I broke down last night

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dolphinlove

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I suffer with anxiety disorder. Last night i went over to a friends place and just broke down, i ended up drinking my problems away (yes im a recovering alcoholic) and i ended up sleeping with my friend.
The thing is, i just had enough of this anxiety disorder, being on edge all the time really got to me and i needed some sort of release.
The thing is, i dont feel bad for what i did. I know i should, but i just dont, and i dont know why. Its scaring me to tell you the truth.
I know i should be feeling remorseful, but at the moment, im just feeling like, so what, i did it, now get over it and move on sort of thing.
I know what i did is wrong, and i want to go to confession about it, but should i go when im feeling like this?
I do love God so much, but to not feel bad for what i did is a bit scary for me.
Sorry for going on, im just confused. Anyone got any ideas on why all of a sudden i dont feel bad? Is it cause i could be at the end of my teather about this anxiety and couldnt take it anymore?
Im not suicidal or anything, but it just gets me really down.
 
Yes you should go right away or by Saturday if you can and set up an appointment to speak privately with your priest, even an 30 min time will help maybe once a week.

We all get weak but He is strong, praying for you! D.
 
My name is Dan, I’m an alcoholic.

Just a suggestion, get to a meeting. Get a good Catholic sponsor. Get to confession. You probably don’t feel complete remorse as you may not have fully recovered yet, and or feeling different because of your experiences last night. This too shall pass. It’s hard to commune with God when you’re drunk. At least that’s my experience.
Just suggestions, do what you will. Good Luck Dan
 
Dolphin, are you being treated for your anxiety disorder? Counselling as well as medication?
 
dolphinlove said:
The thing is, i dont feel bad for what i did. I know i should, but i just dont, and i dont know why. Its scaring me to tell you the truth.
I know i should be feeling remorseful, but at the moment, im just feeling like, so what, i did it, now get over it and move on sort of thing.
I know what i did is wrong, and i want to go to confession about it, but should i go when im feeling like this?
I do love God so much, but to not feel bad for what i did is a bit scary for me.
Sorry for going on, im just confused. Anyone got any ideas on why all of a sudden i dont feel bad? Is it cause i could be at the end of my teather about this anxiety and couldnt take it anymore?
Im not suicidal or anything, but it just gets me really down.
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I have been told before in confession (having confessed that I am not unhappy about what I did, and all) that being emotionally unhappy about your sin is NOT a requirement for making a good confession As long as you have a firm purpose not to do it again. You can be tearing your hair out, and STILL not have a firm purpose to change—and you can also be emotionally FLAT, as you describe, and have this desire to change it. In short, the spiritual life is not about feelings. So just go, Dolphin, and be immersed in the water of mercy (no pun intended:D )

I hope you are getting some other help from a doctor about your anxiety—I am going tomorrow. Anxiety and depression sure do cloud the spiritual life with unnececcessary doubts—Just go to confession, and mostly forgive yourself.
 
I think it is interesting that you say you don’t feel bad about it, yet you came here to post about it and to seek help about it. You may just be denying the pain of your decision or trying to cope or just not add more anxiety to your current problems. Trust me, if you really didn’t care about it, you wouldn’t be worried about confession or anything else. It is your conscience working on you.That it is good that you have a conscience because that is what helps us make better decisions in the future.

I would suggest that you go to confession and start with a fresh slate again because alot of anxiety is caused by a guilty conscience. Second, go talk to your Dr. about anxiety. I did and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I always thought I was depressed, and something was wrong with me etc. and then I started taking medication for the anxiety. I had been simply worrying myself into unhappiness, rash and impulsive decisions, and social isolation. Perhaps you drink to avoid the stress and worry. Trust me, there are some medications that can absolutely change your life with the right balance. But go talk to your priest and go to confession. It will keep eating you up until you do.
 
Dolphin,

The fact that you are bearing your soul here tells me that you do care! You have an addiction and unfortunately, it is a vicious cycle. I have family members who are in AA and understand how traumatic addiction is. Perhaps you are shut down emotionally? Don’t wait! As time goes by, you will start to beat up on yourself. Go and talk to your Priest or one that you feel comfortable speaking with/or a trusted friend/counselor. Go to confession. The Lord loves you and will be waiting for you! God’s mercy is greater than our sins.

I will keep you in my prayers tonight before the blessed Sacrament!

Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with you, blessed are you among women, and blessed is the Fruit of your womb, Jesus!

Mother Mary, intercede for us!

Lord I lift up our sister and ask for your blessings and peace to come to her. You always reached out to those who were hurting and we know you are reaching out to her right now. Bring your healing to her heart and her mind and her emotions. Show her how You love her and are eager to give her Your forgiveness and mercy. You love us even in our sin, and will not desert us or forsake us. Thank you for all that you are going to do. In Jesus name we pray. Amen
 
Yes you should go to confession. And get yourself to a meeting pronto.

I am also confused as to what kind of “friend” would allow their alcoholic friend to get drunk in their presence/home and further take advantage of that person while she is intoxicated. I think you should find some new friends. Ones that have your best interests at heart.

My husband is a recovered alcoholic. So I am familiar with the struggles that alcoholism brings. He has cousins similar to your friend and after they let him leave their house drunk he hasn’t had any relationship with them for about the past 7-8 years. Yes he totalled the car and got arrested. Thankfully he didn’t injure anyone or himself. He realized (after sobering up) even though these people were family they did not concern themselves with what was in his best interests.
 
Yes it took its time but i feel as guilty as anything now.
I also went to confession this morning once it kicked in.
I feel better that i went to confession, but i still feel really low for what i did.
Lily… I did counsilling for 9 months and that finished, but im going to one again in 2 weeks (first available appointment)
Thanks for all your concern and ive noted what you all said and have taken it under my wing.
God bless
 
Mary_ann_R said:
Dolphin,

The fact that you are bearing your soul here tells me that you do care! You have an addiction and unfortunately, it is a vicious cycle. I have family members who are in AA and understand how traumatic addiction is. Perhaps you are shut down emotionally? Don’t wait! As time goes by, you will start to beat up on yourself. Go and talk to your Priest or one that you feel comfortable speaking with/or a trusted friend/counselor. Go to confession. The Lord loves you and will be waiting for you! God’s mercy is greater than our sins.

I will keep you in my prayers tonight before the blessed Sacrament!

Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with you, blessed are you among women, and blessed is the Fruit of your womb, Jesus!

Mother Mary, intercede for us!

Lord I lift up our sister and ask for your blessings and peace to come to her. You always reached out to those who were hurting and we know you are reaching out to her right now. Bring your healing to her heart and her mind and her emotions. Show her how You love her and are eager to give her Your forgiveness and mercy. You love us even in our sin, and will not desert us or forsake us. Thank you for all that you are going to do. In Jesus name we pray. Amen
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:amen:

I’m taking you to Mass with me tomorrow, dolphin hun :yup: :highprayer:
 
dolphinlove said:
Thanks mate, i went this morning 👍
Thank God for St Pats and the long confession times they have there!
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You went to St Pats in Circular Quay? No way - I was there at the 10.30am Mass 😃 😛

I took you with me anyway I guess - I always pray for the needs of all the CAF members.
 
LilyM said:
You went to St Pats in Circular Quay? No way - I was there at the 10.30am Mass 😃 😛

I took you with me anyway I guess - I always pray for the needs of all the CAF members.
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Oh yeah, i was there!! lol
I go there a lot for masses, my uncle is a Marist priest.
I love that church, my Mum and Dad were married there years ago.
 
dolphinlove said:
I suffer with anxiety disorder. Last night i went over to a friends place and just broke down, i ended up drinking my problems away (yes im a recovering alcoholic) and i ended up sleeping with my friend.
The thing is, i just had enough of this anxiety disorder, being on edge all the time really got to me and i needed some sort of release.
The thing is, i dont feel bad for what i did. I know i should, but i just dont, and i dont know why. Its scaring me to tell you the truth.
I know i should be feeling remorseful, but at the moment, im just feeling like, so what, i did it, now get over it and move on sort of thing.
I know what i did is wrong, and i want to go to confession about it, but should i go when im feeling like this?
I do love God so much, but to not feel bad for what i did is a bit scary for me.
Sorry for going on, im just confused. Anyone got any ideas on why all of a sudden i dont feel bad? Is it cause i could be at the end of my teather about this anxiety and couldnt take it anymore?
Im not suicidal or anything, but it just gets me really down.
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I used alcohol to fight the symptoms of anxiety, and I know all to well that it is physical as well as mental. Medication if needed, much exercise and take a miltivitamin every day. Keep busy! I’m still working on all of this, just remember that this disorder will not be overcome by means of self pity, a spartan-like regimen is often necessary… I say this as a sufferer of anxiety and depression for years, and one with friends with the same problems! Spiritually: just pray and do what you can, and don’t feel overwheled or defeated!

May God help you!
Most Holy Theotokos, save us!
 
Dolphinlove I hope you do not mind my open and honest views . Well I feel you are yearning and starving for real love in your life . I think you have so much love in you to give to someone . The reason you are not caring about the way you acted is denial . You really do care , but you are searching for a way out of your pain . You run to drinking and sleeping with someone as a way to soothe your heart . Anxiety is a deep rooted fear and hurt and worry within you . God knows your heart and your real motives . Pray to GOD always and stay connected . I am praying for you . Lord stand by your child Dolphinlove and lift her up to a better life full of your joy and true love . Praise the Lord . thank you Lord , in the name of Jesus , amen . John
 
johnbilancia said:
Dolphinlove I hope you do not mind my open and honest views . Well I feel you are yearning and starving for real love in your life . I think you have so much love in you to give to someone . The reason you are not caring about the way you acted is denial . You really do care , but you are searching for a way out of your pain . You run to drinking and sleeping with someone as a way to soothe your heart . Anxiety is a deep rooted fear and hurt and worry within you . God knows your heart and your real motives . Pray to GOD always and stay connected . I am praying for you . Lord stand by your child Dolphinlove and lift her up to a better life full of your joy and true love . Praise the Lord . thank you Lord , in the name of Jesus , amen . John
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Ive never really thought about it like that, but i really think you hit the nail on the head…
God bless you for opening my eyes.
 
I am so happy that posters in this thread have been helpful to you and that you have been able to go to Confession. Having suffered anxiety and panic problems in the past, I know how very very distressing, even frightening, they can be. You sure have been under tremendous stress as well as trying to cope with alchohol problems. I think you are very brave and that you have great Faith…you probaly dont feel this at all - but you never would have sought help in this forum nor gone to Confession without it. No, we dont have to actually feel sorrow for our sin…the very fact you went to Confession with such honesty would tell your Confessor heaps indeed. I am just so happy you have been able to get help that has helped you. In dealing in the past with my own Bipolar condition and frequent severe episodes, I had to learn the hard way that alchohol only complicated things and solved nothing. God has given you quite a cross to bear. I will be keeping you in prayer and with thanksgiving too and admiration. Thank you again for being so brave under real stress and sharing so much of yourself with such honesty…it gives great witness and encouragement.

…Blessings … Barb:)
 
BarbaraTherese said:
I am so happy that posters in this thread have been helpful to you and that you have been able to go to Confession. Having suffered anxiety and panic problems in the past, I know how very very distressing, even frightening, they can be. You sure have been under tremendous stress as well as trying to cope with alchohol problems. I think you are very brave and that you have great Faith…you probaly dont feel this at all - but you never would have sought help in this forum nor gone to Confession without it. No, we dont have to actually feel sorrow for our sin…the very fact you went to Confession with such honesty would tell your Confessor heaps indeed. I am just so happy you have been able to get help that has helped you. In dealing in the past with my own Bipolar condition and frequent severe episodes, I had to learn the hard way that alchohol only complicated things and solved nothing. God has given you quite a cross to bear. I will be keeping you in prayer and with thanksgiving too and admiration. Thank you again for being so brave under real stress and sharing so much of yourself with such honesty…it gives great witness and encouragement.

…Blessings … Barb:)
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Thank you Barb.
Ive got to take myself out of the situations of temptation.
Which i intend to do right away.
Thank you for your understanding post.
God Bless
 
dolphinlove said:
Yes it took its time but i feel as guilty as anything now.
I also went to confession this morning once it kicked in.
I feel better that i went to confession, but i still feel really low for what i did.
Lily… I did counsilling for 9 months and that finished, but im going to one again in 2 weeks (first available appointment)
Thanks for all your concern and ive noted what you all said and have taken it under my wing.
God bless
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Praise the Lord!

I am so happy to hear that you made it to confession! Pray and ask the Lord to take away those negative feelings. He loves you so much and wants you to come to Him. I will continue to pray for you Dolphin! You are a beautiful creation of our Lord. :yup: Remember that! :hug3:
 
Mary_ann_R said:
Praise the Lord!

I am so happy to hear that you made it to confession! Pray and ask the Lord to take away those negative feelings. He loves you so much and wants you to come to Him. I will continue to pray for you Dolphin! You are a beautiful creation of our Lord. :yup: Remember that! :hug3:
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So are you Mary Ann, thank you
God bless
 
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