I am a woman and would rather confess my sins to another woman? Yes or No

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This question and poll is published with women in mind.

Without elaborating too much I just want to state how much better I’d feel about confessing my sins to a woman. Sometimes I just want to shrug my shoulders and give up on the business of confessing my sins simply because I’m tired of facing male priests for this matter. These thoughts and feelings are terrible but I can’t help it. Although I wear plain modest clothing and not a drop of makeup or perfume when I confess I can’t help but feel I am wearing a great big W on my forehead and breasts. I feel that if I confessed to another woman she would look at me as another one of her kind – without suspicion – with understanding – with mutual love and kindness. I’ve found myself envying men as they trot in to confess to a ‘buddy’. Anyway – am I alone here?
Yes - I know my expressions won’t be changing anything - ever.
 
Women cannot receive Holy Orders. Women cannot absolve you from your sins. Therefore, it would be pointless to confess to a woman.

Why do you think a priest looks on you with suspicion and without understanding? I don’t understand what you mean by “big W” on your forehead and breasts. Honestly, I don’t get what the problem is with Confession to a priest. If you don’t want to confess face-to-face you can confess behind a screen.
 
1ke’s post is my thought in a nutshell. Find a screen. And a kind confessor, that also helps a great deal, and then stick with him.
 
1ke said:
Honestly, I don’t get what the problem is with Confession to a priest. If you don’t want to confess face-to-face you can confess behind a screen.
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1ke I’m guessing that you are a guy.
I haven’t seen a screen in a confessional in well over a decade.
 
For my part I’m a woman.

I know one, two, three, four, five churches just offhand where you can confess behind a screen. Actually it’s in Canon Law, I believe, that this should be available. If you are too shy to call the parish and request that it become available (I know I am), maybe call your diocese office and ask where you can find a confessional with a screen.
 
In general, I have to admit that I don’t trust other women. I think they tend to be more “catty,” “gossipy,” etc, and I actually feel more comfortable talking to guys in general.
 
Canon law requires a barrier for the sake of both the priest and the person confession. If either one wishes, they do not have to see the other person.
Can. 964 §1. The proper place to hear sacramental confessions is a church or oratory.
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§2. The conference of bishops is to establish norms regarding the confessional; it is to take care, however, that there are always confessionals with a fixed grate between the penitent and the confessor in an open place so that the faithful who wish to can use them freely.
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Beautiful said:
1ke I’m guessing that you are a guy.
I haven’t seen a screen in a confessional in well over a decade.
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You have an absolute right to an effective screen. If your parish does not have one you need to speak with the pastor and, if necessary, the bishop.

JSA+
 
Actually, I would not be nearly as solemn if I were confessing to another woman. Knowing that women have common areas of temptation and weakness (just as men do), I believe I’d be tempted to write off some of the guilt I feel because the other woman “understood” where I was coming from. Does this make any sense?

I much prefer confessing to a man. He doesn’t have to understand why I commit the sins I do, and he’s probably not as likely to start telling me that I’m being too hard on myself. I hate when I get that in a confessional! I mean, I may not have a doctorate in theology, but I do know what the basic sins are, and I feel pretty dang confident that the things I confessed were *real sins! *In the past, when I’ve confided in women, it’s gone this way more often than not, with the other woman ‘comforting’ me and telling me I had good reason to do whatever I did. Of course, this presumes some lack of formation in conscience, and since the female confessor here is hypothetical, I can’t very well presume that.

Still, it seems more cut and dried to me to just go in, tell Father what my sins are, get some spiritual formation, make an act of contrition, get absolution, and go do my penance. I’ve even gotten to where I look forward to reconciliation, because our priest is so kind and considerate, and I know he thinks carefully about what he’s going to say to me.

Plus, since we are really confessing to Christ, it only makes sense to have a male Priest standing in His stead. You know?
 
1ke said:
I am a woman. And, I do not understand what you mean in your post. Perhaps you can explain.

I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t.
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There is nothing to explain other than I was trying to figure out if you were a responding male or female. It is difficult to tell with your user name.

Screen? Again - I haven’t seen one in a decade or more. Someone suggested that I call around for a screened confessional - frankly - I am not about to do that.
 
Beautiful said:
There is nothing to explain other than I was trying to figure out if you were a responding male or female. It is difficult to tell with your user name.
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I meant I didn’t understand what you meant in your original post-- about having a “big W” on your forehead and that the priest looked on you with suspicion.
Beautiful said:
Screen? Again - I haven’t seen one in a decade or more. Someone suggested that I call around for a screened confessional - frankly - I am not about to do that.
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It’s a requirement of Canon Law. You should bring it to someone’s attention if this is being ignored in your parish.
 
1ke said:
I meant I didn’t understand what you meant in your original post-- about having a “big W” on your forehead and that the priest looked on you with suspicion.
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I thought I explained myself well enough in the OP. It would be very nice to confess to my sexual equal. I don’t want to be a ‘W’ confessing my sins to a ‘M’. What if males had to confess to females? What an uproar there would be.
 
I would rather confess my sins to God. When I enter the confessional and tell my sins to a validly ordained priest that is exactly what I am doing. 😃
 
Beautiful said:
There is nothing to explain other than I was trying to figure out if you were a responding male or female. It is difficult to tell with your user name.

Screen? Again - I haven’t seen one in a decade or more. Someone suggested that I call around for a screened confessional - frankly - I am not about to do that.
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I have been in a number of parish’s in my area including the Cathedral. In every single one of them you have the option of going behind the screen or face to face. I would suggest you try another parish.

As far as confession to a women. You might be forgetting about the fact that Jesus Christ, our Savior, was 100% man. When you say you feel uncomfortable confessing to a man than that means you would also feel uncomfortable confessing to Christ our Savior. After all when the priest is in the confessional he is in “the Person of Christ”.
 
Beautiful said:
I thought I explained myself well enough in the OP. It would be very nice to confess to my sexual equal.
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Wow, I didn’t realize men and women were unequal in the Lord. St. Paul tells is we are neither male nor female in Christ.
Beautiful said:
I don’t want to be a ‘W’ confessing my sins to a ‘M’.
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You aren’t. You are a penitent confessing your sins to a priest.
Beautiful said:
What if males had to confess to females? What an uproar there would be.
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Honestly, I find your ideas about men (and women) to be most concerning.

Perhaps it would be best if I exited this thread.
 
Beautiful said:
I thought I explained myself well enough in the OP. It would be very nice to confess to my sexual equal. I don’t want to be a ‘W’ confessing my sins to a ‘M’. What if males had to confess to females? What an uproar there would be.
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I’m a woman as well. I hate to say it, but when I read about the ‘W’ on your forehead, I thought you meant wh@re, not woman. I thought perhaps you had an issue with confessing sexual sins.

My parish has confessionals still, and I love that. I look up to priests, imperfect sinners that they are, because they stand in for Christ in the sacraments. The gender difference doesn’t bother me.

However, I do try to go to women for all of my mental and physical health needs. I like to keep the $$ in the gender.
 
Beautiful said:
This question and poll is published with women in mind.

Without elaborating too much I just want to state how much better I’d feel about confessing my sins to a woman. Sometimes I just want to shrug my shoulders and give up on the business of confessing my sins simply because I’m tired of facing male priests for this matter. These thoughts and feelings are terrible but I can’t help it. Although I wear plain modest clothing and not a drop of makeup or perfume when I confess I can’t help but feel I am wearing a great big W on my forehead and breasts. I feel that if I confessed to another woman she would look at me as another one of her kind – without suspicion – with understanding – with mutual love and kindness. I’ve found myself envying men as they trot in to confess to a ‘buddy’. Anyway – am I alone here?
Yes - I know my expressions won’t be changing anything - ever.
Click to expand...
But how does he possibly see you throught the screen? By the way we Confess our sins to Christ, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
 
I’ve yet to meet a woman who can keep a secret!

Yes, I am a woman, have been one for 4+ decades.

The screen is required to be available, call your Parish and ask about it.
 
Beautiful said:
1ke I’m guessing that you are a guy.
I haven’t seen a screen in a confessional in well over a decade.
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1ke being a man or woman has nothing to do with it. I’m a woman and I completely agree with everything she said.

And you need to look harder, because every church I’ve ever been to has a screen.
 
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