Husbands and their Man Caves

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I’m just curious about what other people think about a husband having a man cave. A couple years ago, when I took pre-cana classes, the couple teaching these classes had given us a private class. They mentioned during this session that maybe sometimes my husband, then fiancé, will want to retreat to his man cave or something to have alone time and recharge. I told that I’m probably going to be the one needing recharging. I’m an introvert which basically means that in order for me to recharge I need to have some alone time otherwise I become completely drained and end up with a severe migraine. The teaching couple seemed to look at me like this was strange for a woman to say. I just think that it’s a bit unfair that men can have or are expected to have a man cave or something. Maybe the wife would like some alone time too.

I have seen on some of these forums how harsh people can get with their opinions, so please let us keep this forum light and keep with the loving Catholic attitude. Thanks!
 
No mancaves in this house. No judgement if that’s your setup. The closest to privacy one can get around here is being deliberately alone in the car. There is no love lost between me an whoever decided the door to my bathroom should be a lockless accordian style door.

Legit mancaves or wo-mancaves seem like something for a large house. As our family grows we just have to learn to identify and accomodate people’s need for alone time in other ways. The kids don’t have their own rooms. Sorry kids, we know you’re all in bunkbeds right now but mom and dad need caves! 😆
 
My husband doesn’t have a man cave as we can’t afford for him to have one, but even if we had the money, he still would not have one. A couple friends of mine say their husbands have caves. I was just curious about what other people thought about these, especially women’s thoughts on these.
 
It depends on the definition. My DH has a workshop in the basement – it’s certainly not off-limits to me, but I have little interest spending time there. I have a studio upstairs – ditto for him. The spaces are more about the activities that occur there rather than a need for privacy. But some creative efforts do involve solitude, and those spaces work for us. YMMV.
 
I think it’s important for each spouse to have an opportunity to recharge. It may be a space in the home or not. We do have a space in our basement where my husband keeps his sports memorabilia, but it’s more of a “rec room” than a “mancave.” It’s for the whole family.

My impression reading your OP is that the presenting couple may have just been trying to be light-hearted or make a joke.
 
Every human being needs time to retreat (Jesus went away from the crowds to recharge and pray).

Some people go to a garden, some to a room in the house, others curl up with a good novel. We all need, and deserve, time away.
 
Some setups could require a home office. Some temperments could result in it just working for their family. Some things called mancaves are really more like closed off entertainment space where you could have friends over without being smack in the middle of family life. That would come in handy later when I’m trying desperately to have my house be welcoming to my kids’ friends.
 
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I guess it would be termed that I have a mancave in our basement, basically I have the downstairs living room and probably technically the game room.

I don’t see it as a big deal. The most time I spend down there is after my wife and kids fall asleep, maybe have a beer or 3 and watch west coast hockey or football games.
 
Its good for husbands and wives to have some alone time. Hopefully during those times we are reflecting, resting, praying. I dont like the suggestive nature of the term “man cave”. In my thinking it reduces the identity of man to a wild out of control…whatever description. Kind of hard to convey sentiment on here, by all means this isnt a complete set of my thoughts. Peace be with all
 
We don’t have a “man cave” because right now we are renting, but I wish we did. I think both spouses need some time to themselves, and it’s hard to get that in a small place with kids especially. I do think it’s kind of weird that the focus is on men needing time to themselves, because women do too.

Once we buy a home, I’m hoping that it has some kind of additional space, more like an extra family room. My husband jokes about wanting a man-cave, and I tell him that would be great because then the rest of the house is mine!
 
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I prefer to call it a Study 📖🧐
 
Very nice. I would agree. I have a study also. Peace be with you
 
It sounds like whether or not they have designated space, everyone acknowleges that alone time is a need regardless of gender. I tried to set up a sort of family shrine/prayer space, but due to our limited square footage it was outside and the lawnmen wrecked it.

Hypothetically, if someone did abide by a strict mancave or womancave type of arrangement a la Little Rascals He-man Woman Haters club…how would that space make you feel when your spouse passed away? This is the room I wasn’t allowed in where he spent countless hours. This is the room I spent hours In apart from him.
 
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We have equality of the sexes in our house. There is no space for anyone to have a “cave”. We can’t even have privacy in the shower! We have our whole morning and evening commutes to be alone. That’s about it.
 
HorsesForever said:
I just think that it’s a bit unfair that men can have or are expected to have a man cave or something. Maybe the wife would like some alone time too.
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I think the idea is that the woman has the entire rest of the house as “hers” and he as the man cave. That’s a stereotype.

My husband doesn’t have a “man cave” and I don’t have a “woman cave”. We have a house with no identified spaces as his or hers.

If we want alone time, we go into a room by ourselves.

Or he goes outside to the garage, shed, barn, gets on the tractor (we have a farm) or whatever.
 
Like 1ke said, usually the thought is that the woman controls the rest of the house and the man gets to have one little room to himself to decorate and fill with his manly things. Which is an off-putting idea, at least to me.

If we were millionaires and could actually afford a house that would have enough space for that, I would want a room to use as a craft room and he would probably want a room to use as a library/office/reading nook. But I like how we are always together in our home. Otherwise I’d feel lonely sitting in one room by myself.
 
Yeah, I always thought the concept of the “man cave” wasn’t supposed to be a place where men went to be alone, but the desolate corner of the home where they were allowed to hang up their ugly stuff. For example, my husband’s enormous 3 Stooges poster, which was sent to the basement where I don’t have to look at it.
 
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