I’m 20 she’s 42

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Tis_Bearself said:
Several of us have posted that it is not a particularly “strange” situation and happens reasonably often.
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Strange based on statistics/trends about relationships and attraction. One doesn’t have to be a statistician to even realise that age gaps like is a minority. Since it’s clear that people tend to not read through before judging, I’ve said there are times when such situations are normal. So I honestly don’t get the condescending tone and the confusion as if you didn’t imply I was nosey or rude for something you wrongfully assumed I was doing (that I wanted him to tell me these answers or at the very least, that I wanted to know these answers).
Tis_Bearself said:
as it is not necessary for you to know all this to respond to his question.
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Tis_Bearself said:
Threads like this just remind me of not only the judgmental nature of society, but the narrow views held by so many. Best to just march to one’s own drummer and not seek the opinion of a crowd.
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Why was this flagged? It’s sound, sober advice.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Threads like this just remind me of not only the judgmental nature of society, but the narrow views held by so many. Best to just march to one’s own drummer and not seek the opinion of a crowd.
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I agree and I’m quite sympathetic to the OP. But if he posts something like this on a forum, he’s bound to get people’s opinions. But I also think it’s good that people bring up concerns, because there are potential obstacles to relationships like this. It will give him things to be mindful of as he potentially begins a relationship.
 
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Seems that more and more people are slotted into “age brackets” and they feel that these brackets truly define a person. One cannot have fellowship with someone outside their own bracket, one cannot have friendship with those in a different bracket and if one cannot have fellowship or friendship, one certainly cannot make a marriage outside that bracket.

It is sad that people are isolating themselves into loneliness.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Seems that more and more people are slotted into “age brackets” and they feel that these brackets truly define a person. One cannot have fellowship with someone outside their own bracket, one cannot have friendship with those in a different bracket and if one cannot have fellowship or friendship, one certainly cannot make a marriage outside that bracket.

It is sad that people are isolating themselves into loneliness.
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I agree so much with this!!
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Several of us have posted that it is not a particularly “strange” situation and happens reasonably often.
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Define “reasonably often”. 10% of relationships? 1%? 0.1%? 0.01%?
It may seem “strange” to those who have not experienced it or seen it. Perhaps you need to expand your view on life rather than become defensive.
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Who the heck is being defensive? Is having an opinion based on one’s own life experience “being defensive”?
 
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  1. Aside from your shared faith, she will have lived through a time period you know little or nothing about. That will create issues.
  2. I was far too stupid at age 20 to marry anyone. I matured after that but financial issues came up.
 
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Whatever. If I refer to 40 year old men as “those guys” that doesn’t mean I’m calling them children. It’s just a colloquial term.
 
I don’t think anyone mentioned this, so I will. You also have to consider how hard having a senior parent will be on children. My dad is 74 and I often worry about him not living to see me get married, graduate pharmacy school, etc. It sucks to think he won’t see his daughter taken care of and knowing that his work is done.
 
Men usually mature later than woman. In my case I don’t think I was really what I would call mature until I was in my late 40s.

You have not been on your first date yet? Sometimes people accept dates just to hang out or to say, I am so flattered but… and that is not a bad way to let someone down. If you were my son, I would advise caution, and she would be on my back porch for a whisky and a one on one talk with me before the second date. If she didn’t agree to that chat at some point soon, I would advise you to see your priest.
 
Most 20 year olds today know little about the 70s and 80s. It was a fair statement.

Oh, I think the OP is long gone. Their are some inconsistencies in his posting history which seem hard to explain. Could be a troll.
 
A 22 year difference is a 22 year difference. 42 and 62 would be less bad since most of life’s issues would have been experienced by both.
 
I still call women either women or the girls. When I was dating, it was always girls. Saying I was dating a woman seemed the wrong way to go.
 
No disrespect, but are you in your 40s? No need to answer, but if not, you should ask a few that you know what it’s like.
 
I work as an editor for a living. I understand the importance of word choices. “adult” does not differentiate between a man or woman. I recall my mother telling a friend about who I was dating. Her response used the word girl. Not young lady, girl.
 
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