C
carjack
Guest
My mother did the best that she could under the circumstances. She met my dad at 14 years old. He is about 2 years older than her. My dad had a kid(my older brother) by 17. My mother started dating him and about 4 years later had me(I am a pill baby and she was taking antibiotics at the same time). They were not married. My father being the ladies man (at the time) told her that I wasn’t his. (both my parents have a Catholic background). He then marries another woman in the Catholic Church. He then tells my mother that he made a mistake and leaves his wife. While he is living in my mother’s house, my brother from his then wife was conceived. My dad still proceeded in divorce(him and his wife wanted the divorce). Then he got my mother pregnant with my twin sisters. My mother always wore the “pants” in the family. She baptized me Catholic. I went to Catholic school in 1st grade(I didn’t like it), so I didn’t go back and then she put me in Catholic school again in 7th grade(as a punishment for doing academically bad in 6th grade). I then went back to public school and never did academically bad. My first “sexual intercourse” talk had nothing to do with God. My father told me at age nine, that boys can have alot of intercourse and they are “cool”, if a girl does it then she is a “hoe”. He said if I am going to be promiscuous then be a “closet hoe”. 
My mother never had the talk with me. Needless to say I lost my “innocence” at 12. I was promiscuous from that point on. Until about age 23. At that point I had 4 partners and got pregnant and didn’t even know who the father was. I was so scared of my father( I was living with him at the time) to tell him that I didn’t know who the father was, I got an abortion. I was using condoms and none of them worked. I remember my mother saying if your gonna do your business use something. I had been taking birth control pills since 14. She told me if I get pregnant I am not having the baby. I never got pregnant while living in my mothers house. I knew that she would keep her word. My sister was 13 when she got pregnant and my mother made her get an abortion. She was a “feminist”. I think my mother traumatized my sister at the time. My sister was going to keep the baby and I was going to get a apartment for us. I was 20 at the time. My mother gave my sis the guilt trip so my sis ended up getting a abortion. My sis got pregnant at 16 and my mother said, “this is on you and you are not going to blame me for your decisions”. She kept my little nephew. She had another baby at 20. Her twin had a baby at 19. My dad condemns them both for having kids before they are married. The nerve. I never told him about my abortion. I didn’t want to get condemned from him.
I want to tell my mother that I wish she would have told me that God thought I was precious and would have wanted me to save myself for marriage. That would of made a world of difference to me. When she did find out about that I was active. She told me to go to planned parenthood and have me take the birth control pill and the Depro Vera Shot. She didn’t tell me that I was better than that. My father was more worried if I was going to have a reputation as a “hoe”. I want to ask them why? My mother has the mentality that if I show anger or frustration that she is still my mother and she will knock my teeth out. I don’t know how to approach her. Any advice would be welcome. Sorry for the venting.
My mother never had the talk with me. Needless to say I lost my “innocence” at 12. I was promiscuous from that point on. Until about age 23. At that point I had 4 partners and got pregnant and didn’t even know who the father was. I was so scared of my father( I was living with him at the time) to tell him that I didn’t know who the father was, I got an abortion. I was using condoms and none of them worked. I remember my mother saying if your gonna do your business use something. I had been taking birth control pills since 14. She told me if I get pregnant I am not having the baby. I never got pregnant while living in my mothers house. I knew that she would keep her word. My sister was 13 when she got pregnant and my mother made her get an abortion. She was a “feminist”. I think my mother traumatized my sister at the time. My sister was going to keep the baby and I was going to get a apartment for us. I was 20 at the time. My mother gave my sis the guilt trip so my sis ended up getting a abortion. My sis got pregnant at 16 and my mother said, “this is on you and you are not going to blame me for your decisions”. She kept my little nephew. She had another baby at 20. Her twin had a baby at 19. My dad condemns them both for having kids before they are married. The nerve. I never told him about my abortion. I didn’t want to get condemned from him.I want to tell my mother that I wish she would have told me that God thought I was precious and would have wanted me to save myself for marriage. That would of made a world of difference to me. When she did find out about that I was active. She told me to go to planned parenthood and have me take the birth control pill and the Depro Vera Shot. She didn’t tell me that I was better than that. My father was more worried if I was going to have a reputation as a “hoe”. I want to ask them why? My mother has the mentality that if I show anger or frustration that she is still my mother and she will knock my teeth out. I don’t know how to approach her. Any advice would be welcome. Sorry for the venting.
i am not sure you should bother trying to talk to her… You may just end up more miserable than before… I know what i am tlking about because i have been really depressed… miserable over how some relationship or other didn’t “work out”… Then i had to realize that the person i was trying to have a relationship with… doesn’t play by the same rules… etc… and tht the person may never… act “right”… That’s his/her choice… but i don’t feel it is right to let others abuse us…