I am not a good Catholic

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outfctrl said:
Since I have been back to the Church (six weeks), I feel guilty all the time. I sin almost constantly, not just sin, but Mortal sins. It is freaking me out.
I slip and say the Lords name in vain…MORTAL SIN
I masturbate…MORTAL SIN
I look at a woman’s attributes and…think…another MORTAL SIN.
I turn down sex…but think how nice it would be to…Another MORTAL SIN.

I am really trying, but it seems like I live in sin.

How does a single guy do this? It seems I need to go to confession daily. What am I going to do?

I look at our priests when I go to Mass, and have the highest respect for them. Committing their lives to Jesus and the Church. The temptations of this world are almost unbearable, at least for me they are.

Sure could use some advice on my spirituality, its killing me. I want so bad to be a good Catholic, but it seems almost impossible. I pray and pray and pray to our Mother Mary, Jesus, the Saints, but still screw up.
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outfctrl:

It sounds as if St. Paul had the same problem you do:

Romans 7:13-25 ESV
*Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.*
You also need to remember what St. John Said:

1 John 2:1, 2 ESV
My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.
And, you should know that most of what you’re describing as “Mortal Sins” probably aren’t:

So what kind of Sins are Mortal?
In order for a sin to be mortal, it must meet three conditions:
Mortal sin is a sin of grave matter
Mortal sin is committed with full knowledge of the sinner
Mortal sin is committed with deliberate consent of the sinner
This means that mortal sins cannot be done “accidentally.” A person who commits a mortal sin is one who knows that their sin is wrong, but still deliberately commits the sin anyway. This means that mortal sins are “premeditated” by the sinner and thus are truly a rejection of God’s law and love.
saintaquinas.com/mortal_sin.html

Remember, the Father of Lies wants you to believe that your sins are such that God could never forgive them. Nothing could ever be further from the truth. God’s grace and Mercy are greater than the sum of all of our sins. If Jesus could forgive the woman caught in Adultery (John 8:2-11), those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34) and the Robber dying next to Him on the cross (Luke 23:42-43), He can forgive you of all of your sins.

Please remember that, and try something such as Daily Mass, daily prayers from a Breviary, and the Rosary, as well as regular meetings with a Spiritual Director.

I hope that helps and provides some comfort.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael
 
I have read every post here at lest twice. Last night I went to the Catholic Store and picked up a CD on the rosary to become familiar with how to say it.

I have stopped going to my Biker bar. Couldnt handle all those women in leather, so I just refuse to go now. My friends are critisizing me. Oh well.

I mostly ride alone. Bikeweek will be a real challenge for me. Makes beach wear modest. I probably wont go.

Anyways, Thank you all for your support. It makes me try harder knowing I am not alone in these temptations.
 
outfctrl said:
I have read every post here at lest twice. Last night I went to the Catholic Store and picked up a CD on the rosary to become familiar with how to say it.

I have stopped going to my Biker bar. Couldnt handle all those women in leather, so I just refuse to go now. My friends are critisizing me. Oh well.

I mostly ride alone. Bikeweek will be a real challenge for me. Makes beach wear modest. I probably wont go.

Anyways, Thank you all for your support. It makes me try harder knowing I am not alone in these temptations.
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Brother,

One thing I’m learning is that the closer we get to God, the more wretched and horrible we recognize ourselves to be. I remember getting drunk every night working at a bar (note: Bar and Resturant employees are the Rock Stars of the middle class) living a horribly unholy life. But I was able to think that I wasn’t bad because sometimes I went to mass and I wasn’t as bad as some other people.

When we realize who God is calling us to be, we soon recognize that it’s going to be impossible to live a holy life without his help. This a resounding theme in nearly all of the writings of the Saints. Consider these stuggles and temptations as a sign that you are living the life you are called to. For these reasons.
  1. The enemy know’s you are drawing close to the Lord, so he’s sending a FULL ON ASSULT!
  2. Rejoice that you are in need of and able to accept God’s mercy.
  3. Do not despair. For we are an Easter people and HALLELUJAH IS OUR SONG!!! -Pope John Paul the Great.
Someone once said that Christianity is the hardest faith to live by, but the best faith to die by. You’re in my prayers. And maybe pick up the “Diary of Divine Mercy” by St. Faustina. There’s some hot fire goodness in there and may help your sprituality.

God Bless
Nate
 
outfctrl: I just wanted to share that to live my faith has been a long journey. I had to turn my self away from many people, places, and things in order to live my life for God. I was so steeped in sin that my conversion required a complete change in my world view. This is what I found:

It did not happen overnight or all at once. God is a gentle master and he is in control of the conversion process. To the extent that you let Him, He will work the change in you. Just turn yourself over to Him and strive to do his will moment by moment.

Continue to avoid the mere occasion of sin. You will find that there are many emotional and physical triggers. Sometimes, we have to walk away for a time until we are strong enough not be tempted and sometimes, we have to walk away for ever.

You will lose friends but you will gain many more. I have lost two of my best friends over the years because I no longer party or carouse and I’ve radically changed my world view. These are friendships of over 20 years. Though, I still care about and love these two friends immensely, I am not lonely - or alone. I am at peace and happy in a way that drugs, men, and illicit sex could never make me. I realize I spent many years amused but not truly happy.

Stay the course. Satan makes it really hard at first -know that you will be under spiritual attack almost constantly for a while. God is with you every step of the way and you can always ask God to send backup. Ultimately, you are fighting for your soul - so don’t give up.

Peace
 
pharmacistUH said:
Dude, we are in the same boat on that one. The most challenging sin to combat, for me, is sexual desires. I agree, it feels almost impossible, but here’s the trick. Set a goal for yourself, try to go a few days without masturbating. Go as long as you can until you just break. Once you do that, set another goal a few days longer, and repeat. It takes 16 days to make or break a habit, usually. If you can last 3 weeks without doing anything like that, you can be assured that this habit (which is all that it is) will be gone with. And you are going to fail, I fail, everyone fails. If we were all “good” Catholics, then Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on the cross. The most important thing is to keep fighting, and never fall into despair. Despair is the worst thing we can do in the eyes of God because we basically tell him that there is nothing he can do for us. Even if you break, go to the next appointment for Confession with the idea of “I can do this, Jesus will fight for me.” For help with seeing other women, just keep this in mind. Jesus is in every single person, He created us, and He is in everyone, Christian or not. Everytime you see a well endowed woman, immediately think of Jesus as being in her, and try to re-focus to something else. Like the 16 day habit thing, eventually this will be second nature. Sorry for the long post, but your thread resonated with me on more than one level, and I just wanted to let you know my personal ways of fighting the good fight, and to let you know that you aren’t alone. Good luck 👍 .
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I know a priest who says that if you don’t have sexual desires and temptations every day of your life, then you don’t need to see a priest, you need to see a psychiatrist.

The point is to keep fighting the battle. Good advice above: Pray, repent, confess. Fall down. Get up. Fall down. Get up.

The Devil HATES confession.
 
I’m a bad Catholic too. Though every day I wake up and thank the Lord. Then I ask myself, “How I can be a better person?” I still fault and error, but less so day by day.

Pray the Rosary. Helps a lot.

Love in Christ,

emp
 
Read the book: “Understanding Scrupulosity” by Thomas M. Santa, director of Scrupulous Anonymous. It is a wonderful book and has helped me tremendously.

God Loves you,
Lou F
 
outfctrl said:
I have read every post here at lest twice. Last night I went to the Catholic Store and picked up a CD on the rosary to become familiar with how to say it.

I have stopped going to my Biker bar. Couldnt handle all those women in leather, so I just refuse to go now. My friends are critisizing me. Oh well.

I mostly ride alone. Bikeweek will be a real challenge for me. Makes beach wear modest. I probably wont go.

Anyways, Thank you all for your support. It makes me try harder knowing I am not alone in these temptations.
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Maybe in time you will be spiritually strong enough to return to the biker bars, not to sin, but rather to help save those that are where u used to be.
 
water said:
It is better for one to recognize he is not a good Catholic than to say he is a good Catholic but does not follow what Catholic is teaching.
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That’s like those two guys in the Bible, by the prayer wall. The one who says: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner”!
 
outfctrl

We all fall down - it’s only by the grace of God and our strength in His will that we have the power to get back up and continue to try.

If your friends start criticizing you - you know you are on the right path - keep up the good work.

A couple of suggestions: when those thoughts come, go for the Rosary in your pocket. Also leave pictures or statues of Mary and Saints of your choosing all around the house, especially the rooms where your sin is weakest - its difficult to be sinful when your intercessors are there with you (sometimes watching you) to protect you from harm. Buy some more CDs of Catholic music, chant, or other prayers to play and recite with while on your bike - it may help.

We are all on our paths - remember its a journey - not a destination - and we all need to work at it to gain the glory each day. Peace and blessings.
 
outfctrl said:
I have read every post here at lest twice. Last night I went to the Catholic Store and picked up a CD on the rosary to become familiar with how to say it.

I have stopped going to my Biker bar. Couldnt handle all those women in leather, so I just refuse to go now. My friends are critisizing me. Oh well.

I mostly ride alone. Bikeweek will be a real challenge for me. Makes beach wear modest. I probably wont go.

Anyways, Thank you all for your support. It makes me try harder knowing I am not alone in these temptations.
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Sounds like your life style is putting you in a position that is ripe with temptations. Going to Mass & Confession is part of living your faith.

Maybe you should also try finding ways to keep busy away from the bar & women in leather. Have you ever thought about joining a ministry at your parish? You would meet a whole new group of friends, who would understand the ups & downs of aspiring to live faith. You might even meet a nice single Catholic girl.

You might even find a few guys in your parish that ride. When I came home to the Catholic church almost 3 years ago, I was blessed to find more then a few guys that also enjoy fishing & hunting, you never know.

Stay home at night and exercise, read, garden, find a positive hobby. Theres a ton of great spiritual books on this site, but also get yourself a Catholic Bible & Catechism (great reading). Keep the TV off, go to bed early. Wake with the sunrise and Pray, and or exercise. Go to daily Mass as often as you can. these things do help.

Just a few suggestions that aid me.

Good luck bro, one thing you ain’t is alone.

Frank
 
As a 21yr old single guy in college, i’m definatley in the same situation as u. I know how HARD it really is. I’m at my strongest when my spirits are up and I feel God’s presence. Here are some things to try…all of which I’m going through right now:

-daily mass, daily prayer
-after confession, talk to the priest about it, they’ve actually OVERCOME it
-visit christopherwest.com

Realize that you WILL overcome it…Jesus will not let fail!
 
I am really trying. What gets me is this:

When temptation comes, you know it’s a sin, but you still do it.

I dont understand that. All you have to do is say no and stay on the right path. Instead, you commit the sin anyways. Why?

Is it because you know all you have to do is confess and be forgiven? It doesnt seem right. Commit the sin and God forgives? Sin again, God forgives.

All sins can be avoided, but we still do them. Why?

If God would say " Sin once and be forgiven, sin twice, shame on you"
Maybe, just maybe, we would try harder.
 
outfctrl said:
I am really trying. What gets me is this:

When temptation comes, you know it’s a sin, but you still do it.

I dont understand that. All you have to do is say no and stay on the right path. Instead, you commit the sin anyways. Why?
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May I ask how you say during the time of temptation? is there something in your mind that reminds you not to do it or some name you call out for help?

During a temptation, I would call Jesus, Mary and Joseph to help me or I would pray Hail Mary or Our Father. I also call my Guardian Angel and St. Michael the Archangel for their protection.

Basically, I call the entire Heaven to help me out. 😃
 
As a teenage male, I can identify a lot with you outfctrl. At my age it can be particularly tough, with all the hormones and stuff. Before I reverted to Catholicism, I tried so hard to resist temptation, but it was impossible. When I came back to the Church, I had issues with lustful desires, and you could bet I’d be at the confessional every Sunday (always to confess the same sin!!!). But now, resisting temptation feels easy for me, and I don’t have any great problems in that area. It’s about self-control, and the grace of God.
 
lizaanne said:
*" The holy Bishop, Saint Antoninus said, “The devil takes our shame away so that we sin with ease and then gives it back when we think about going to confession.” In other words the suppression of shame that makes sin possible, flares up again to make Confession seem impossible."
Hmmm… I was kinda bored, surfing the i-net… then read this…

Thanks… 🙂
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