Hypothetical: Let's say your adult daughter invites over her boyfriend. What are you looking for as a parent?

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Men seem to do a 2-second eye-ball assessment establishing which one is the alpha male. Do not establish yourself as the alpha male with her dad. Keep your eyes gentle, raise your eyebrows, but DO look him in the eye. Dress respectfully. Be kind, be vulnerable. That’s all you can do, really.
 
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Did he bring the right wine? If he brings Merlot, he is dead to me.
 
I would accept a non catholic SIL if he was respectful, motivated, and selfless and was willing to take on the challenge.

I’d much prefer that to a self centered, egotistical Catholic man.

The way I see it…if you want your children to marry Catholic…you need to set them up for success.
We sacrifice a lot to send our girls to a very good Catholic school. We know the families of the kids they play with.
It’s funny…my four year old daughter is in a preschool class with a little boy she’s smitten with.
He likes her too. He comes from a wonderful Catholic family and the two of them will be in the same class through 8th grade and most of highschool as well.
It would be great if they truly hit it off and got married later…then I can be obnoxious and make collages of all of their pictures together as 4 and 5 year olds.

But I’m realistic and know this is still a long shot at best.
 
Right…you might have “a say”, but when it comes to adults…it probably won’t get you anywhere…besides out of the lives of your daughter…son-in-law and grandchildren…
 
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Well, sure, you’d have an opinion. But “say” implies you have some actual right to influence the decision.
 
Is he a practicing Catholic?
Does he treat her with respect?
Does he have a good, steady job?
Is he polite and kind?
Does he present himself well (ie not sloppy in dress, manners, appearance)?
Do they seem appear comfortable around each other?
Does he come from a stable family background?

If he fails any of these, I get out the shotgun (just kidding).
 
Are you from the South, @tafan2? My maternal grandfather used to use that expression (about getting out the shotgun).

Thanks for bringing back happy memories.
 
I would tell any prospective son in law, who was not Catholic and asked for my daughter’s hand in marraige that he must agree to openly study the Catholic faith with the possibility of converting in mind. And I would stress that they only had my blessing if he agrees to live their married life according to Catholic teaching.
 
Except not really. At least, not according to the teachings of the Church. The decision about who to marry rests solely with each person.
 
And if he wasn’t interested in converting?

These opinions are quite interesting (and in some cases confusing/troubling) to me as someone who is the non-Catholic spouse in a “mixed” marriage.
 
Good heavens – why would he be asking you for your daughter’s hand? Shouldn’t he be proposing to her?
 
Some people are into the old school courting thing still

I know. Shudders
 
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