Then I’m sorry. I speak about 7 languages so I bend my mind around anything I come across.The post was edited. She previously said her FATHER had her mother at 45.
My maternal grandfather was 21 years older than his wife. They had seven children together and were devout catholics all the way to the grave. They were cousins and had to get a dispentsation from the church to be able to marry. The marriage wasn’t accepted by much of the family and when they needed help, they were left alone. One of their children, that is, one of my aunts, has a severe genetically caused disorder caused possibly by that or possibly be their age. Neverthless, they loved this daughter the same as all the others and cared for her until they died. They had a tough life. They never had much money. My grandfather was a sailor and sometimes that meant he was away from the family for longer periods.I’m always sensitive to these types of comments as one of my parents was in their 40’s and much older than my other parent. Yes there is a slight increase in some problems with older parents, but much of that depends on many many other factors including the general health of the parent who is older and other environmental factors.
Most people, including most Catholics, have a serious aversion to any relationship that’s “outside the box” of what they were taught to think of as a “normal” one.What really is the threat to people here on a personal level that people are so concerned about. What am I missing?
I do not think anyone was threatened by the relationship. The OP asked for two questions. One had to do with Church law, which everyone answered accurately. The other was more general as to people’s opinions on such a relationship. Folks answered. Some, myself included, thought it was a bad idea. That in no ways implies any of us feel personally threatened by it. I certainly don’t see why it should puzzle you.What really is the threat to people here on a personal level that people are so concerned about. What am I missing?
This. Of everyone who thinks it’s fine and dandy, they are adults after all, would you not strongly caution your 20 yo son or daughter against a relationship with a 42 yo? I will admit ahead of time, I will have a hard time believing you if you answer no.At your age difference I’d be quite protective if I were one of your parents.
This is so true. I sometimes wish i had known this when I was younger. I payed far too little attention. I grew up in a sheltered and also poor environment and grew up thinking that I had this cheapish suit that I wore at job interviews, funerals and important social functions, and then I had casual stuff that I wore the rest of the time. When I went to Church, I checked my shirt didn’t have any stains or holes and that my shoes were sufficiently shiny. I must have looked a complete nerd on my first date as I wore a checkered shirt and a stripey tie. I never saw that girl again. That’s where my degree of dressing up or down stopped in those days. Many men function like that but many women don’t. I think especially young men don’t see the full scale of the subtelties in the way women present themselves.If she is more modestly and sensibly dressed for your date then that shows she has good intentions in my opinion. And by the way, my fiancée was the one who pointed out to me you should pay close attention to the way she’s dressed for your date. Women communicate with clothing, especially on dates.