I am an out gay man. Ask me anything.

[Elizabeth502]

I don’t know precisely why I believe in right and wrong. It’s something I think about often. I have a few beginning thoughts on the matter though, the first of which is this: What is right is that which encourages cooperation, exploration, and happiness, and I’m okay with accepting those things for thier own sake.

Well there’s a profoundly conceived moral construct, since, of course, many people “explore” murder, domestic violence, torture, domestic terrorism, and other vile acts to “explore” what might make them “happy.” In fact, the exploration of legal and societal boundaires is at the heart of many motivations by those engaging in civilly and criminally prosecutable behavior.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I myself don’t have any questions but there’s a bunch of idiots I know on Facebook who’ve been nagging me to ask this question for them. -.-

“Do you gays bond more with mostly other gays or do you also hang out with a lot of lesbians and female bisexuals?”

Feel free to answer them… or not. I’m just seriously hoping I won’t get flamed for even posting this on here. -_-;;

 

[m8g8]

Regarding the issue with catholic adoption agencies, my position is this: The children being adopted deserve an especially high level of protection. It’s not the kid’s fault or choice that he or she happened to end up at a Catholic adoption agency. And it’s not fair to the kid that an entire pool of well-qualified applicants is excluded from consideration.

To the point generally about gays and religion being at odds, I think you’re right. That being said, I don’t think that it’s a reasonable opinion that churches will eventually be forced to marry gay people, or will be punished for preaching against homosexuality. I’m a firm supporter of the separation of Church and state, and the church should be able to preach or say or support anything they want.

Thanks for replying.

Sorry, I’m not in a very ‘talkative/typative’ mood, but just wanted to let you know I read your reply and it was interesting

 

[Elizabeth502]

I find it amusing that some are so threatened by your presence and what you motives may be.

I find it way more amusing that those of us who are responding on this thread are assumed to feel “threatened” by the OP’s motives.

Hysterically funny, in fact.

 

[PatrickSebast]

Do you feel that the Churches stance on homosexuality is insulting (The Church itself, not the various individuals within it)? Does the idea that a man, who was attracted to other men, would choose a life of celibacy in devotion to God and the Church bother you at all?

 

[Elizabeth502]

Considering he has over 1200 posts I don’t think this is really a fair question. He obviously has spent a good deal of time on here prior to this topic, so why criticize him for trying something new?

I wasn’t criticizing him. I was responding to a comment posed by another poster.

 

[Exalt]

It appears that you disagree with the idea that anyone would actually choose to be gay because you don’t feel that way at all apparently. That is interesting.

So, you don’t feel oppressed at all? Don’t feel you are denied rights and are discriminated against, you don’t feel rejected, don’t feel the need to have laws changed to embrace that lifestyle or anything like that? I ask because so often the claim is made regarding homosexuals that they would never choose their life because it is so rough. But, you disagree.

Other than those above, I don’t think I have other questions because I’m not curious about the lifestyle you’ve chosen.

I don’t think people generally choose to be attracted to men or women. Personally, I didn’t choose to be attracted to other men. However, I did choose to accept it, to be okay with it, and I’ve grown to love who I am.

I personally have always been a little uncomfortable with the argument you referenced, that being gay isn’t a choice because being gay is such a terrible thing. It *can *be a traumatic experience to come out, but once you’re comfortable with your identity as a gay person, it’s more than fine. There’s profound happiness to be found there.

I don’t feel oppressed, no. I used to, though. When I came out, I had a great deal of trouble with my parents and many of my friends. My parents and I came to an understanding and we’ve got a great relationship now. But alas, I lost most of the friends I had before I came out, and had to rebuild new friendships with others. That was tough on my 20 year old self.

That being said, I do feel that there are some legal rights and protections that I don’t have. I live in Texas and am an employee of the state, actually. I’m not able to be legally married in the eyes of the state, and neither am I able to receive any kind of benefits for my same-sex partner. The government – which is supposed to guarantee equal rights and protection for all – currently holds the position that heterosexual relationships are superior to homosexual relationships. I believe that that is unjust discrimination and should be changed.

But generally speaking, 99.9% of the time I don’t feel oppressed at all. I’m totally okay with expressing public displays of affection with another man in public, and have only once received any kind of negative comment for it. My family is cool with who I am. My friends are, too. I’m happy.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

How about, “Why do you enjoy coming onto a Catholic forum for the purpose of provoking an argument or stirring up controversy?”

 

[Young_Thinker]

How about, “Why do you enjoy coming onto a Catholic forum for the purpose of provoking an argument or stirring up controversy?”

For the same reasons that any non-Catholic participates in this forum- to gain new insights, have constructive discussions, make friends with those with a different perspective than their own, etc.

 

[Exalt]

Have you read what the Catechism has to say on homosexuality? I feel like it’s a very different approach to homosexuality that people like to sweep under the rug, so to speak. The media seems to only highlight Christians who are cruel towards the dignity of homosexual people, so I think it might shock some people that the Catholic church regards homosexual people as equally dignified and precious as every other human being, and homosexual temptations and feelings as ok… But not acting upon those tendancies, of course.
In your personal experience, how many homosexual people know the Catholic church’s position as described above?

1. Yes, I have indeed read what the Catechism has said on homosexuality, plus every other thing the USCCB or the Vatican has put out about it.

I disagree with much of it, obviously, but I do like that they’ve taken a stance that does indeed respect the basic dignity of gay people. It does seem that sometimes the Church makes *political *issues about gay people a big deal, which I find that curious given the strong statements that unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.

1. Generally speaking, most gay people that I talk to (and I know dozens and dozens) are generally friendly towards the Church. Most of them know people who are Catholic, and most of those Catholics haven’t said a word negatively towards them about their sexuality. That being said, almost all of them are aware of the Church’s strong stance against expressing homosexual feelings, and understandably choose not to get involved with the Church.

 

[Exalt]

Exalt,

As you see from the responses, you are not speaking to a homogeneous group any more than one gay man represents the opinions of all gay men.

Good! I like the variety of opinions here. And yeah, I definitely don’t speak for all gay people. Just me!

 

[Big_Ro]

Well there’s a profoundly conceived moral construct, since, of course, many people “explore” murder, domestic violence, torture, domestic terrorism, and other vile acts to “explore” what might make them “happy.” In fact, the exploration of legal and societal boundaires is at the heart of many motivations by those engaging in civilly and criminally prosecutable behavior.

Yes, but you equated homosexual behavior with murder, domestic violence, torture, etc. I know you will deny it but it’s clear and a very uncharitable comment. I think you should read what a previous posters quotes from the CCC. IMHO, it’s especially bad to make this sort of uncharitable statement during Holy Week. As you judge so shall you be judged. Perhaps you, I and everyone else should focus on the plank in our own eye rather than harangue this young man for the perceived speck in his eye. Whatever his “choices” about lifestyle might be I sincerely hope that God in his infinite wisdom finds a way to provide he and all sinners, such as myself, a pathway to salvation.

 

[Exalt]

But do you ever wish that you were attracted to girls, at least enough so that you could marry and have children of your own (as opposed to have them through a surrogate mother or adoption)?

I used to, sure, but just because I believed being gay was wrong, not because I wanted kids.

Having a child of my own genetic material was never something I really desired. I’m totally comfortable with adoption, and I’m looking forward to adopting a kid someday.

Having a surrogate mother doesn’t interest me, by the way.

 

[Young_Thinker]

I used to, sure, but just because I believed being gay was wrong, not because I wanted kids.

Having a child of my own genetic material was never something I really desired. I’m totally comfortable with adoption, and I’m looking forward to adopting a kid someday.

Having a surrogate mother doesn’t interest me, by the way.

I see. Thank you for your response.

 

[John21652]

Here’s a question for you.

Why would an “out” gay male join a specifically Catholic forum? I don’t buy your benign-sounding “curiosity” response.

Other than that, your choices are not interesting to me.

I’ll tell you why he joined this forum.

He wants to bait Catholics.
He wants to shove his homosexual agenda into everyones face.
He wants to ‘normalise’ the abnormal.
He could have found out all he wants simply by reading through this thread. Instead, He wants to dominate a thread with a point of view that has been considered abnormal from the year dot.
He wants to set up the thread so his supporters can come along and tell us how we feel ‘threatened’.

And a whole lot more…

 

[Exalt]

I myself don’t have any questions but there’s a bunch of idiots I know on Facebook who’ve been nagging me to ask this question for them. -.-

“Do you gays bond more with mostly other gays or do you also hang out with a lot of lesbians and female bisexuals?”

Feel free to answer them… or not. I’m just seriously hoping I won’t get flamed for even posting this on here. -_-;;

I bond with everyone, in different ways! In fact, I can even break down my friends as follows:

• My two closest friends are male, gay, and own a house together. I helped them build a gazebo last weekend!
• My next dozen closest friends run the gamut of sexuality. Two are lesbians. Perhaps six are straight, half male and half female. The rest are gay men.

 

[lizaanne]

I know many of you believe that homosexuality is immoral,

The Catholic Church does not believe that BEING homosexual is immoral, only that homosexual ACTS are immoral. Some individuals may feel that homosexual persons are inherently immoral – this is their own personal hang up, and not a belief of the Catholic Church.

or that gays should not be allowed to adopt children

This is because every child should have the benefit of being raised by a mother and a father (male and female), because it is only from the union of a man and a woman that children are created. The family unit is husband/wife/child(ren). This is how we were created. Two men can not create a family without outside intervention, thus making it outside the norm. Every child has the right to be raised in a normal family structure.

or get married legally,

This is because of the reasons I’ve cited above.

or that homosexuality was caused by some early psychological trauma and might be able to be healed.

The Catholic Church has no official stance on this. What individuals may or may not say is their own opinion. The Church does not know the origin or cause of homosexuality, nor does she say that homosexuals should or can be “cured”.

But I don’t know what you would actually ask an out gay person if given the chance. Are you as curious as I am?

I am more concerned about your lack of faith, than I am about your homosexuality. Because I believe that if you truly understood and believed what the Catholic Faith teaches, you would not WANT to live an active homosexual life, but instead understand that we are ALL called to chastity, regardless of our state in life - even married men and women.

(Edited)

~Liza

 

[Exalt]

Do you feel that the Churches stance on homosexuality is insulting (The Church itself, not the various individuals within it)? Does the idea that a man, who was attracted to other men, would choose a life of celibacy in devotion to God and the Church bother you at all?

Those are two great questions, and I should answer them delicately.

#1. Is the Church’s stance on homosexuality insulting? Insulting isn’t the right word, but I do very much disagree with it.

#2. Yes, it does bother me. I don’t believe there are reasonable explanations for the opposition of same-sex relationships. It looks like those men are denying themselves positive sexual relationships for no good reason.

 

[chypmonk]

Welcome Exalt. But I guess I am a little late since you have been posting for awhile.
I don’t agree with your choice, I believe you are putting your soul in danger of eternal damnation.

I pray for you and God’s Grace to help you find the way to salvation in the Church.

I have had more than a few friends that were/are gay, sorry to say, but they all had huge mood swings. All I would like you to remember is the only sin the Holy Spirit will not forgive is despair of being forgiven.

BTW if you’re curious ask God Himself If He is what we think He is He will answer, maybe not in the way you expect, but He will. No atheist I challenge will do this “experiment”.
God Bless

 

[Charlemagne_II]

Exalt
**
Let’s find out! I am an openly gay man. Ask me anything.**

At what age did you become an atheist?