they are dating, “I insist on marrying only someone who is not a porn user”.