I can’t help but feel hopeless

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Understand that being hopless is from Satan.
You are still teen,but some people struggle untill middle age with such stuff.
Overcoming cannot happen in a single moment.
It is a process,you know God advise us to forgive 700*7 times…your will to stop is very pleasing for God so He will help you…dont stop praying Rosary or repeating Our,Father or Hail Mary…hate the sin,but not yourself.
No saint without past,no sinner without future…Saint is a person who keeps trying
 
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I’m sorry that you think some answers are hurtful, buy that is probably because Irishmom’s words touched a nerve.

She is right, you keep making excuses. That’s normal too, especially for a teenager, but that is not going to help you either.

You need to speak to your priest and ask for some guidance, little things you can do to help. And then you just need to keep trying.

Pray, get lots of exercise, eat right, get enough sleep,find a hobby that takes your mind off things…do something.

But do not fall into the trap of thinking you are unloved and unforgivable, that is from the Evil One.
 
Irishmom2 said:
You want to lay the blame on girls at school, but that’s not right either. The problem is that you are looking.
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As a girl, I actually totally disagree with Irishmom, and I commend you for your mature response. I don’t believe that you are fully laying the blame on the girls at your school, you are simply stating that you find it hard to fight against lust when you see girls dressed that way. That is actually a completely normally male response.
Fashions may have changed, but the way that men are wired has not changed. God created men to be visually stimulated by the beauty of the female body. This is a good thing, a beautiful thing actually, to encourage nuptial love and procreation.
Unfortunately in today’s world, men now have visual access to women’s bodies outside of marriage, due to immodest fashions, pornography, etc. With the fashions of today (tight yoga pants, low tops, mini skirts, that kind of thing) so many good men struggle with where to place their eyes. They shouldn’t be picked on and abused when they state that they struggle to maintain purity when a girl is dressed a certain way! It is only natural that they would have those thoughts/feelings! However, men should never goggle at a girl like she is eye candy for their own pleasure (which you are not doing) and if they do feel tempted, they should always fight against the desire to look and any thoughts that arise (which is what you are doing, well done, and keep doing this).
A lot of women today are angered when men speak about fashion and lust, and state that they can dress however they want, and men shouldn’t lust after them. This is flawed thinking though, because of how men are designed! Maintaining and upholding purity in a society is a two-way process, where both the men and the women have important roles. Both should strive to obtain pure hearts and minds through prayer, both should avert their eyes if necessary, and both should dress and act in ways that are modest. And no, I don’t mean that women have to be covered from neck to ankles, or wear a full burqa or anything like that 😀 Just dress in a way that highlights that we are daughters of God, and that our bodies are worthy of respect. Men should do the same!
In a society where all men and all women do not fully commit to purity in these ways, it can make it harder for those who are committed to purity.
 
OP, never give up on your endeavor to holiness. Some of the greatest Saints struggled against lust (Saint Mary Magdalene and Saint Augustine, just to name a few). Their constant battle against this sin was what made them into the great Saints that they are.
What LoyalViews said was very true and very beautiful, and they said everything better than I could 🙂 Keep striving for Sainthood, keep up the prayers, keep going to Confession and Holy Communion. If you never give up, God will prevail in the end.
Also, see if you can find a Church near you that offers Perpetual Adoration, or has the Blessed Sacrament on display at certain times during the week. Making an effort to visit Jesus, your best friend and your Saviour, who is truly present in the Blessed Sacrament, will have a profound effect on your life - it has in mine, and in many people that I know! Jesus longs for us to visit him in the Blessed Sacrament, and waits for us there, ready to flood our souls with the strength and the graces that we need. Please give weekly Adoration a shot, I know that you won’t regret it 🙂
You are in my prayers, God bless!
 
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I fought with sins against purity for months and those were really tought months for me… Always fighting, always falling, always confessing and starting again. A lot of tears. So I compassion you. I don’t say I don’t have temptations now, but it is much easier now, thank God! I am also socially anxious sometimes. I could give you tons of advice, because I read a lot about this topic when I had those problems.

First of all, resolve to fight until you win. Pray to God to set you free and give you strength not to sin against chastity, especially not mortally.
Second, pray every day (you can pray the rosary, and it would also be great for you to read the Bible and some spiritual books). You need to pray daily. Especially pray when in temptation. It is necessary to pray when the temptation comes, otherwise you’ll be overcome. That’s what St Alphonsus Liguori says. Pray at least a Hail Mary everyday for the virtue of chastity.
Third, do some penance. Fasting could help you a lot! There are also some other mortifications that could be useful. Cold shower was helpful for me (but don’t catch a cold!). But, here I must tell you, it would be important for you to find a spiritual director, especially because some greater penitential acts shouldn’t be practiced without permission of a confessor (for the sake of your physical and psychological health, and for the sake of avoiding vainity). I know it’s hard for you because of your anxiety, but pray for strength and find a priest whom you can trust and who could talk with you at least every month for 5-10 minutes about your spiritual needs. You are not a burden, priests should be there to help us.
Fourth, confess often. At least once a month. If you fall in grave sin, confess right away, even if you must confess everyday. I was in similar phase for a while. Frequent confession gives you much grace and prevents lust from growing after you sin.
Fifth, communicate frequently (of course, first confess grave sins). If you are scrupulous and sometimes aren’t sure if something is a grave sin, you should advise with your confessor. I was scrupulous too. Believe me, having spiritual director is the best and perhaps the only solution to this problem. Some people go nuts because of scruples.
Sixth, be patient and don’t be discouraged. Resolve to fight and persevere, even if you have to fight for months. God will help you. But you also have to be determined and make use of any means necessary to overcome this sin. But for some more radical means, you should talk with spiritual director.
And the most important thing: avoid every occasion which may lead to sin. Prolonged computer use, being bored etc. You have to see for yourself how you can avoid such occasions. This is necessary and should actually be number one advice.
When lust comes, sometimes it helps to hit oneself. Pain drives away lust. But don’t hurt yourself too much or become a masochist. Spiritual direction!
Praying for you.
 
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Wow! THIS IS EXACTLY what I’m going through too! Im a girl though. I have mild SSA, so I understand the clothes bit.

I had the problem with the phone too. It was YouTube and Instagram as well for me. I travel for 2 hours everyday by bus and I simply don’t know what to do in that time. I couldn’t bear sinning any longer, so I installed an app locker and asked my brother to use a password on YouTube. Works like a charm. Decided to have a book always with me. Also, since I love studying, I just bury myself in text books. Over time, I have developed some resistance to these thoughts, feelings and impulses. Studying has somehow helped me feel less lustful (maybe because all the creative energy goes away there?) Sometimes I simply have to watch videos, and I end up sinning.

I still have the problem though. What I’m gonna do is exercise every day till I get exhausted, spend quality time with friends and family. I also use the Ignatian Examen every night. Helps me to find out what kinda situations put me into trouble. I’m also gonna join the Angelic Warfare Confraternity, to get extra help and also to do reparation. When the lust or SSA gets too much to handle, I excuse myself from where ever I am, go to a private place, take a few deep breaths, pray to Our Lady, come up with a mini plan, and then come back. If I find that the situation is way out of control, or makes me feel like I’m a dirty sinner, I simply avoid that person or situation. It’s extreme and you may end up losing the person, but I need my peace of mind.

You can do what I do and learn a new hobby or skill or take up a new sport. Sometimes you fail, and God will help you get stronger from your failures. If you feel like you’re abusing confession, just tell that to the priest, or pray about it. Again, I am going through exactly what you’re going through right now. I used to have severe anxiety over it. But then I trusted God with my weakness. He told me He loves me even when I sin. That makes me feel so bad, coz it hurts God à lot. It feels like I’m taking my faith lightly. In fact I am, because I went overboard with everything and got hurt so badly. Even priests used to look at me like I’m cuckoo or some kinda sex addict. I feel so ashamed to even ask God pardon these days, it’s so empty. But I know that one day, we will be together. I’m waiting and trying to do my bit till then. Also after this post, I think I’ll just try hard once again lol.

The only temptations that you have are the same temptations that all people have. But you can trust God. He will not let you be tempted more than you can bear. But when you are tempted, God will also give you a way to escape that temptation. Then you will be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 ERV

As for me, today I will make you like a strong city, an iron column, a bronze wall. You will be able to stand against everyone in the land, against the kings of the land of Judah, the leaders of Judah, the priests of Judah, and against the people of the land of Judah. All those people will fight against you, but they will not defeat you, because I am with you, and I will save you.” This message is from the Lord.
Jeremiah 1:18‭-‬19 ERV
 
Thank you so much for understanding petite_reverie. I’m not trying to “make excuses” I just happen to run into things that every person runs into that makes me fall to temptation.
 
If you look at a cute girl, and you immediately condemn yourself, you are making things 10,000 times harder than they have to be. When you see a cute girl in a form-revealing outfit, think to yourself about the truth: she’s beautiful, God made her that way, and (unless you plan to marry her) she’s not for you. Simple as that.

Looking two seconds too long is not the end of the world. Repent, turn away from sin, and pursue Jesus! But don’t go thinking that looking two seconds too long is automatically lust. Once you start assuming you are in serious sin without evidence, then your defenses will be lowered, and you will be more likely to keep falling.
 
CilladeRoma said:
She is right, you keep making excuses.
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He keeps making excuses because he misunderstands the moral law. A proper understanding of the law would show him that he is not perpetually in mortal sin merely for not immediately having his eyes bounce whenever he sees a sexually attractive female.
 
Do you know where I can get a better understanding of the moral law?
 
catherine98 said:
When lust comes, sometimes it helps to hit oneself. Pain drives away lust. But don’t hurt yourself too much or become a masochist.
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I would strongly advise against striking oneself or inflicting pain.

@catherine98, it could do lasting harm to recommend this to a teenager in the grips of guilt and/or despair.

@Someboy113, remember that one of the great principles of Christianity is the dignity of the human person. That principle urges us to live chastely, and also demands that we respect and take care of our bodies and minds.
 
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That is a really good question. I would recommend the videos of Father Michael Schmitz.
 
True, I don’t plan on hitting myself, especially at school in front of everyone.
 
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