I’m 20 she’s 42

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Based on my socio-cultural background, which is European, woman makes me think of my mom. Young lady is the preferred term and it is polite.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Seems that more and more people are slotted into “age brackets” and they feel that these brackets truly define a person.
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As an adult, I really don’t see this happening. I imagine that, what you’re describing, is more common among children in elementary school and teenagers in high school. College and the workforce fundamentally changes that.
TheLittleLady said:
One cannot have fellowship with someone outside their own bracket, one cannot have friendship with those in a different bracket
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Once again, I fail to see this trend among normal adults. I have several friends who’re older than me and a few that are younger.
 
You and I are outside of average in that regard.

These forums are full of people complaining that their parish does not have X number of people “my age”.
 
Question 1 / are you joking? Sorry for being offensive, but of course there is a difference if you marry a woman of 25 or one who will have 44/45 (given the time of dissernment). You will probably not be able to have children.
Apart that, the older one had lived more, had had more previous relationship and does not have the same energy and life’s vision.

Question 2/No, but he can discourage it.
 
thome600 said:
  • What will the difference be between dating a young girl and dating a 42 y/o woman?
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A lot. Life experience. It’s really hard to explain, but those of us in our forties have some inevitable scars and baggage. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing; on the contrary, I see them as proud battle wounds. But as you enter your 20s, you still need to experience life and make and learn from mistakes.

My husband and I were both 20 when me met. I’m glad it was that way. We were able to grow individually without growing apart. We were at the same maturity level and could go through our early adulthood struggles while supporting each other. It’s not that I don’t support the right matches with age differences, but something about your particular case doesn’t pass the sniff test . . .

Here’s what I’m trying to wrap my head around. I’m happily married. But if I were single, I cannot fathom diving into the dating pool and scouting out a 20-year-old guy! I’m sorry to sound harsh, but the motivations for doing so seem either nefarious and self-serving or just psychologically unhealthy.

It’s hard to speculate on your specific case because I don’t know her. A narcissistic and/or insecure personality might use a younger trophy-guy just to feel better about themselves. (“Yipee! I still look young and hot! In your face, Midlife Crisis!”) Or maybe she just hasn’t acquired some much-needed maturity for her age. I realize this is just a first date. But something doesn’t look right from the get-go.

Sorry, man. I just smell a rat with this . . .
 
GiftofMercy said:
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adgloriam:
With empty hands I’ll tell you: THEY ARE CATHOLIC.
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HE says in another thread he is anglican.
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I noticed, he might have converted. We can accept that much on good faith. Some of the Anglicans I’ve met were somewhat fluid. The OP was also researching catholic authors with a degree of depth, a conversion in that time frame isn’t to be excluded.
 
Follow your conscience and speak with a Priest. This could be what God has planned for you ! Only way to find out is go on a few dates and keep praying.
 
He well may have, in 2018 or this year. I am hoping he comes back and lets us know 🙂
 
No. I’m practical. Dating someone 22 years your senior is not normal.
 
I see a lot of biological arguments here. That aside, I think the biggest problem with that large of an age gap is what could you have in common with a person that much older than you. Being friends with older people is fine. I’m friends with many. But I wouldn’t date a woman who is double my age. I think it’s weird when a man dates a woman half his age
 
Sorry I wasn’t clear. I converted t9 the Faith in mid 2018. I was an Anglo-Catholic Anglican before so it wasn’t much of a change. As I said before, I’ve had several conversations with her and we enjoy each others company. She’s very impressed with my knowledge of the Faith and we do have similar interests( theology, the Saints, the situation in the Church, etc ) Most people I’ve encountered have said I’m very mature for my age. I realize that there are potential risks involved, but this is just the beginning ( it’s not as if I’ve committed t9 anything yet) I ask about marriage right off because I firmly believe the purpose of dating is to discern marriage ( she believes this as well)
 
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What God has brought together, man must not split asunder.

How do we know God has not brought them together? That’s the job of their spiritual director and priest to determine.

It’s like saying a white man shouldn’t marry a black woman. Same concept, just age in this case.
 
Le_Crouton said:
That aside, I think the biggest problem with that large of an age gap is what could you have in common with a person that much older than you.
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I think this depends on the people involved. In general, people of similar ages tend to have more in common and are more compatible for a relationship, biologically and otherwise. But I wouldn’t discount anomalies. Sometimes, two people just go well together, even if there is a notable (or in this case substantial) age difference. It’s not the usual, but it sometimes works. That’s for the OP to figure out for himself, hopefully with the help of a spiritual director.
 
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