I can't feel Gods Love for me

[Catolico]

MariaGorettiGrl:

Could you talk to your priest? Sometimes your priest will also know of councellors who can work around your financial inability to pay them.

It would be hypocritical for me to say “There is hope!” without confessing that I’m in very much the same boat you are. I have had depression for most of my life and, even with the help of doctors and medication, have not been able to beat it yet. It weakens my immunity, so I get sick a lot and it makes it hard for me to sleep. I, too, struggle with masturbation and everytime I fall, I feel like the worst person ever! On the rare occasions that I ever feel “inspired”, it never lasts more than a few hours. I have trouble feeling God’s love even when I’m before the Eucharist. There have been times when hell didn’t seem to me like it could be any worse than this life. It was only through unfelt grace from God that I was able to keep going.

But as I read your post, besides taking comfort in the thought that I am not alone in my trials, I couldn’t help but see that God has a plan for you and your full recovery will come when the time is right. It’s so much easier for me to think that God will help you than to accept that He will help me. The cold, hard truth is that He already has been helping the both of us. The fact that you and I both want to do the right thing and suffer so when we fail proves that God is there, for where there is goodness, there is God.

I don’t know why God allows us to face this suffering and with so little consolation. But by perservering and offering up our pain, we are doing some good that is only known to God. God never lets anyone suffer needlessly or alone. Even when we can’t feel Him, He has never left us. For some reason, the time when we feel abandoned by Him is the time that He is nearest to us.

Hold strong! Relief will come. God will not let this torture break you! And when you feel alone, I am here. I don’t know much about you, but I like to think everyone on this message board is a friend, sappy as it may sound. I know I will not be the only one praying for you.

And know that you aren’t the worst kind of sinner. Have a little love for youself. Those who never even try are far worse off than you or me. God knows our intentions and our weaknesses and He is merciful.

You’re loved, Shameless.

I have another suggestion for you shameless. Read what MariaGorettiGrl wrote here very carefully. Do it more than once.

MariaGorettiGrl, God Bless you for writing this post.

 

[Shameless]

Beebs:

Shameless
I didn’t see you mention confession.
Confession will allow you to get closer to God and allow his grace to help overcome you addiction.
I’m not saying it is going to be easy and at first it will seem like you will need to go once a week.

Also your focus of sexuality has been warped by society.
You most likely are focusing on the act and not its mutual unifiying nature.

I would suggest getting Chris West book on the theology of the body.

I will pray for you.

Never lose hope and keep trying no matter how many time you fall. If you fall go to confession and try again.

Beebs

Hi, I go to confession almost weekly, I go to mass 3 times a week, but only if I haven’t committed a mortal sin. I do have Christopher West’s book Theology of the Body, I guess I should re-read it. Thanks, God Bless.

 

[StCsDavid]

Shameless:

I am a recovering sex addict (self-abuse), this “condition” has been afflicting me for 18+ years. I am married (9 years w/kids) my wife knows about my “condition”, the problem is I don’t feel God’s love for me. I know he loves me but nothing is going right for me. I’m selfish, impatient, mean, moody, etc. I have health problems, anxiety, depression so I usually always feel bad and tired I get irritaed very easy. I can’t seem to change much, I can’t STAY inspired. I hear a good uplifting show on EWTN radio or TV and I’m inspired, then I fall again within days. Last night I went to Eucharistic Adoration, stayed longer than an hour, then today I fell and masturbated, how can that happen? I can’t afford a shrink, can’t afford medication, have no friens, my co-workers don’t care for me, I’m hurting my wife by doing this, I can’t seem to stop. I pray daily, more than once to help me stop this - and I continue to sin. Why won’t God listen to me?, I thought he loved me, if he is showing me how to overcome this, I ain’t gettin it.
I have made progress last year at this time I “fell” 72 times this year it’s 28, but once is too many times. God help me!! Please.
It hurts, I don’t want to go to hell.

Take a deep breath. Relax. Step back from this situation about three steps. What you describe is sinful; however, your condition, whether addiction or force of habit likely takes it out of the realm of mortal sin. I don’t believe you’re destined for Hell as you believe.

Your sexuality is a gift from God. Each time you get the urge, thank God for this gift then think about how he would want you to use it.

You didn’t mention your problem with pornography. Avoid it even if it means you have to disconnect your computer for awhile.

Finally, contact Catholic Charities in your area and see if they can hook you up with some low or no cost counseling. I’m not an expert, but it appears you might benefit from some professional advice.

And of course keep praying. Ask Blessed Mother and St. Joseph to intercede for you.

I’m on my way to mass, now, and I will pray for you.

 

[NFPfamily]

It seems to me that maybe you are waiting for some kind of Divine Intervention to take this urge away from you. Trust that God will provide you with the strength to fight off the temptation, but you have to be willing to do your side of the work also. When is this happening? Does this happen at certain times of day, certain situations, as a result of some kind of stress? Is this when you are alone- then go find someone to be around or go run errands for your family, etc. Look at a picture of your wife or the Blessed Mother and realize how much this offends them. Find a pattern and then replace it with something more constructive. Find something else to do with your hands- put them together and pray, saying “NOT TODAY!” out loud. During the temptation, keep your hands together in prayer and tell the Lord that you will hold this position until you are done with the urge, and ask Him to deliver it from you quickly. You do have free will- empower yourself with it and let the Holy Spirit fill you up. God can throw you all the Grace and Love you need to fight this, but you are the one that has to open yourself up to accept it. Love yourself enough to accept God’s love and mercy.

 

[BibleReader]

Shameless:

I am a recovering sex addict (self-abuse), this “condition” has been afflicting me for 18+ years. I am married (9 years w/kids) my wife knows about my “condition”, the problem is I don’t feel God’s love for me. I know he loves me but nothing is going right for me. I’m selfish, impatient, mean, moody, etc. I have health problems, anxiety, depression so I usually always feel bad and tired I get irritaed very easy. I can’t seem to change much, I can’t STAY inspired. I hear a good uplifting show on EWTN radio or TV and I’m inspired, then I fall again within days. Last night I went to Eucharistic Adoration, stayed longer than an hour, then today I fell and masturbated, how can that happen? I can’t afford a shrink, can’t afford medication, have no friens, my co-workers don’t care for me, I’m hurting my wife by doing this, I can’t seem to stop. I pray daily, more than once to help me stop this - and I continue to sin. Why won’t God listen to me?, I thought he loved me, if he is showing me how to overcome this, I ain’t gettin it.
I have made progress last year at this time I “fell” 72 times this year it’s 28, but once is too many times. God help me!! Please.
It hurts, I don’t want to go to hell.

My Heavens! Talk about a heart which is “inside-out”!

Congratulations on your work on yourself, friend.

Recommendations:

Every night, after dinner, do a “forced march” walk (4 mph) of 3 miles. Without fail. Buy a nice poncho, so that you can walk in the rain.

During the walk, pray.

Develop a sense of humor.

Take you wife out to a place SHE wants to go to, after YOU tell her to sit down while you do housework.

Question: Why might you have masturbated after more than an hour before the Eucharist? Possible answer: Because the Devil hates losing an old friend?

Don’t give up, friend! And don’t despair.

About actually feeling God’s love: If you pray for it, it will happen.

 

[Beebs]

Shameless:

Hi, I go to confession almost weekly, I go to mass 3 times a week, but only if I haven’t committed a mortal sin. I do have Christopher West’s book Theology of the Body, I guess I should re-read it. Thanks, God Bless.

Good to see.
By the way it takes a while for the book to sink in .

God bless
Beebs

 

[mary_s_kid]

Try reading and following the steps in a book called “Unbound” by Neal Lazano. My husband has had the same problem and he can’t stop praising this book. I’ve seen remarkable changes in him. God bless you in this struggle.

 

[Shameless]

mary's kid:

Try reading and following the steps in a book called “Unbound” by Neal Lazano. My husband has had the same problem and he can’t stop praising this book. I’ve seen remarkable changes in him. God bless you in this struggle.

Thanks, I’ll give that a look.

 

[cheddarsox]

Shameless:

I would love to have a spiritual director but how do you find one? I talked to one priest about it and he kinda didn’t want to get into all that.

If your priest cannot or will not serve in this capacity, ask him to direct you to where you can find a spiritual director. If he still is reluctant, contact a seminary (they should have directors for the seminarians and can set you up with one or know where you can find one) or a local religious order, monestary or convent.

If that fails, contact your bishops office and ask them to help you locate one. You do not need to specify why to everyone you speak to.

Not every parish preist is gifted in this capacity, but there are people out there who can help. One of the gifts of church is that we have community to help us stay accountable.

cheddar

 

[Shameless]

cheddarsox:

If your priest cannot or will not serve in this capacity, ask him to direct you to where you can find a spiritual director. If he still is reluctant, contact a seminary (they should have directors for the seminarians and can set you up with one or know where you can find one) or a local religious order, monestary or convent.

If that fails, contact your bishops office and ask them to help you locate one. You do not need to specify why to everyone you speak to.

Not every parish preist is gifted in this capacity, but there are people out there who can help. One of the gifts of church is that we have community to help us stay accountable.

cheddar

Thanks, there is a convent in the neighboring town.

 

[Catholic_Logger]

God wants you to be a Saint. God wants you to be a Saint. GOD WANTS YOU TO BE A SAINT.

All the great Saints became Saints becuase they immitated Christ. The way to immitate Christ is to carry your cross. Your cross should be quite obvious.

Thank Jesus he has given you such a heavy cross to bear. The more you suffer under its weight, the closer you emulate him.

He loves you so very much and values your soul so much he has given you a cross by which you can suffer much and thus bring God great glory.

Though you may not know it or recognize it, through your suffering, you are brought very, very close to Christ, indeed.

“Your temptations come from the devil and Hell, but your sufferings come from God and Paradise…”

“Let us climb Calvary withought getting tired, carrying our Cross and be certain that the climb will lead us to the beatific vision of our dear savior…”

“What does it matter to you whether Jesus wishes to guide you to Heaven by way of the desert or the feilds, so long as you get there…?”

~ Padre Pio

CL

 

[Shameless]

Catholic Logger:

God wants you to be a Saint. God wants you to be a Saint. GOD WANTS YOU TO BE A SAINT.

All the great Saints became Saints becuase they immitated Christ. The way to immitate Christ is to carry your cross. Your cross should be quite obvious.

Thank Jesus he has given you such a heavy cross to bear. The more you suffer under its weight, the closer you emulate him.

He loves you so very much and values your soul so much he has given you a cross by which you can suffer much and thus bring God great glory.

Though you may not know it or recognize it, through your suffering, you are brought very, very close to Christ, indeed.

“Your temptations come from the devil and Hell, but your sufferings come from God and Paradise…”

“Let us climb Calvary withought getting tired, carrying our Cross and be certain that the climb will lead us to the beatific vision of our dear savior…”

“What does it matter to you whether Jesus wishes to guide you to Heaven by way of the desert or the feilds, so long as you get there…?”

~ Padre Pio

CL

I’d happy if I could just resist the temptation once and a while, I’m so weak in this area.

 

[hilde_the_dog]

Shameless and all Did I miss this but I found St Augustine’s Confessions a real help. Hey he had problems of a similar nature and look at what happened to him. Be open to God. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to overcome, but I have an idea. Sex sins are part of the that wide paved road to hell, but if you keeping asking God to help he will and do NOT be to hard on yourself…I was warned of that in confession after discussing sex sins. If you can’t feel God’s love its more like you might not be willing to accept it…trust me its there

 

[Shameless]

hilde the dog:

Shameless and all Did I miss this but I found St Augustine’s Confessions a real help. Hey he had problems of a similar nature and look at what happened to him. Be open to God. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to overcome, but I have an idea. Sex sins are part of the that wide paved road to hell, but if you keeping asking God to help he will and do NOT be to hard on yourself…I was warned of that in confession after discussing sex sins. If you can’t feel God’s love its more like you might not be willing to accept it…trust me its there

I don’t want to sound dumb here but HOW do I accept his love, I mean what do I need to do?

 

[mhansen]

Shameless:

I don’t want to sound dumb here but HOW do I accept his love, I mean what do I need to do?

Quit fighting it. You’re fighting it with your fear and guilt. You’re making yourself believe you’re not worthy of His love, which simply isn’t true. Just let it be.

Prayer is always effective in these matters. Just sit there with God. Don’t speak. Just listen. “Be still and know that I am God.” This is especially important for you, because it seems the more talking and thinking you do, the worse you make yourself feel. So, just still your mind, and be with God. It might not happen the first time, or the tenth, or the hundredth. It WILL happen though.

Mike

 

[Shameless]

mhansen:

Quit fighting it. You’re fighting it with your fear and guilt. You’re making yourself believe you’re not worthy of His love, which simply isn’t true. Just let it be.

Prayer is always effective in these matters. Just sit there with God. Don’t speak. Just listen. “Be still and know that I am God.” This is especially important for you, because it seems the more talking and thinking you do, the worse you make yourself feel. So, just still your mind, and be with God. It might not happen the first time, or the tenth, or the hundredth. It WILL happen though.

Mike

How am I fighting it?

 

[mhansen]

Shameless:

How am I fighting it?

My friend,

Like I said in my post above, since YOU feel the way you feel about yourself, it only makes sense to you that GOD feels the same way about you that you feel about yourself. It’s a fear/guilt thing. So, if you can’t love yourself, then how can God love you? It all begins there.

Do yourself a favor and stay away from the forum for a little while, away from this thread, and especially stay away from anything that has to do with “one mortal sin and you go to hell” type theology. Turn the computer off and spend some time with God, as I described above. You’re getting all of this guilt from what you’re reading. It’s going to take God to take it away from you, and reading a book isn’t going to help you, I’m afraid. You’re going to have to take it to God yourself, in prayer, and let Him do the work. The type of prayer I’m proposing, however, is NOT you doing the talking. You’ll be doing all the listening this time. It might be a little different than what you’re used to. You’d be amazed how clearly God speaks in the silence.

I wish the Catholic Church had never coined the phrase “mortal sin”, much less devoted so much ink to the “theology” behind it. The damage it often does to a person’s mind and conscience is unbelievable.

Mike

 

[Shameless]

mhansen:

My friend,

Like I said in my post above, since YOU feel the way you feel about yourself, it only makes sense to you that GOD feels the same way about you that you feel about yourself. It’s a fear/guilt thing. So, if you can’t love yourself, then how can God love you? It all begins there.

Do yourself a favor and stay away from the forum for a little while, away from this thread, and especially stay away from anything that has to do with “one mortal sin and you go to hell” type theology. Turn the computer off and spend some time with God, as I described above. You’re getting all of this guilt from what you’re reading. It’s going to take God to take it away from you, and reading a book isn’t going to help you, I’m afraid. You’re going to have to take it to God yourself, in prayer, and let Him do the work. The type of prayer I’m proposing, however, is NOT you doing the talking. You’ll be doing all the listening this time. It might be a little different than what you’re used to. You’d be amazed how clearly God speaks in the silence.

I wish the Catholic Church had never coined the phrase “mortal sin”, much less devoted so much ink to the “theology” behind it. The damage it often does to a person’s mind and conscience is unbelievable.

Mike

Are you Catholic Mike? Thank you for all the responses but I just don’t buy in to that, it sounds good but in the long run I believe it will be hell for anyone who goes down that road, I mean you no disrespect but this is not what the church teaches and I can’t in good faith follow it. Thank you and God bless you.

 

[mhansen]

Shameless:

Are you Catholic Mike? Thank you for all the responses but I just don’t buy in to that, it sounds good but in the long run I believe it will be hell for anyone who goes down that road, I mean you no disrespect but this is not what the church teaches and I can’t in good faith follow it. Thank you and God bless you.

I was Catholic, until recently.

I wasn’t asking you to “buy” anything. I was asking you to TEMPORARILY put away the “fire and brimstone” theologies and just pray to God. I don’t think that’s being unreasonable, is it? Perhaps it’s because we put our faith in men and their opinions, and not God, that we get ourselves into these types of messes in the first place. I sincerely hope and pray that you’ll work your way through this unfortunate situation.

Mike

 

[Shameless]

mhansen:

I was Catholic, until recently.

I wasn’t asking you to “buy” anything. I was asking you to TEMPORARILY put away the “fire and brimstone” theologies and just pray to God. I don’t think that’s being unreasonable, is it? Perhaps it’s because we put our faith in men and their opinions, and not God, that we get ourselves into these types of messes in the first place. I sincerely hope and pray that you’ll work your way through this unfortunate situation.

Mike

What religion are you now? I’m Catholic and always will be, I will follow what the church teaches no matter how difficult it may be (and it is), did/do you suffer from this affliction?