I am a failure.

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mike2112

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I am a 20 year old guy and I feel utterly hopeless. I have no friends, and people I meet seem to avoid me. I am socially awkward and a total outcast. Ever since I was 9 or 10 I have felt lonely without anyone to talk to, nor would I even be able to go outside due to my severe social anxiety. I have no social skills, no hobbies, I’m absolutely nothing. My family doesn’t like me nor do they like talking to me. I’m left all alone. I am not attractive by any means and I’ve been hurt by so many people over the years that I have become emotionless. Every day and night my head throbs with mental pain and anguish.
I soak my bed with tears, crying and eventually I have no more tears to shed. I have no personality and I don’t know who I am. I am extremely boring and I make everything seem serious. All I do is sit at home alone resting on a couch or bed. Every single day. I can’t even express how I feel to anyone outside in real life because of my anxiety and chance it could cause more depression. Why am I such a failure? Why did I have to go through unimaginable pain?
God please don’t abandon me. I love God but I have to ask him why can’t I have a normal life and be happy? Why am I such a freak? No one cares about me. I don’t want to die but the pain is crippling and it feels like someone is stabbing my already broken heart.
I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I have been betrayed by everyone - family and others. I don’t understand the point of living… I don’t want to deal with any of this pain anymore…
Lord where are you? I have cried out to you Lord… am I not loved by you? Am I not your child? Am I too much a failure to care about?
Pray for me, because I have nobody.
 
Mike,

God loves us so much, that he chose to die for us…He who needs no one, longs to be with us, he craves our attetion, if we only search him out…

I will pray for you

and some suggestions…
  1. If you have so much time, go to daily mass, and spend time before the Blessed Sacrament. It will change you, just as the sun changes a persons skin, being before the Son, will change you, I promise. Try to spend at least an hour a week before the Blessed Sacrament, let Him speak to you.
  2. Volunteer. Soup kitchens, food banks, homeless shelters, churches, schools, libraries…ther are so many of our brother’s so much worse than us.
  3. Dont despair, and go to confession.
 
Dude,

You are 20 years old. You are still a growing at least to this guy that is in his 30’s. you just need to be mentored right.

Check out these awesome motivational videos. Quite honestly, your youth at the moment,
gives you an opportunity to do what ever you want for yourself. You have a shot to be an alpha male man. But remember Alpha male does not necessarily mean,being Mike Tyson.

check these motivational videos out man.

youtube.com/watch?v=sFtgjAUe7P4

This guy is awesome.
 
You are not a failure by any means. You are in pain. Our Lord knows exactly how you feel. You are His child. He suffered terrible rejections, mental and physical pain during His ministry and Passion. He is rejected still by those who want nothing to do with Him. Turn to God and entrust Him with your pain. Ask Him to fill you with His peace and strength. He will never abandon you.
 
mike2112 said:
I am a 20 year old guy and I feel utterly hopeless. I have no friends, and people I meet seem to avoid me. I am socially awkward and a total outcast. Ever since I was 9 or 10 I have felt lonely without anyone to talk to, nor would I even be able to go outside due to my severe social anxiety. I have no social skills, no hobbies, I’m absolutely nothing. My family doesn’t like me nor do they like talking to me. I’m left all alone. I am not attractive by any means and I’ve been hurt by so many people over the years that I have become emotionless. Every day and night my head throbs with mental pain and anguish.
I soak my bed with tears, crying and eventually I have no more tears to shed. I have no personality and I don’t know who I am. I am extremely boring and I make everything seem serious. All I do is sit at home alone resting on a couch or bed. Every single day. I can’t even express how I feel to anyone outside in real life because of my anxiety and chance it could cause more depression. Why am I such a failure? Why did I have to go through unimaginable pain?
God please don’t abandon me. I love God but I have to ask him why can’t I have a normal life and be happy? Why am I such a freak? No one cares about me. I don’t want to die but the pain is crippling and it feels like someone is stabbing my already broken heart.
I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I have been betrayed by everyone - family and others. I don’t understand the point of living… I don’t want to deal with any of this pain anymore…
Lord where are you? I have cried out to you Lord… am I not loved by you? Am I not your child? Am I too much a failure to care about?
Pray for me, because I have nobody.
Click to expand...
I don’t have anybody, either. I feel like that much of the time. A lot of people on the forum do, actually.

Had you tried counseling or medication for the depression and anxiety?

Also, I know Goodwill works with people with all kinds of conditions, helps them work and such. They have worked with people with Aspbergers and more. Perhaps, if you can’t leave the house, you can call or e-mail them. Maybe there’s a job you could do in your home.

Just a thought.
 
mike2112 said:
I am a 20 year old guy and I feel utterly hopeless. I have no friends, and people I meet seem to avoid me. I am socially awkward and a total outcast. Ever since I was 9 or 10 I have felt lonely without anyone to talk to, nor would I even be able to go outside due to my severe social anxiety. I have no social skills, no hobbies, I’m absolutely nothing. My family doesn’t like me nor do they like talking to me. I’m left all alone. I am not attractive by any means and I’ve been hurt by so many people over the years that I have become emotionless. Every day and night my head throbs with mental pain and anguish.
I soak my bed with tears, crying and eventually I have no more tears to shed. I have no personality and I don’t know who I am. I am extremely boring and I make everything seem serious. All I do is sit at home alone resting on a couch or bed. Every single day. I can’t even express how I feel to anyone outside in real life because of my anxiety and chance it could cause more depression. Why am I such a failure? Why did I have to go through unimaginable pain?
God please don’t abandon me. I love God but I have to ask him why can’t I have a normal life and be happy? Why am I such a freak? No one cares about me. I don’t want to die but the pain is crippling and it feels like someone is stabbing my already broken heart.
I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I have been betrayed by everyone - family and others. I don’t understand the point of living… I don’t want to deal with any of this pain anymore…
Lord where are you? I have cried out to you Lord… am I not loved by you? Am I not your child? Am I too much a failure to care about?
Pray for me, because I have nobody.
Click to expand...
I will also suggest therapy and medication. The therapy could include both individual sessions and group sessions. This will put you in touch with others who will understand where you are. There’s nothing like being among others who know the same kind of pain. As you talk about it, share it, it becomes a bond. Friendships develop. These can become “real world” friendships. By that I mean, friendships with people outside the group. Once you get an handle on things, maybe your family can be more understanding. I know this from my own struggle through mental illness, which includes depression and anxiety. Please, don’t put off getting help.
 
mike2112 said:
I am a 20 year old guy and I feel utterly hopeless. I have no friends, and people I meet seem to avoid me. I am socially awkward and a total outcast. Ever since I was 9 or 10 I have felt lonely without anyone to talk to, nor would I even be able to go outside due to my severe social anxiety. I have no social skills, no hobbies, I’m absolutely nothing. My family doesn’t like me nor do they like talking to me. I’m left all alone. I am not attractive by any means and I’ve been hurt by so many people over the years that I have become emotionless. Every day and night my head throbs with mental pain and anguish.
I soak my bed with tears, crying and eventually I have no more tears to shed. I have no personality and I don’t know who I am. I am extremely boring and I make everything seem serious. All I do is sit at home alone resting on a couch or bed. Every single day. I can’t even express how I feel to anyone outside in real life because of my anxiety and chance it could cause more depression. Why am I such a failure? Why did I have to go through unimaginable pain?
God please don’t abandon me. I love God but I have to ask him why can’t I have a normal life and be happy? Why am I such a freak? No one cares about me. I don’t want to die but the pain is crippling and it feels like someone is stabbing my already broken heart.
I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I have been betrayed by everyone - family and others. I don’t understand the point of living… I don’t want to deal with any of this pain anymore…
Lord where are you? I have cried out to you Lord… am I not loved by you? Am I not your child? Am I too much a failure to care about?
Pray for me, because I have nobody.
Click to expand...
You are not a failure. You are a child of God; made in His image and likeness. He loves you no matter what & He never leaves you. Praying for you. God bless.
 
Hey Mike,
  1. God is with you and Jesus loves you. That is an unquestionable fact.
  2. I’ve been in your position myself, and sometimes it’s felt like army-crawling back to Jesus at times. I can empathize with the depression and most of what you’re saying believe it or not. My greatest recommendation to you would be to Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet while gazing at Jesus in (what I love the most is the original Kazimirowski painting) Divine Mercy Painting. Here’s a good quality photo catholicpreacher.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/kazimirowski-divine-mercy-with-motto.jpg
I keep it as my desktop background as a reminder to pray and also just how much God Loves me.

I wish you the best and will pray for you by name the next time I pray The Chaplet.

-Love
Alex
 
Hi Mike,

You love God.
Then you’re not a failure.
It sounds like you need to find out
what your talents are
so you can share them with the world.

Praying for you!

:blessyou:

…
 
Mike,

Your honesty and pain cuts me to the core. I am very glad that you shared this here, because I’m sure many people who have read this can relate. You are not alone.
I am grateful to God that he has given you a measure of faith. I am praying right now that this faith sustains you and helps you grow.

I’ve been through a rough patch myself, and I’m finding daily Mass, or almost daily Mass is very helpful. ALSO, your purpose, in your pain, might be praying for others here, online!

We’re praying for you!
 
Dear Lord, during this trial,
I offer up to you my confusion
Give me clarity
I offer up to you my despair
Give me hope
I offer up to you my weakness
Give me strength
I offer up to you my pettiness
Give me generosity of spirit.
I offer up to you all my
Negative thoughts from Satan
So that when he asks ‘Where is Your God now?”
I may respond “Right here with me, giving me His grace
As a Heavenly beam of light penetrating your darkness!"
Amen.
 
North_of_Nod said:
You are not a failure by any means. You are in pain. Our Lord knows exactly how you feel. You are His child. He suffered terrible rejections, mental and physical pain during His ministry and Passion. He is rejected still by those who want nothing to do with Him. Turn to God and entrust Him with your pain. Ask Him to fill you with His peace and strength. He will never abandon you.
Click to expand...
Amen! This is good advise. I will pray for you tonight.

My love in Christ,
mlz
 
I want to thank each and every one of you for the heartwarming, compassionate words you have given me. I have read each post over and over again and my doubts have been erased. God is truly with me. I can feel the love of Jesus through every post here.

I was at an absolute low point today, and all my thoughts had to be poured out. I couldn’t contain it in my head like I always do. I hesitated to do this as I didn’t want to burden anyone with any of my pain. I thought that would make me weak. I now know that we all have our own crosses to carry. Everyone has their own story. I am smiling at the moment because you guys have given me hope. Even in the midst of this treacherous storm, I can hope and know that the Lord will carry me through.

Econ101 - thank you kind words and for your prayers. I’m going to do my best to see Jesus more often in the Blessed Sacrament… That’s where I feel safe.

Kount C - thanks for the motivation man. I’m pumped up!

North of Nod - Thank you for the warm words and reminding me that our Lord has experienced mental anguish as well. This tells me He knows what I am going through, and that gives me peace and strength to move on.

XAlexander - I am going to change my wallpaper to that image… the picture of Jesus with His rays of mercy penetrates through my entire being. The Divine Mercy Chaplet has done powerful things for me in the past, I need to make an effort to pray this again. Thank you abundantly for your warm post.

marlap2, tawny, vallancec, Christy Beth, ClearWater, the phoenix, grasscutter, ESTP, mlz - Thank you immensely for your prayers and for sharing your thoughts with me.Your posts help me realize that perhaps we aren’t all alone, even if we have nobody. You all have rejuvenated me and I actually feel a peace within me knowing God has worked through each of you for my sake. I’ve been through some counseling at times but I think I should make an effort to talk about it with people I trust. I’ll make an effort to do so. Keeping you all in my prayers. My family in Christ.

wild thing - My eyes were tearing up after praying this out loud and it related quite a bit to my current situation. I truly want to thank you for sharing this beautiful prayer!
 
mike2112, I know the pain you’re going through. I’m 25 years old and am going to be 26 in a little over a month. I went through some of the things you did so I will keep you in my prayers.
 
mike2112, you have many people here who are thinking about you and praying that things will get better for you (me included). I would really recommend a visit to your doctor to discuss the way you’re feeling, there are a number of practical things he can put in motion to help you. I have suffered from anxiety for the past few years but it’s been much better since I started medication.

You are young, you are single and there are many roads open to you, even if you can’t see them clearly at the moment. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. x
 
the_phoenix said:
Hi Mike,

You love God.
Then you’re not a failure.
…
Click to expand...
wild_thing said:
Dear Lord, during this trial,
I offer up to you my confusion
Give me clarity
I offer up to you my despair
Give me hope
I offer up to you my weakness
Give me strength
I offer up to you my pettiness
Give me generosity of spirit.
I offer up to you all my
Negative thoughts from Satan
So that when he asks ‘Where is Your God now?”
I may respond “Right here with me, giving me His grace
As a Heavenly beam of light penetrating your darkness!"
Amen.
Click to expand...
Joining everyone here in praying for you, Mike; and entrusting you to Our Lord and to Our Blessed Mother. May Our Lord grace you with an awareness of His unique love for you as a special person He created for Himself. If you have God, you have everything you will ever need.
 
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and giving us an opportunity to support you with our prayers and love. Many of us have had some of the feelings you experience some of the time but only a few of us have had the same feelings of absolute rejection in our lives. While I am not sure of many things I am certain that if you try to place this all in the hands of God and pray fervently and patiently, He will take care of you. May God lead and guide you to a place of peace and comfort in your life.

Memorare

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
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