I am so furious right now

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Masondoggy,

Whatever you decide, I am sure it will work out well. You are there. You know the people and personalities involved. On the forum here I do not ever recall seeing you get angry or upset nor do I recall seeing you over-react.

I do not think you are over-reacting here.

Instead, I am sure you are bringing your wisdom and a desire to keep the peace in your home. I am confident that you will find the best way to avoid making a difficult situation worse.

May God bless you and may He grant you wisdom and His peace.
  • rpp
 
Well…oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…

DH and I were prepared last night to sit down and have a serious discussion with them and basically tell them they had a day to figure something out or we will remove the dog ourselves…our plans got derailed when sil found out she’s pregnant last night…

Oh boy, oh boy…
 
It doesn’t change anything. But DH and I didn’t feel it was appropriate to bring it up when they just received news like that. We’re going to do it tonight instead. We definitely are not backing down over this. This really makes the situation more serious, imo. If that dog went after Jacob the way he did, he’ll go after a new baby as well.
 
wifeandmomoftwo said:
have to agree, what does her pregnancy have to do with the dog?
And is she “really” pregnant, or is this a ploy?
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She’s definitely pg. I saw the positive pregnancy test.

They’re very excited. We’re excited for them. But it certainly doesn’t change how we feel about this dog situation.
 
masondoggy to SIL …

“This is great! Now we can get rid of the dog to make roon for a new baby! I can’t wait!”

Not saying in a mean way, but sincere…👍
 
masondoggy said:
She’s definitely pg. I saw the positive pregnancy test.

They’re very excited. We’re excited for them. But it certainly doesn’t change how we feel about this dog situation.
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Ok, at least no one was trying to pull a fast one (so to speak).😃
 
For goodness sake - you’ve been given a neutral solution of calling a rescue to discuss a short to mid term foster situation.

That would be a win-win situation for everyone.

**Have you made the call? ** If not, I suspect that the dog has now morphed into something much bigger than itself. It is a symbol in a huge power struggle. (I mean no offense!)

It can take a while for a rescue to get back to you, so you could even post on craigslist.org

Yes, YOU shouldn’t have to be the one doing this. But this seems to me to be the path of least resistance.
 
Dacinom said:
Please talk to a priest immediately. Tell him this is urgent as you are considering leaving your home for an undetermined amount of time. You said you would be back for the Holidays but how do you know the dog will be gone? Are you just leaving for 3-4 days to make a point?

This situation has gotten seriously out of control. I am not sure what a priest will tell you to to. I too, am concerned about the children. This could potentially be very devastating to them.

I beleive you and your husband need spiritual guidance immediately. Please go.
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As of right now, I’m not going anywhere. We’ll see what happens when DH talks to his bil tonight. The only reason why I even considered going to my moms was to get the kids out of harms way until something is done. It’s not to make a point or cause drama. And it would only be long enough to give them a day or two to do something about the dog. Like I said, by Saturday I will remove the dog myself.

I am not, under any circumstances, leaving my husband. We’re on the same page here and he completely understands why I feel the need to take the kids to moms house. Not that he wants me to do that, but he understands.
 
Maybe I am missing something, but it doesn’t seem as if Masondoggy is leaving her husband. It seems more like when I took the kids to my mom’s for a few days after the furnace went out. I didn’t leave my husband, I just took my children to a more healthy enviroment until the problem could be resolved. This dog could be dangerous and until it can be taken care of, it may be best to remove the children.
The dog needs to leave. It sucks that you have to deal with it, but that is just the way it is. You are just trying to make it less upseting for everyone, nothing wrong with that. Dogs can be reformed (I know I have had a few aggressive dogs), but it takes a lot of time, and I would never trust the dog completely again. With a new baby on the way, I wouldn’t even consider it.
I hope all works out for you, I will keep you in my prayers.
 
The dog is gone.

I finally packed up the kids yesterday afternoon and took them to my moms. Within hours bil took the dog to my mil’s house. I am so, so angry that it took me having to leave my house to get something done and that they could’ve easily taken him over there a MONTH ago. :mad:

But anyways, at least it happened peacefully, there were no nasty confrontations or anything, that’s what I wanted to avoid. Hopefully things will go back to peace and harmony now.

I feel so much relief, and yet so much guilt for letting this circus go on so long.

I don’t really know what those two are thinking right now. Mil isn’t even allowed to have dogs in her apartment and what on earth do they think is going to happen when they bring a baby home? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’m angry because due to their stubborn stupidity, there are kids being put in serious danger over a darn dog. :mad: But at least it isn’t my kids anymore. They will never, ever be allowed over at their home as long as that dog is around.
 
masondoggy said:
The dog is gone.

I finally packed up the kids yesterday afternoon and took them to my moms. Within hours bil took the dog to my mil’s house. I am so, so angry that it took me having to leave my house to get something done and that they could’ve easily taken him over there a MONTH ago. :mad:

But anyways, at least it happened peacefully, there were no nasty confrontations or anything, that’s what I wanted to avoid. Hopefully things will go back to peace and harmony now.

I feel so much relief, and yet so much guilt for letting this circus go on so long.

I don’t really know what those two are thinking right now. Mil isn’t even allowed to have dogs in her apartment and what on earth do they think is going to happen when they bring a baby home? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’m angry because due to their stubborn stupidity, there are kids being put in serious danger over a darn dog. :mad: But at least it isn’t my kids anymore. They will never, ever be allowed over at their home as long as that dog is around.
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I was wondering how things were going to trun out.Glad to see that the dog is gone and that your kids are protected once again in your home. I would continue to pray for them. You can lead a horse to the river but you can’t force him to drink. You have shown your relatives an example (taking them in and allow them to live with you, putting your foot down about the dog etc) and it’s up to them to change. Enjoy your dog free Christmas!
 
I feel so much relief, and yet so much guilt for letting this circus go on so long.

please don’t feel toooo awfully bad about the time it took. God is like this with us, too. He gives us sooo many chances to choose good. That’s how you treated your inlaws.

I had wondered if sil’s sleeping all day was because of pregnancy. (I get a lot of early pregnancy symptoms that look like depression, too. they always pass.)

well, the buck’s been passed. at least the dog isn’t your problem anymore.

have a happy, blessed, safe Christmas!!
 
monicatholic said:
I had wondered if sil’s sleeping all day was because of pregnancy. (I get a lot of early pregnancy symptoms that look like depression, too. they always pass.)
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I think it probably has a lot to do with it. But when she does come out she looks just fine. So, imo (and believe me I’ve btdt, but I was 15X’s worse than she is), she can plop her butt out on the couch with a pillow and keep an eye on her own kid instead of expecting me to be the babysitter. But that’s a whole other issue, don’t even get me started. :mad:

Lord grant me patience.
 
MasonDoggie, I’m confused.
This family is financially strapped, yet the wife isn’t working?
Lays in bed all day? I assume you stay home as well, (forgive me if this is incorrect), so why cant she pay you to keep their child (you’re doing it anyway) and get a job to help out?
She should be able to work several months, if not all, of her pregnancy.
You have more patience than I do, b/c this would never happen in our house, family or no. My brother lived with us a time, after a prison sentence, trying to work and build up cash for his own place. Wasn’t long before he didn’t buy groceries, help with bills, and had friends calling all hours. Told people it was HIS house, and, we believe, doing drugs. He had to go, and he did.
It hurt me to put him out, but enough was enough. He later claimed we didn’t care about him, blah blah blah…
Seems like the other way round, you ask me.

I know your situation is a bit different, but I don’t see these people giving the respect and gratitude you DESERVE for helping them out. I also don’t see a major effort to change their situation either.
Sigh…
You are all in my prayers, hoping the new year is better for you all.
 
TC2 said:
MasonDoggie, I’m confused.
This family is financially strapped, yet the wife isn’t working?
Lays in bed all day? I assume you stay home as well, (forgive me if this is incorrect), so why cant she pay you to keep their child (you’re doing it anyway) and get a job to help out?
She should be able to work several months, if not all, of her pregnancy.
You have more patience than I do, b/c this would never happen in our house, family or no. My brother lived with us a time, after a prison sentence, trying to work and build up cash for his own place. Wasn’t long before he didn’t buy groceries, help with bills, and had friends calling all hours. Told people it was HIS house, and, we believe, doing drugs. He had to go, and he did.
It hurt me to put him out, but enough was enough. He later claimed we didn’t care about him, blah blah blah…
Seems like the other way round, you ask me.

I know your situation is a bit different, but I don’t see these people giving the respect and gratitude you DESERVE for helping them out. I also don’t see a major effort to change their situation either.
Sigh…
You are all in my prayers, hoping the new year is better for you all.
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I agree 100%. I can’t begin to tell you how aggravated I am. BUT, I’m cautious about how much I say to DH right now because I don’t want this to strain our relationship. This dog thing was enough right now. I’m going to back off right now and not say anything else to DH. He said they are talking about getting their own place next month. Hopefully I won’t have to keep mouth shut for long.
 
I can understand that.
Hopefully things will ease up for them, and they can find their own place. Again, praying for you all.
 
*she can plop her butt out on the couch with a pillow and keep an eye on her own kid instead of expecting me to be the babysitter. But that’s a whole other issue, don’t even get me started. *

yikes. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” 2 tim 3: 10.

i hope they find a place this month like they were talking about. otoh, they didn’t know what ‘tomorrow’ meant. a month might be a loooong time according to their reckoning.
 
monicatholic said:
i hope they find a place this month like they were talking about. otoh, they didn’t know what ‘tomorrow’ meant. a month might be a loooong time according to their reckoning.
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So true, so true…🙂

Well, anyways, I’m offering it ALL up and hopefully some poor soul is getting out of Purgatory over all of this. 👍
 
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