I am ADHD And Married

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love007

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I hate being married!..I feel so lonely all the time. My husband is always working…when he is there, our daughter would rather be with me of course…because I spend just about every moment with her. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I need help! how can I get out of this mess especially, when I can not ever provide for myself.
 
Oh dear! You do sound upset!
I’m sorry you’re lonely. Do you have friends, interests, hobbies, talents, or the possibility of finding some to help you. I know it’s tough being ADHD, but that means you do need safe outlets for your energy. Can you think of anything, Love?
 
Get some counseling with your priest and then get a referral to a competent Catholic counselor. The resolution does not lie in “getting out” but in dealing with your own issues that are causing you to be unhappy-- sounds like you are depressed.
 
Get some counseling with your priest and then get a referral to a competent Catholic counselor. The resolution does not lie in “getting out” but in dealing with your own issues that are causing you to be unhappy–** sounds like you are depressed**.
I agree but will take this one step further.
People with unaddressed ADHD may often have depression.
Please seek out medical help and get the ADHD treated if you are not already on a treatment plan. There are numerous ways available to treat this and make you more consistent and able to think more slowly and clearly.

Honestly, adults take meds too without shame, if that is what your physician believes is the best course of action.

I am married,with ADHD…my child has severe ADHD…my husband has ADHD. I believe it is a blessing that both my husband and I have it because we both understand each other - though I know how difficult it can be on relationships.

My heart goes out to you. Please seek some medical help and prayer to find some peace.

I will also say a prayer for you.
 
Thanks for all your answers…and yes, I have been on medication for ADHD for three years now.
 
Thanks for all your answers…and yes, I have been on medication for ADHD for three years now.
It is rare that medication takes care of ADHD in the absence of counselling. This, you probably know. Also, your husband may need some help in learning to appreciate and navigate your particular way of being.

I know about ADHD, husbands who work alot, and kids who are happy to fill our every waking minute. There can be a lot of tension between the spouse who is “always getting something done” and the spouse who feels that s/he can never get anything done, especially if the “hard-working” spouse feels the same way. This should not be left unaddressed, trust me. First off, the two can easily project attitudes into the other person that are not there. It is very easy to become mutually resentful.

You and your husband need to spend regular time together re-connecting, possibly even more than couples who don’t have this mix of ADHD and a full-work-schedule-type personality to deal with. It doesn’t sound as if you have that time. Talk this over with your husband, and find out the kinds of things he might like to do with you. Marriages need this. Kids need their parents to have this. I don’t mean just serious conversation and I don’t just mean fun. I mean both. After all, there is a reason you married in the first place. When was the last time you got to enjoy that?

Talk to the psychiatrist who prescribes your meds about this. Also, if you don’t know about the Hallowell Center, check out their website and Dr. Hallowell’s related books. I’ve found them very helpful.
 
I have ADHD too. So my attention span is limited and I’m easily bored. I don’t take meds though. I keep myself envolved and busy. Especially with physical activity and a diet which steers away from high fat high sugar content foods. I love various sports and play them, bike, hike and go to the gym. I would suggest finding something you love to do or volunteer work. You need some other focus other then you daughter and husband. You’re probably doing what is called in the ADD world hyperfocusing. Is there some daycare or mommy needs a break service where you can place you’re daughter for a few hours or afternoons a week. That would give you a break from hyperfocusing a bit. Also you daughter probably needs to get out and socialize with her own age group from time to time. Not sure on that as I don’t remember her age mentioned. This is all just my humble opinion. But I keep myself occupied and as a single person I find it make me less lonely especially when I’m helping others. 🤷
 
:o 😦 **
My spouse pretty much has always thought my mental impairment does not exist. In the past, I did ask my spouse if he would go to some marriage counceling with me, he said, “there’s nothing wrong with me”. Tonight, I tried to read to him what you wrote…he walked out of the room.:eek:
My little girl is 5…she already knows her parents don’t care to be around one another.😦
I will try the volunteering would be something great for me and my child.
Thank you all for the advise!!:hug1:
**
It is rare that medication takes care of ADHD in the absence of counselling. This, you probably know. Also, your husband may need some help in learning to appreciate and navigate your particular way of being.

I know about ADHD, husbands who work alot, and kids who are happy to fill our every waking minute. There can be a lot of tension between the spouse who is “always getting something done” and the spouse who feels that s/he can never get anything done, especially if the “hard-working” spouse feels the same way. This should not be left unaddressed, trust me. First off, the two can easily project attitudes into the other person that are not there. It is very easy to become mutually resentful.

You and your husband need to spend regular time together re-connecting, possibly even more than couples who don’t have this mix of ADHD and a full-work-schedule-type personality to deal with. It doesn’t sound as if you have that time. Talk this over with your husband, and find out the kinds of things he might like to do with you. Marriages need this. Kids need their parents to have this. I don’t mean just serious conversation and I don’t just mean fun. I mean both. After all, there is a reason you married in the first place. When was the last time you got to enjoy that?

Talk to the psychiatrist who prescribes your meds about this. Also, if you don’t know about the Hallowell Center, check out their website and Dr. Hallowell’s related books. I’ve found them very helpful.
 
Thanks for all your answers…and yes, I have been on medication for ADHD for three years now.
I am ADD not ADHD, talk to your doctor and get some different medication. Anxiety runs right along with the ADHD and does not make things any easier. Try a workout routine in your life, exercise has excellent benefits for ADHD and ADD people. By the way being ADHD or ADD is a trait and not a disability. You have to manage it. Best to you. I will pray for you.
 
I hate being married!..I feel so lonely all the time. My husband is always working…when he is there, our daughter would rather be with me of course…because I spend just about every moment with her. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I need help! how can I get out of this mess especially, when I can not ever provide for myself.
I am ADD and with my meds, I am able to work. Also had four children, two of whom ended up ADD.
In what way do you specifically need help?
 
I hate being married!..I feel so lonely all the time. My husband is always working…when he is there, our daughter would rather be with me of course…because I spend just about every moment with her. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I need help! how can I get out of this mess especially, when I can not ever provide for myself.
There are several good resources out there for adults with ADD/ADHD: “Driven to Distraction”, “you mean I’m Not Lazy Crazy or stupid”, “ADD in the Work Place”. You may also want to contact CHADD or get into an adult group. chadd.org/

If you can’t figure it out I have ADD but have been able to find work that takes advantage of my ADD abilities. However my wife is not understanding. My biggest issue is hyperfocussing when working, watching TV, anything else. She feels I should just make a harder effort. I have not been able to get her sympothy in over 15 years but I have learned how to adapt my behavior to make things more bearable at home.
 
ADHD should be managed with different methods. I disagree with taking meds seeing it did me more harm than good.
 
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