There’s nothing new here and there’s nothing that should upset any wife or husband. Everyone needs alone time, including husbands and wives (and moms, dads, and yes, even children!).
A wise couple will encourage each other to spend time apart from each other doing things that they enjoy and find relaxing and restorative, and they will work on balancing this “alone time” with time spent together raising their children, maintaining their home, practicing healthy habits (e.g., workouts), and of course, hopefully, working on their relationship with God in and out of church. This isn’t about what’s “fair.” It’s just normal, healthy, married life.
I’m over 60, and waaaay back when I was little, my dad had his “space”–the garage and a workroom in the basement, where he would do various chores and occasionally crafty carpentry projects (e.g., birdfeeders). Sometimes he had friends drop by and they would go to the garage, open the hood of the family car, and stare into it together while they talked about various topics.
Meanwhile my mother had her “space,” too–the kitchen and the kitchen table, where she would cook and read (she loved doing both of those things). She also spent a lot of time in her garden, and sometimes she would take a walk around the block.
Even way waaaay back in time, my grandma and grandpa had their own “spaces”–Grandpa would sit on the front porch with his cats and take a nap, and Grandma would go out to her garden or sit in the living room reading her church paper or her Bible.
The OP described migraines–I encourage the OP to discuss these with her husband and perhaps if necessary, even bring him along to her doctor so that the doctor can reinforce her description of migraine headaches. A lot of people think migraines are just a slightly-worse-than-normal headache (like Gladys Kravitz and her “sick headaches” on the old TV show “Bewitched”), and that’s just not so at all! Migraines are horrible and debilitating and the sufferer often needs to be alone in the dark with no noise. The OP needs to make sure that her husband understands all this and is completely, without any reservations or skepticism, on board with her need to avoid situations that could bring on a migraine.
But at the same time, the OP needs to recognize her husband’s need to have some alone time working on greasy home projects or watching/playing sports or praying a Rosary.
It’s all OK.
And I encourage the OP to just come right out and ask the marriage teachers about their reactions. Why make assumptions about “looking at me like this was strange…”? Just ask them why they’re looking at you that way. They are trying to help you have a strong marriage, so take advantage of their expertise and ask. It’s a good way to learn!
Happy marriage to the OP!
Personal space? Yes, of course we can have this. I have a room I use for tailoring as we have no children yet and my husband simply grabs his laptop and a book if he likes.
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