I am very sorry. I hope you find a way to work things out. Many people throw the “d” word around as a way to say, “I just can’t take the status quo any more.” That means the marriage has to change drastically. Sometimes, though, it doesn’t mean the marriage has to go through civil dissolution.
This is very sound advice. As a male, I like to joke that men talk to transmit data, and women talk to transmit feelings. While this may be a gross over-generalization, there’s a grain of truth to it.
A good example is when a wife says “we NEVER go out for dinner”. The husband’s gut reaction is to say “she’s lying, we went out for dinner two months ago”.
In fact though, she’s not lying. She’s saying “it FEELS like we never go out for dinner”, or “we don’t go out for dinner OFTEN enough”.
Often the husband turns around and says to his wife that she’s lying, when in fact she’s not, she’s just using hyperbole to make a point. As a husband, I can say “ignore it at your peril”
And if I rub salt into the wound by telling her she’s lying, then I’m in HUGE trouble. Ask me know I know this… (hint: married 26 years).
In ajecphotos case, I suspect what is being said is “we need to talk, big-time”. At least I’d take it that way at first. If she is really serious, he’ll know soon enough. If not, then it’s time to exercise the first word of the Rule of Saint Benedict: “Listen”, because he’ll regret acting in haste. And not just listen, but as Saint Benedict says, “Listen with the ear of your heart”.
Speak to your bishop before separating or filing for divorce.
Can. 1692 §1. Unless other provision is legitimately made in particular places, a decree of the diocesan bishop or a judicial sentence can decide the personal separation of baptized spouses according to the norm of the following canons.
§2. Where an ecclesiastical decision has no civil effects or if a civil sentence is not contrary to divine law, the bishop of the diocese of the residence of the spouses, after having weighed the special circumstances, can grant permission to approach the civil forum.
I’d still speak to the priest first. Priests are hard enough to get a hold of, and bishops even more so as they’re so busy.
Moreover most often, decisions that are within the authority of the local ordinary (the bishop) are often delegated by the bishop to the curate of the parish. If the priest has had this authority delegated to him, then you’ll save a ton of time. If it hasn’t, then he’ll quickly put you on the right track.
The danger of reading canon law is that we’re not canon lawyers… best go via our pastor as the first step.
