I am a woman and would rather confess my sins to another woman? Yes or No

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I voted that I’d rather confess my sins to a priest even though it can sometimes be difficult (and embarrassing, but people say priests have heard it all).

However, I recall a friend telling me that in the early church people actually did confess their sins to a woman and then receive absolution from the priest. My friend was a graduate student in theology and explained that the woman (I guess she worked for the church-beats me) would hear the person’s sins and give spiritual counsel and then the penitent would be absolved by the priest.

Does anyone know where to research this to see if this is true? If so, then I think the OP is not completely off her rocker.
 
Joya said:
I voted that I’d rather confess my sins to a priest even though it can sometimes be difficult (and embarrassing, but people say priests have heard it all).

However, I recall a friend telling me that in the early church people actually did confess their sins to a woman and then receive absolution from the priest. My friend was a graduate student in theology and explained that the woman (I guess she worked for the church-beats me) would hear the person’s sins and give spiritual counsel and then the penitent would be absolved by the priest.

Does anyone know where to research this to see if this is true? If so, then I think the OP is not completely off her rocker.
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I’d like to know their source for this. My question is when was the priest supposed to have heard the person’s sins so that they would know to absolve them? The priest does not blindly absolve someone from their sins, they need to know what sin they are absolving.

Now I do know that there where deaconesses in the Church whose only real role was to help with the baptism of women.

It’s my understanding that in the early Church confession was done publicly in front of the priest and congregation.

Hopefully someone will chime in that knows more about this subject. 🙂
 
skatepixie said:
In general, I have to admit that I don’t trust other women. I think they tend to be more “catty,” “gossipy,” etc, and I actually feel more comfortable talking to guys in general.
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I’m with you on this. And women are more likely to be “enabling,” forgetting that underlying reasons still aren’t excuses. Besides, in the confessional, I am confessing my sins to Jesus, and He is a man, no matter what the gender of the person on the other side of the screen. Dear OP, if you are not comfortable confessing to your own priest, go to a neighboring parish and confess there. And if neither church has a screen, complain to the bishop. God bless.
 
Sabda said:
I’d like to know their source for this. My question is when was the priest supposed to have heard the person’s sins so that they would know to absolve them? The priest does not blindly absolve someone from their sins, they need to know what sin they are absolving.

Now I do know that there where deaconesses in the Church whose only real role was to help with the baptism of women.

It’s my understanding that in the early Church confession was done publicly in front of the priest and congregation.

Hopefully someone will chime in that knows more about this subject. 🙂
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When my friend was explaining this he said that the woman (or lay person) was working together with the priest, not independently. She would first hear the person’s sins, offer guidance, then the penitent would immediately go to the priest (like in the next room or something) for the absolution.

My friend and I had this discussion many years ago and that’s all I remember what he said. I guess someone would have to do a search on the history of the sacrament of reconciliation.
 
It really doesn’t matter what I think. Women can’t be ordained. So what’s the point?🤷
 
Why the heck would I want to confess to a woman?
And since when are men and priests buddies?

I don’t go to my priest for a friend- I go for Confession, I go for Mass, I go to learn.

Frankly, your question is odd and confusing.
Why should the priest care if you are a woman? Why do you feel the need to dress a certain way for confession?
Heck- I have confessed adultery and witchcraft, and Father’s didn’t even blink and eye.

Do you really think priests even hear what you are saying? More than once, I have had priests tell me that they cannot remember what people say in Confession. Priests are acting “in persona Christi”, not as themselves and not as a buddy.

I suggest that you request a copy of Confession from Reason For Our Hope
 
I understand that there would be a cultural problem with confessing to a man(if that is just what a priest is), but if we look at this from a Catholic point of view, it takes away the problem.

A priest is there in the person of Christ as someone else mentioned, which means we are confessing to Christ. Not just a man. So as people we submit to Christ in His institution of putting a regular man to take on the person of Christ and use His words to forgive our sin. “Whose sins you forgive will be forgiven”
As women’s ideal role model should be to imitate the Blessed Mother as the most blessed among women, it would be good to go to the Gospels and look to see how to best imitate her.

Catholic confessionals are required to have a screen, I would suggest the poster have this corrected in their parish as they are being deprived of their right to use a screen if one is lacking.

In Christ
Scylla

I would be interested in seeing if there was any basis for that one story about the lady and theology, or if it was just wishful thinking.
 
I am a woman and I find the question bizarre. Jesus was a man. The apostles were men. The priests are men. Confessing to the priest feels right and natural…fatherly might be the right word. I would be freaked out if I had to confess to another woman.

As for screens, I haven’t seen one in the confessional in a long long time…but then the music minister plays the bongos and the religious ed coordinator told me that they don’t call the instruction “catechism” (as if the word, itself, was deragatory). I would say more but I would probably be uncharitable and then where would I be? I would have to confess it…without the benefit of a screen. Yikes! :eek:
 
I think the OP needs a female Spirtual Director.

And needs to call the Parish and call them out on not having a screen. Otherwise, I would say that something deeper is going on if you do not want your Parish to abide by Cannon Law.
 
DJgang said:
I think the OP needs a female Spirtual Director.

And needs to call the Parish and call them out on not having a screen. Otherwise, I would say that something deeper is going on if you do not want your Parish to abide by Cannon Law.
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There is nothing deeper going on. I’m quite willing to remain in communion with the Church.

It is morning and time for me to face the beat of the drum.

It seems that consensus would have me search high and low for a confessional with a screen. I will do this. Please note that screens seem to be from a by-gone-era in my neck of the woods. I had no idea that Cannon Law requires that screens be readily available.

It is amusing to see the interest peaked by the possibility that designated women in the early Church heard confessions of other women and then had sins absolved by the priest.
Good wishful, hopeful thinking? – Indeed

And to the posters here that ‘put down’ women as gossipers beyond compare and negative sympathizers – 😦

And thanks to the poster who said “I would rather confess my sins to God.” This is more likely to happen with a screen. Period
 
I prefer my confessor to be male just as I prefer my doctor to be male.
Kathy
 
Like many, many, many people, I would feel more comfortable going out into the woods and confessing my sins to God directly.

But if I opted for what made me feel more comfortable, that would make me a Protestant, wouldn’t it?
 
Beautiful said:
There is nothing deeper going on. I’m quite willing to remain in communion with the Church.

It is morning and time for me to face the beat of the drum.

It seems that consensus would have me search high and low for a confessional with a screen. I will do this. Please note that screens seem to be from a by-gone-era in my neck of the woods. I had no idea that Cannon Law requires that screens be readily available.

It is amusing to see the interest peaked by the possibility that designated women in the early Church heard confessions of other women and then had sins absolved by the priest.
Good wishful, hopeful thinking? – Indeed

And to the posters here that ‘put down’ women as gossipers beyond compare and negative sympathizers – 😦

And thanks to the poster who said “I would rather confess my sins to God.” This is more likely to happen with a screen. Period
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I am glad to hear that you are not looking for a way to leave the church, or a reason rather…

Maybe you could just write a letter to your Parish / Father…and just let them know that you would perfer a screen, site the Cannon Law, and be at peace with yourself, knowing that you tried!

I pray that you can find somewhere to go to confession. Where you feel the Grace of God and it comes easy for you to talk to God/the Priest as Christ.

And I would never be negative toward someone who has a feeling on a preference…I prefer women doctors, LOL, my dentist, my OB, my regular physcian, I feel they relate to me better…and I can see how you may feel the same about a confessor, because they can be, in a way our spiritual doctor. Hence the reason that I suggest you find a female spiritual director. Do you have a convent close by? That may be a good place to look.

God bless you.
 
Joya said:
When my friend was explaining this he said that the woman (or lay person) was working together with the priest, not independently. She would first hear the person’s sins, offer guidance, then the penitent would immediately go to the priest (like in the next room or something) for the absolution.

My friend and I had this discussion many years ago and that’s all I remember what he said. I guess someone would have to do a search on the history of the sacrament of reconciliation.
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I have a hard time seeing this since confession, as we know it, has only been around since the 1200’s or so. In the early church, confession was public, involved a LONG penitential period, which must be preformed before absolution was given, and was only allowed once in a life time.

Later Irish monks began the practice on individual confession and allowed people to receive absolution before their penance was done.

Here is a brief history. I couldn’t find a better summary online. 🤷
 
Joya said:
I voted that I’d rather confess my sins to a priest even though it can sometimes be difficult (and embarrassing, but people say priests have heard it all).

However, I recall a friend telling me that in the early church people actually did confess their sins to a woman and then receive absolution from the priest. My friend was a graduate student in theology and explained that the woman (I guess she worked for the church-beats me) would hear the person’s sins and give spiritual counsel and then the penitent would be absolved by the priest.

Does anyone know where to research this to see if this is true? If so, then I think the OP is not completely off her rocker.
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This would be an invalid Sacrament because it separates the elements of the Sacrament.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
This would be an invalid Sacrament because it separates the elements of the Sacrament.
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Br. Rich and Karen Elissa,
You two make good points. Perhaps my friend was wrong, but I thought I would put it out there to see if anyone knew anything about that practice.
 
Beautiful said:
This question and poll is published with women in mind.

Without elaborating too much I just want to state how much better I’d feel about confessing my sins to a woman. Sometimes I just want to shrug my shoulders and give up on the business of confessing my sins simply because I’m tired of facing male priests for this matter. These thoughts and feelings are terrible but I can’t help it. Although I wear plain modest clothing and not a drop of makeup or perfume when I confess I can’t help but feel I am wearing a great big W on my forehead and breasts. I feel that if I confessed to another woman she would look at me as another one of her kind – without suspicion – with understanding – with mutual love and kindness. I’ve found myself envying men as they trot in to confess to a ‘buddy’. Anyway – am I alone here?
Yes - I know my expressions won’t be changing anything - ever.
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Truthfully, we are to look at our confessors as vehicles for Jesus to work through. More than a priest listening to your sins, Jesus is hearing your confession, and absolving you…not the priest. The priest is not judging you (or shouldn’t be) but rather, he is there acting in the persona of Christ. We share with Jesus our thoughts, fears, and sins…in every day prayer with Him…this really is no different. I understand your angst with confessing to a male, but if you think of it the terms above, it might lessen some of your concern about that. God bless!🙂
 
When I go to Confession, I am confessing my sins to Jesus. Jesus isn’t a woman.
 
I voted no, as it pertains to the Sacrament of Confession and Reconciliation. I do, however, “confess” (that is, confide) to girlfriends of mine when I’m having parenting or relational issues. But actual confessing of sins belongs in the Confessional with my priest. 👍
 
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