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Catholicismtrue
Guest
I appreciate your help. I think I will continue to just be kind, as normal, but definitely not get into anything deeper or anything like that, I hope my priest will give similar advice.
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Catholicismtrue
Guest
This may or not mean anything, but I’ll post it anyway.
A month ago I went on vacation for a week with some old friends, without my girlfriend, it was happy, and anxiety free. Since I’ve gotten back, I’ve had a moderate but persistet cough and sore throat, but more importantly, an almost constant persistent feeling of worrying and anxiety, and, diarrhea. Yesterday I received diarrhea about 10 times, and a persistent stomach ache. But this NEVER happened when I was on vacation, nor has it happened recently when i have gone on a day trip a way to a concert… without my girlfriend…
A month ago I went on vacation for a week with some old friends, without my girlfriend, it was happy, and anxiety free. Since I’ve gotten back, I’ve had a moderate but persistet cough and sore throat, but more importantly, an almost constant persistent feeling of worrying and anxiety, and, diarrhea. Yesterday I received diarrhea about 10 times, and a persistent stomach ache. But this NEVER happened when I was on vacation, nor has it happened recently when i have gone on a day trip a way to a concert… without my girlfriend…
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GraceDK
Guest
Thats interesting… perhaps we could start a new thread about that.
A few weeks ago I went far away for a date with someone I had met on a catholic internet dating site. While in his town I soon found out that I didn’t like the person at all and he was all the time coming on to me. I just couldn’t wait to get out of there…
In those days my nose started running and the pain due to my period was much worse than it normally is. When I returned home the cold vanished
Our mental wellbeing has a lot of bearing on our physical one.
I have also been in a reltionship that looked a bit like yours… It was psychologically draining and I suffered a lot of uneasyness, especially at night and morning. When I broke the relationship off, I felt relieved…
I think you should end it with this person. Offer her your friendship, but be honest with her!
You have taken some steps that you shouldn’t have, which has you more entangled than most other people… also due to the length of the relationship. But it probably wont be the last time you have to dissapoint someone. Have courage.
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Catholicismtrue
Guest
At night and morning? That is interrsting because every night I have just been so overwhelmed and upset that its almost become all that I can talk to my friends aboutThats interesting… perhaps we could start a new thread about that.
A few weeks ago I went far away for a date with someone I had met on a catholic internet dating site. While in his town I soon found out that I didn’t like the person at all and he was all the time coming on to me. I just couldn’t wait to get out of there…
In those days my nose started running and the pain due to my period was much worse than it normally is. When I returned home the cold vanished
Our mental wellbeing has a lot of bearing on our physical one.
I have also been in a reltionship that looked a bit like yours… It was psychologically draining and I suffered a lot of uneasyness, especially at night and morning. When I broke the relationship off, I felt relieved…
I think you should end it with this person. Offer her your friendship, but be honest with her!
You have taken some steps that you shouldn’t have, which has you more entangled than most other people… also due to the length of the relationship. But it probably wont be the last time you have to dissapoint someone. Have courage.
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promethius
Guest
My friend, as I’ve already said, the purpose of a relationship is to discern marriage. You don’t even have to have an exact reason… if you don’t feel that she’s good for you for marriage, that’s all the justification you need to break it off. You don’t need to justify it by going into quite so much detail on side effects of the relationship…
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Catholicismtrue
Guest
That’s true. I definitely probably focus way too much on justification and stuff. It all comes down to, how do I explain this to her? Just pick out a random happy day and come out and say “I don’t want to marry you, therefore, I would like to break up, no arguments, leave.”?My friend, as I’ve already said, the purpose of a relationship is to discern marriage. You don’t even have to have an exact reason… if you don’t feel that she’s good for you for marriage, that’s all the justification you need to break it off. You don’t need to justify it by going into quite so much detail on side effects of the relationship…
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Now you know better than that! :tsktsk: The girl, as far as you can tell, has no idea that your feelings toward her are shifting. And, she lives in your parents’ home. It would not be at all fair to her, or charitable, to do something like you write above.
As far as your symptoms, anxiety can indeed cause our bodies to get rid of stuff post haste. Your body has no idea that you are not going into battle or some other adrenaline-requiring situation. If you can’t calm down, you will have to do something about the situation sooner than your departure for Europe (or wherever).
And please, STOP talking about this to your friends! You are gossiping about another person and it’s not going to help either you OR your (former) girlfriend. As far as she knows, all is well between you, correct? I believe that is the sin of detraction.
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Catholicismtrue
Guest
You’re right, I’m going to stop talking about it and i never liked talking about it anyway i’ve just been crazy and unsure what to do. I’ll post how it goes after i talk to a priest tomorrow morning.
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julichka
Guest
Hello Friend. I was reading your story and recognised myself and my ex-boyfriend. I remeber his words. He said exactly what you wrote there “I don’t think I want to be with you forever anymore, that is- I don’t want to get married. You are not a bad person, I will help you to find a new apartment”…etc. I dont know how to comment on it, you have your freedom, of course… I think you are afraid of commintments and want to escape before it has gone too far… I dont know how my ex BF feels now and how he will feel in 5 or 10 years. You know our situation was more complicated. But I am sure he will pay for his sins as well as you and me and all of us. I dont think you are a coward but you will cause problems for your girlfriend by making this decision. Be careful with people… but you cannot make yourself love her, if you dont, unfortunately you are too young to realize what is happening. You should have been careful when talking about marriage etc. Actually, men are very egoistic and self centered, on the both sides of the ocean. You are not an exception. Your poor girlfriend. I can imagine how she feels…
“I don’t want to marry you, therefore, I would like to break up, no arguments, leave.” That is exactly what he said to me.
After that he offered me his frindship but I dont want to have such friends. I dont talk to him and dont allow him to talk to me. I dont want betrayer to be my friend.
“I don’t want to marry you, therefore, I would like to break up, no arguments, leave.” That is exactly what he said to me.
After that he offered me his frindship but I dont want to have such friends. I dont talk to him and dont allow him to talk to me. I dont want betrayer to be my friend.
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Irishmom2
Guest
I just want to say this as an aside to young men that may be reading this. Stop talking about marriage unless you are actually ready to ask someone to marry you. Some guys are serial marriage talkers, but always end up breaking up. Don’t be that guy. Don’t talk about it for years ahead of time. Things happen, people change and then it ends up not happening. Just wait until it is the right time.
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promethius
Guest
With the caveat, of course, that one should be upfront in establishing that they pursue relationships with the express purpose of discerning marraige and that they aren’t interested in a “right now” thing, or a romp in the hay, or whatever you want to call it.I just want to say this as an aside to young men that may be reading this. Stop talking about marriage unless you are actually ready to ask someone to marry you. Some guys are serial marriage talkers, but always end up breaking up. Don’t be that guy. Don’t talk about it for years ahead of time. Things happen, people change and then it ends up not happening. Just wait until it is the right time.
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promethius
Guest
I utterly fail to see how your ex boyfriend “betrayed you” from what you’re telling us. The purpose of a relationship is to discern marriage… if that discernment comes back with a negative response, the only RIGHT action in that case is to call off the relationship. It sounds to me like he was honest… there was nothing wrong with you, he simply did not possess the kind of sacramental love required for a valid and healthy marriage to go forward. Would your rather he be subject to only your desires and submit himself to a marriage he felt was doomed from the outset??? You know that one CANNOT offer a valid marriage if they enter into it with the presumption that it will fail, right…? You know that had he stuck around, he would only have been able to offer you an invalid shell of a marriage devoid of marital love?
You’re hurt, I get that, and it’s a reality of the situation. He certainly shouldn’t have been living with you before marriage (what a complication that must have put in your lives when it didn’t work out!), but the reality remains the same: once discernment has been made that marriage is NOT the future of the relationship for ANY reason, that’s the end of discussion, the relationship should be terminated.
Your boyfriend did what is right in that regard… so stop holding it against him.
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