I’m 20 she’s 42

  • Thread starter Thread starter thome600
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Elf01 said:
Indeed, marry young and have lots of children is not Catholic teaching, despite the fact that many Catholics seem to think it is.
Click to expand...
We don’t necessarily think its Catholic teaching as much as its just a good idea 🙂
 
Lea101 said:
Also, I would rather get married in my 30s with a really good man than settle in my 20s. Or marry later when I’m mentally healthy than when I’m young and immature. Of course, it’s important to be aware of your chances of having kids but the pressure to marry young because of fertility imo is silly
Click to expand...
To be clear, I don’t advocate that anyone rush into marriage or marry someone they otherwise would not have because their clock is ticking. I married when well into my 30s myself. I am glad I waited for my husband.
Elf01 said:
Indeed, marry young and have lots of children is not Catholic teaching, despite the fact that many Catholics seem to think it is. It is much more important to marry a person you can stay with for life and if children come - great. If they don’t they don’t.
Click to expand...
I agree with all this, except maybe the wording of the last sentence. But many people get blindsided by infertility because it never occurred to them that it could happen to them, or they never realized how difficult the experience would be if it did (and it can happen to couples in their 20s as well as 30s and 40s, of course). It is in no way an impediment to marriage or anything like that, but it is something to think about and talk over before marriage, unless both parties are truly neutral on whether or not they want children (which is rare).
 
Last edited:
Openness to having children is required for marriage. A desire to have them is not. Infertility, or potential infertility, is not an impediment to marriage.
 
Sarcelle said:
There is nothing in Catholic teaching about getting married as early as possible and having lots and lots of kids. This is not required to be a Catholic.
Click to expand...
I know that.

Certainly it seems to be encouraged though - either explicitly or implicitly.
 
That doesn’t mean they want kids.

Certainly two 60 year olds getting married aren’t looking forward to having kids when they marry.

Accepting isn’t the same as wanting.
 
Last edited:
Sarcelle said:
40.png
tafan2:
A 40 year old can see a 28 year old. A 50 year old can see a 33 year old.
Click to expand...
Ewww

That’s just creepy.

When I was younger, I always found much older men taking an interest in me to be creepy.

Now that I am older, I find much younger men taking an interest in me to be just as creepy.
Click to expand...
That’s the correlation indicated in wikipedia (not that it matters, at all…)

Thing is this @Sarcelle, 2 human beings have their God given freedom to decide what they want out of life. Regardless of age: “I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”

Those are the vows.

Is there a difference in life experience? Probably…But if they both know what they want and what they are getting into?? What if their wills coincide ?? Are we supposed to judge them?? It’s up to them to know what they want !!

Hey @Sarcelle, how about the doctrine on conversion?? There’s no set date or age for conversion !! The best guarantee for a successful marriage is that both betrothed are fully conscious of what it means… So we should be humbled, looking back on our mistakes and sins, our naivete and infidelity…And rejoice for a couple that finds happiness.
 
Last edited:
Question, why does that matter? The OP said nothing about wanting children.
 
And yet they don’t have to have such a desire even under old fashion Catholic teaching.
 
But it’s not uncommon for young Catholics to have that desire. I don’t think that is news to anybody.
 
This entire thread is a puzzle to me.

I certainly understand that there are some issues with having children when a parent is in their forties, and these issues should be discussed. That is what adults do though. Adults discuss these type of things. Both of these people are adults. A relationship like this breaks no moral or church law.

What really is the threat to people here on a personal level that people are so concerned about. What am I missing?
 
I don’t detect any threats. The OP is young, only 20 years old. I doubt he has thought of each and every point that has been brought up in this thread. People with more life experience are trying to help out. Seems like a good thing to do.
 
snarflemike said:
I doubt he has thought of each and every point that has been brought up in this thread. People with more life experience are trying to help out. Seems like a good thing to do.
Click to expand...
Yes, I have no problem with this in and of itself, but some of the comments go way beyond this.
 
The post was edited. She previously said her FATHER had her mother at 45.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top