I can’t help but feel hopeless

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Someboy113

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It’s safe to say that I’ve been struggling with lust for a while now. I understand that I’m a teenager and that it may be harder for me, but it almost feels impossible to overcome. Ive asked you all for advice, tried some of it, and yet I still fall. I constantly find myself saying sorry to God, then later on falling to lust again. I go to confession every Saturday to confess lust, go maybe a day or two if I’m lucky, then fall to lust again. Someone on here told me that lust can often feel like compulsion, and he/she was so right. It’s like I have zero control over myself in certain situations. And when I do have control, I will convince myself that it’s not bad and look anyways. It kills me to think that I’m always in the state of mortal sin. I tell God I want to build my relationship with him, then always find myself ignoring him. At this point I feel like I’m taking advantage of God by confessing every Saturday. I don’t even feel the same as I used to feel after confession because I just know I will fall again. I understand that many of you would highly encourage I get a spiritual director, but that is very hard for me. I have social anxiety and I don’t want to bother anyone. Plus, how would they even help stop me from lusting. I always have time to pray the rosary every night but don’t do it anymore. I will try to start that again tonight. At this point all I can ask of you all is to keep me in your prayers, I need all the help I can get. Thanks and God bless.
 
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Someboy113 said:
It kills me to think that I’m always in the state of mortal sin.
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Are you? Technically you might be but my gut feeling says it is not as serious as you think.
Remember you are not the only hypocrite. A lot of us are the same. Pay lip service to God and do the opposite.
St Paul says “why do I do the very thing I hate?”. This shows how the heart is willing but the flesh is weak.
I’m not going to judge you and I think God does make allowances for “restless loins” in our youth especially.
To be Christian is to have hope. Satan may convince you that your situation is hopeless. Stop listening to him.
 
Basically thumbnails of YouTube videos, random posts I come across on Instagram, stuff like that
 
Thank you goodcatholic! Your post did offer me some hope
 
Maybe refrain from the gadgets and internet for a while. Try and minimize your exposure to that trash. Offer the struggle you face up for lent. Turn your suffering into grace. Take comfort in knowing all men suffer from this. More so at a certain age.

You may want to speak to your doctor and priest about some of this. Not only for spiritual guidance, but I’ve heard some types of anti depressants help with controlling sex drive. Not saying this is your solution. I myself would use medicine as a last resort.
 
Thanks for your advice chief. It’s just really hard for me to refrain from using my phone without getting so bored. Also, lust also occurs when I’m at school. I’d say 70-80% of girls at my school wear yoga pants daily, and with me being a teenager, sometimes my eyes start to wander. I can sometimes stop myself from looking again or having bad thoughts, but other times it truly feels like something that simply must happen.
 
Somebody, please don’t take this the wrong way, but in your other thread and this one, you seem to offer a lot of reasons why you fail.

The bottom line is that there is nothing anyone can do or suggest for you, if you are not willing to put forth the effort. Suggestions have been made to ease off the phone, but you have an excuse why you can’t. You want to lay the blame on girls at school, but that’s not right either. The problem is that you are looking.

Please don’t tell me that I don’t understand because I am not a guy. You have to look at this as almost like an addiction. Only you can stop it, and only if you take steps to stop. If people want to stop smoking, they sometimes say that they change their behavior of what triggers them to smoke.

Have you actually asked your confessor what he suggests would help, or do you just confess and leave?
 
I find you to always be in a way angered towards my posts. I’ve never once read one of your replies and felt anything but hurt. Please no longer reply to my posts if you are only going to criticize me. I don’t know how perfect you are Irishmom, you may be a saint, but I am surely not, and hearing your critisizm does nothing but make me sad.
 
Someone suggested something like this: if you’re tempted by lust, look beyond the flesh and imagine the object of your lust as skeleton.

A bit drastic and perhaps morbid, but better than continuing in wandering thoughts…
 
Thanks for your simple advice that I will definitely try nuclear. Anything helps👍🏻
 
Not angered. I just give a straightforward answer that maybe you are not used to hearing, and won’t hold your hand while telling you the truth. I am sorry if that makes you sad, and I won’t post on anymore of your threads.
 
Thank goodness. You act as if you know everything about me and my life. I can assure you that a mother and a teen boys lives are very different.
 
Op, remember that God is never absent in your life. He is with you at every point of your existence, because He has created you for Himself. He’s loved you so much that he has made point to put you here on this earth along with the rest of us. His loving mercy is endless, He is forgiving to the last, and you are not alone in your temptations. Human nature is such that it blocks itself into its own little corner: we think we are the only one suffering; we admire our fellow men as saints and can’t understand why they don’t suffer like I do.

Yet that is never the case. You are a saint in the making. You recognise where you fail. You know your temptations, and you acknowledge them. Furthermore, you’re braver than most: you confess them to Christ. Knowingly, and willingly. Keep your head held high because you are trying, and that’s all that God asks. He asks that you be obedient, and from your short post that is apparent. You are good. You sin, I sin, the posters here sin. We sin venially and mortally.

What matters is penitence. Lent is coming up. Consider your penances for these sins. What can you give up? What can you take up? I also go to confession on Saturdays as that’s when it is at our basilica. Perhaps we could seek a more regular confession? Say the Rosary daily? Begin a novena? Give up one pleasure?
 
Thank you so much loyalviews. You helped me in ways you can’t imagine. God bless.
 
Don’t stop praying the Rosary.

Eh, are you actually lusting? It may just be you are having actions that are more or less instinctual or not chosen, and not really liable for.

The point is to just look away when you see something bad, and don’t think about it.
Don’t stop praying please.

You’re also a kid, it gets easier. But, look, we need to allow the grace to work through us.
 
Someboy113 said:
I understand that many of you would highly encourage I get a spiritual director, but that is very hard for me. I have social anxiety and I don’t want to bother anyone. Plus, how would they even help stop me from lusting.
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The reason we expect it would help is that spiritual directors have training and experience. Regarding a specific issue like lust, they understand it from different angles: how it relates to the bigger picture of your entire spiritual life, the psychological aspects of lust and temptation, how other people (including themselves) have overcome it, and some of the common stumbling blocks and setbacks that other people have experienced in their path to holiness, and how they got past them.

I understand that it seems difficult and causes you anxiety, but think about it and keep an open mind about seeking the guidance of a spiritual director.

Also here is a helpful article I found, from the Our Sunday Visitor newsletter:
What is a Spiritual Director?
 
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I sympathize with you man. I just got out of my teen years and also have some social anxiety, especially around girls 😂
 
Do you have a girl that is a friend? Sometimes having a girl to hang out with and talk about some personal things with really helps. I’m talking about a real friendship here. It sounds like you depend too much on ur phone and social media for entertainment. That is not your fault but a trap of modern society. People need to communicate with people face to face. Do you have a youth group at Church. Get involved with people and put your phone away. Looking at yoga pants is a temptation and a prelude to lust, U-tube videos sound more like porn than lusting. Trying to be honest here…
For Lent why not put your phone away for certain hours when you know you don’t need it. Like I lock mine in the trunk when I’m driving to avoid the temptation of answering a call while driving lol)
You can ignore this and call me a name … just trying to help ya kid…
 
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