I am disgusting, a never ending struggle

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Darbie

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For the past two years I’ve thought that I could take care of myself, but I can’t. Please don’t judge me harshly, I’ve seen others with the same problem on here and I feel like I’m coming to the wrong place, but I feel awkward talking to someone I know on an everyday basis. I’m a lesbian, but I don’t live the lesbian lifestyle. Every once and a while the same problem arises, sometimes I want to do things with women, a relationship, sex, etc like I used to, but I know that I can’t and it I did then I would deeply regret that. It’s really hard for me to actually admit this, I don’t even know why I’m trying to. Twice I’ve gotten to the point of almost hooking up with another woman since my conversion. It was even mentioned, like almost a done deal, but I can’t do it, then I feel awful because I feel I almost tried to lead someone else to sin…I don’t know what I’m doing, I guess I’m just venting. I’m also very feminine, and the last time I went to confession was in Nov. because the priest thought I was a man because of my deep voice…yeah seriously, I hate having a sucky confession habit, but it was hard before now I’ve tried to stay out of mortal sin but I don’t even know if I’m in a state of mortal sin…
 
St. Felicity and St. Perpetua, pray for this poster. Guide her towards strong, chaste same-sex friendships. Help her heal and overcome temptation so she can love and be loved as God intends.

St. John Vianney, help her find a good confessor. Obtain for her the grace of making good confessions. Help her know the love and forgiveness that God offers.

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
:gopray:
 
St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.
 
Bless you for continuing on! I highly recommend “ChastityProject.com” for some support. I’ll keep you in my prayers. St. Agatha, St. Agnes, pray for us.
 
Male, but what you are describing hits really close to home. Saint Augustine, pray for us.
 
you are no more disgusting than any of His other creations…He loves you…His greatest desire is for you to be happy…

I will pray for your peace of mind and understanding…
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular Darbie, and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†

Prayer for a Miracle

God of all creation, you who spoke a simple command and brought forth light from
the darkness, I ask you now to send forth your miracle-working power to heal Darbie. You cleansed the lepers, opened the eyes of the blind and by
speaking a simple command, you empowered the crippled to rise up and walk.
You sent forth your life-giving power to all those in need, including those you raised from
the dead. I ask you to send forth your healing power into Darbie’s body and give him the strength to fight his illness. I ask this through my Lord, Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen

†
 
Praying that you will understand how deeply God loves you and that the does not find you disgusting whatsoever. It’s difficult to struggle with some desires and temptations and having a good confessor is a wonderful help.

Praying for the intentions in your heart.

Mary.
 
You are not disgusting, don’t despair, keep fighting the good fight!

Praying for your intentions!
 
Dear friend, rest in peaceful assurance that our God does NOT find you disgusting. He created you and He loves you more than you can ever know. When he designed you, He also gave you a certain sets of flaws and faults, goodnesses and virtues, positives and negatives which are peculiarly yours alone, even though they may be shared by many others of His created ones. If you were to speak to Him, I am quite certain He would tell you that He gave you these conditions so that you may work through and with them to get closer to Him. Isn’t that our only REAL purpose in this human lifetime anyway? We are to use all our traits and efforts to try to get closer to God, so that when we die, going the way of all created things, we will be as happy in heaven as He has given us the capacity to be. How can your feelings of self-disgust gain you greater happiness? Chances are, they can’t. May I offer you some suggestions that may help you? First of all, PRAY very hard that God give you peace of soul. Ask that He give you faith in His Will and His Judgment, not in your own. Remember that HE created you – you did not. Second, look DILIGENTLY for a good Confessor. If the priest of your previous confession seems “too judgmental”, go to a different one, or a different parish, or another town. Priests come in all shapes, sizes, temperaments, and capabilities as other humans do. There are many others who will be better confessors for you. Find one. Third, pour yourself into His Mercy and trust in Jesus’ love for you. He only waits for you to ask him, and then, to listen for His answers to you. Fourth, develop a close relationship to the Blessed Mother. She is your strongest ally, and she will help you put the things in your life (even feelings and those cravings) into the right order to raise them into glorification of God. Then, perhaps as important as all these others, realize that you are not alone. Your brothers and sisters, your friends in God’s Community, your guardian angel, and all the angels in heaven, love you and are praying for you, because we/they ALL want your happiness and sharing our joy with you in heaven. Be at peace, dear soul. God loves you immeasurably.
 
There a few couple ones of mortal sin in history, but it is impossible to commit it nowadays. Believe me, Vatican knows these issues. With regarding to catechesis, I can help you with that.
 
You are not disgusting. You are a child of God and he has always loved you and will always love you. I am praying for you.
 
Dear Darbie,

I am so sorry you are hurting so much. Please take heart: your confessor would not have wanted you to be disheartened over your last confession. Pray for help and guidance for the next one. Examine your conscience quietly and calmly (remember, the devil likes to fish in troubled waters; Jesus calms the waters). Pray in love and contrition to Our Lord. And go, make a good confession, and perform your penance…all quietly and gently, with gratitude to Our Lord for His Divine Mercy. Do it as soon as you can – do not wait any longer. Furthermore, the First Friday (which is also the Feast of the Sacred Heart this year) and First Saturday are coming up within the next ten days. Take comfort in the promises of Jesus to those who honour His Sacred Heart by the First Friday devotions and those of Our Lady of Fatima regarding the First Saturdays.

For what it’s worth, I greatly admire the good will and determination of those who experience same-sex attraction and yet strive to remain chaste, especially Catholics. It is not easy in today’s world which tells you to give in. Be strong in Christ! He has overcome the world.

Remember the Rosary and mental prayer. These are two practices which I find indispensable…not to mention Holy Mass.

Having looked at some of your previous posts, I see you are a convert from a Baptist community. You have already made great progress along the “way of perfection” – again, take heart! Don’t let anyone take away your faith, hope or (especially) your charity.

Remember:
“Where sin abounded, grace did more abound.” (Rom 5:20)

Remembering you in my Rosary this evening: I will pray it shortly!

May God bless you!

Siobhán.
+
 
Lifting you up in prayer, beloved of the Lord.

The Lord bless you, and keep you.
The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and grant you peace.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular Darbie, and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†

Prayer for a Miracle

God of all creation, you who spoke a simple command and brought forth light from
the darkness, I ask you now to send forth your miracle-working power to heal Darbie. You cleansed the lepers, opened the eyes of the blind and by
speaking a simple command, you empowered the crippled to rise up and walk.
You sent forth your life-giving power to all those in need, including those you raised from
the dead. I ask you to send forth your healing power into Darbie’s body and give him the strength to fight his illness. I ask this through my Lord, Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen

†
 
nahbios said:
For what it’s worth, I greatly admire the good will and determination of those who experience same-sex attraction and yet strive to remain chaste, especially Catholics. It is not easy in today’s world which tells you to give in. Be strong in Christ! He has overcome the world.
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Dear Darbie,
I so agree with poster above. You are in no way disgusting. You are fighting hard, and you are courageous. We tell ourselves we are bad, and become discouraged, and the Evil one loves it. God will reward you for everything you are doing. He sees everything, and He won’t forget you.
 
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