I can't feel Gods Love for me

[cheddarsox]

Sometimes, when we are involved in sin we find it difficult or impossible to beleive that God loves and treasures us. And the more we focus on the sin, and how wrong it is, the less we can believe that God loves us. We get caught in a cycle of shame, guilt, not being able to accept love.

Stepping away from focusing on the sin, and self. We can put ourselves in a place to focus on God. The sin is still there, but we are no longer making it the most important thing.

This way, the love, goodness and acceptance of God become more important than the sin, and can help us overcome the cycle.

Sometimes our shame and guilt over sin hold God at a distance. He is not distancing himself, we wont’ let him in because of our shame and feelings of unworthiness.

We say, “I can’t come to God, or be in communion with God because he is so good and I am so pathetic”

God says. “I love you dear child, let my strength be sufficient for you”

God does not love us in spite of our sin, or because we are struggling with sin, He just loves us. Period. And we can allow ourselves to acknowledge that, and let that wonderful knowledge lift us up and strengthen us, or we can hold it off until we feel good enough to accept it.

I have not struggled with your particular sin, but I have been in the same spiritual situation. I knew I was sinning, and I “knew” that God would have nothing to do with me when I was in sin. But then, one day in the midst of sin, in the very worst of the worst, I looked over and there was God, right there with me, a quiet real presence. He would not abandon my to myself. And that is when the healing began. When I saw that NOTHING, could make God abandon me and stop loving me.

I was able to be transformed not by my own will, but because I was secure in the love of God. Because I had less need for sin and more hope. Because love and the real security of dwelling with the divine provided more relief, satisfaction and peace than the sin had.

God is with you. In the very depth of sin he is right there with you. As you commit the act, you are held in his arms. If you can allow yourself to stop focusing on the sin, and on the self, and on your own mortification, you will see, feel and experience him, and you are not alone as you move toward wholness and victory over this situation.

His aim is not punishment or shame, it is loving you to wholeness. Loving you till you can stop trying to fill your need for the divine with temporal things. Loving you into being the best you can be.

cheddar

 

[Pentecost2005]

Why is it so important that you “feel” a certain way, anyway? The point is not to have a certain emotional experience, but to purify your soul. Have you considered spiritual exercises? I would recommend Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales–plenty of meditations and exercises in there. Of course, there are also the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius. I have just started a book called The Ignatian Workout: Daily Spiritual Exercises for a Healthy Faith by Tim Muldoon, which is a contemporary introduction.

 

[mhansen]

Shameless:

What religion are you now? I’m Catholic and always will be, I will follow what the church teaches no matter how difficult it may be (and it is), did/do you suffer from this affliction?

No, not the particular affliction that you describe. However, in my younger days, I did have a great number of relationships with women that wouldn’t be deemed “appropriate.” I also had a period of depression that I tried to combat with alcohol and drugs for quite a while. But, this is behind me, and has been for some time, and I can honestly say that there is a purpose for everything – including what I went through. I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today if I hadn’t gone through those things.

Mike

 

[ncjohn]

StCsDavid:

Take a deep breath. Relax. Step back from this situation about three steps. What you describe is sinful; however, your condition, whether addiction or force of habit likely takes it out of the realm of mortal sin. I don’t believe you’re destined for Hell as you believe.

You didn’t mention your problem with pornography. Avoid it even if it means you have to disconnect your computer for awhile.

Shameless, these are two nuggets of wisdom. If you check the CCC I’m 99% sure that you’re going to find that compulsive behavior, which this unquestionably is, seldom qualifies as mortal sin. The very fact that you recognize it, are trying to overcome it, and pray about it so much also greatly mitigates against it. As many others have suggested, please talk to a priest about that specific aspect to put your mind at some ease. While you certainly can’t just “write it off” you can know that this isn’t something that God is sending you to hell for. You can believe with Thomas Merton that your desire to please God does in fact please him.

The second suggestion might be more important in your trying to overcome this. Removing the “near occasions of sin” is critical in overcoming any weakness. That is very difficult in our culture where you can’t open a newspaper or see a TV commercial without seeing pretty explicit sexual images, but it is important to try.

You are almost certainly going to fail occasionally no matter how far you get in overcoming this. The sexual urge is very strong in men in particular and I’ve not heard any, if they were being honest, claim that they never indulged themselves.

It sounds like you’ve come a long way with God’s grace, and I’m sure he will help you continue. Be patient though; you can’t erase years of compulsive behavior overnight.

Peace be with you,

 

[Magicsilence]

Why do you want help shameless?

I think its important to identify the reason behind the plea for help before presuming a remedy.

In Christ.

Andre.

 

[cmgeo]

Let me tell you What I feel about this issue:
Your willingness to identufy this as a problem
and try to resolve it, in itself is the first step.
I trust you are really being honset about this rather
than cover this up and forget about it.
when it comes to the front burner and you pray over it
and work on it, I believe there is going to be
solution eventually, God will open up a way.
There is also an element of addiction
I would suggest an intense retreat if you can
that is oriented towards getting rid of addiction
(all types of additcion)
I am assuming there exists one

I have this verse to share :

2 Cor 12:7-10 " a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong"

So take courage my dear brother in Christ, trusting in Jesus just like St Paul did, for when we ackowledge our weakness, God indeed does send his grace and help .

Romans: 5-20
" Law came in, to increase the trespass; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more"

 

[Pentecost2005]

Here’s an online article about the Spiritual Exercises:

therealpresence.org/archives/Spiritual_Exercises/Spiritual_Exercises_002.htm

 

[Mijoy2]

mhansen:

I was Catholic, until recently.

Mike

I may be going out on a limb here but I suspect Catholics who come to these forums seeking advice are seeking advice from Catholics who are bound to thier faith. Why would you, a non-Catholic, be here offering non-Catholic advice to a desperate Catholic who wishes to remain Catholic and conform to Catholic doctrine?

There is an apologetic forum where counter Catholic doctriinal discussion is welcomed. Your efforts seem misplaced.

 

[mhansen]

Mijoy2:

I may be going out on a limb here but I suspect Catholics who come to these forums seeking advice are seeking advice from Catholics who are bound to thier faith. Why would you, a non-Catholic, be here offering non-Catholic advice to a desperate Catholic who wishes to remain Catholic and conform to Catholic doctrine?

There is an apologetic forum where counter Catholic doctriinal discussion is welcomed. Your efforts seem misplaced.

Mijoy2,

I can’t help but notice you’ve contributed nothing in the way of a possible solution to the original poster’s “problem.” Instead of emphasizing division, why not try to offer some meaningful advice?

Why would I be here to offer advice to a desperate Catholic, (or any desperate person for that matter)? One word: LOVE. Try it sometime, you might like it!

Where has my advice gone against Church teaching? Is it a sin to place yourself in God’s hands?

Has your love of doctrine and dogma replaced your love of neighbor?

Are efforts to ease another’s suffering ever misplaced? Is the show of love ever misplaced? Is compassion ever misplaced? If so, then I will “misplace my efforts” boldly and plainly, for all to see.

Mike

 

[E.E.N.S]

mhansen:

Are efforts to ease another’s suffering ever misplaced?

All too often!

Consider; euthanasia, alcohol, drugs, sex, lies, etc. An attempt to ease someone’s suffering at the cost of truth is a very serious thing. Why try to ease someone’s suffering anyway? Didn’t Christ tell us to pick up our crosses and follow in his footsteps? Suffering for the sake of Truth is one of the best things you can do with your life here on earth.

 

[E.E.N.S]

I recommend you to this thread (a little to do with suffering)…

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=72298

 

[mhansen]

E.E.N.S.:

All too often!

Consider; euthanasia, alcohol, drugs, sex, lies, etc. An attempt to ease someone’s suffering at the cost of truth is a very serious thing. Why try to ease someone’s suffering anyway? Didn’t Christ tell us to pick up our crosses and follow in his footsteps? Suffering for the sake of Truth is one of the best things you can do with your life here on earth.

That was a three part question, my friend. There are two more parts. Feel free to answer those as well, and then we’ll chat more.

Well wait a minute now…why try to ease someone’s suffering? Do you propose we let the hungry go hungry? The sick remain sick? The poor remain poor? The lonely remain lonely? You offer only distorted versions of “easing” suffering, with alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. Those things don’t ease suffering, they add to it. If that’s your idea of easing suffering, I’m afraid your idea is way off the mark. If I am to follow in Christ’s footsteps, as you remind us, then my answer is “NO”, I cannot let the hungry go hungry, the sick remain sick, the poor remain poor, the lonely remain lonely. I have to help to the best of my ability. So, I will continue my quest to ease other’s suffering, and you can sit on the sidelines, relaxing in your easy chair, sipping on your favorite beverage, and I’ll get out there and do the work. As long as you feel good about it, it doesn’t bother me. By the way, while you’re lounging around, you can call Catholic Charities and let them know their services are no longer required.

Mike

 

[NFPfamily]

mhansen:

That was a three part question, my friend. There are two more parts. Feel free to answer those as well, and then we’ll chat more.

Well wait a minute now…why try to ease someone’s suffering? Do you propose we let the hungry go hungry? The sick remain sick? The poor remain poor? The lonely remain lonely? You offer only distorted versions of “easing” suffering, with alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. Those things don’t ease suffering, they add to it. If that’s your idea of easing suffering, I’m afraid your idea is way off the mark. If I am to follow in Christ’s footsteps, as you remind us, then my answer is “NO”, I cannot let the hungry go hungry, the sick remain sick, the poor remain poor, the lonely remain lonely. I have to help to the best of my ability. So, I will continue my quest to ease other’s suffering, and you can sit on the sidelines, relaxing in your easy chair, sipping on your favorite beverage, and I’ll get out there and do the work. As long as you feel good about it, it doesn’t bother me. By the way, while you’re lounging around, you can call Catholic Charities and let them know their services are no longer required.

Mike

I believe the key words in the other post were at the cost of truth and I agree- you cannot take away the mortal sin or try to pretend it’s not there. You must face it and embrace the courage and grace God gives you to move past the sin. We will always be tempted in different ways, but we must always hold fast to the Truth and always strive to serve God better and better.

 

[E.E.N.S]

mhansen:

That was a three part question, my friend. There are two more parts. Feel free to answer those as well, and then we’ll chat more.

Well wait a minute now…why try to ease someone’s suffering? Do you propose we let the hungry go hungry? The sick remain sick? The poor remain poor? The lonely remain lonely? You offer only distorted versions of “easing” suffering, with alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. Those things don’t ease suffering, they add to it. If that’s your idea of easing suffering, I’m afraid your idea is way off the mark. If I am to follow in Christ’s footsteps, as you remind us, then my answer is “NO”, I cannot let the hungry go hungry, the sick remain sick, the poor remain poor, the lonely remain lonely. I have to help to the best of my ability. So, I will continue my quest to ease other’s suffering, and you can sit on the sidelines, relaxing in your easy chair, sipping on your favorite beverage, and I’ll get out there and do the work. As long as you feel good about it, it doesn’t bother me. By the way, while you’re lounging around, you can call Catholic Charities and let them know their services are no longer required.

Mike

Half of your post is good (the part about feeding the hungry and such), the rest is garbage. It is distorted from just about every angle; granted I could have explained better, however my relating your condoning of an immoral act as “comforting,” to someone taking drugs to ease the suffering of a lost one, is a much closer comparison than the former being related to feeding the hungry.

For your information, I do ACTUAL works of charity - like feeding the hungry and giving alms, etc.- you can continue to tell people that it is okay to gravely sin, and that the Church should just “lay off” and call it “comforting,” I’ll call it deceiving.

 

[mhansen]

E.E.N.S.:

Half of your post is good (the part about feeding the hungry and such), the rest is garbage. It is distorted from just about every angle; granted I could have explained better, however my relating your condoning of an immoral act as “comforting,” to someone taking drugs to ease the suffering of a lost one, is a much closer comparison than the former being related to feeding the hungry.

For your information, I do ACTUAL works of charity - like feeding the hungry and giving alms, etc.- you can continue to tell people that it is okay to gravely sin, and that the Church should just “lay off” and call it “comforting,” I’ll call it deceiving.

Again, I challenge you to quote where I condoned any act. You’re not providing me with a specific instance. You’re making it up, to be blunt.

Instead of berating my post by calling it “garbage” (great comeback, by the way…really makes a point) why don’t you show me where I condoned anything? You saw I wasn’t Catholic, and you’ve been selectively reading my posts ever since, if you’ve been reading them at all.

I’ll be waiting for the quotes.

Mike

 

[mhansen]

NFPfamily:

I believe the key words in the other post were at the cost of truth and I agree- you cannot take away the mortal sin or try to pretend it’s not there. You must face it and embrace the courage and grace God gives you to move past the sin. We will always be tempted in different ways, but we must always hold fast to the Truth and always strive to serve God better and better.

Another member of the “Selective Reading Club”, I see. Where did I pretend anything wasn’t there? Site specifics, not what you THINK you saw.

By the way, nobody, not even you in all of your “Catholic-ness” can definitively say this man is committing a mortal sin. Going by the definitions the Church has given, it would appear that he may very well not be, since he has a habit/addiction. If you’re going to insist on “truth”, you must first know it.

Mike

 

[mhansen]

E.E.N.S.:

For your information, I do ACTUAL works of charity - like feeding the hungry and giving alms, etc.- you can continue to tell people that it is okay to gravely sin, and that the Church should just “lay off” and call it “comforting,” I’ll call it deceiving.

Why do you do these things? You asked why I would bother to “ease anyone’s suffering anyway?” What is your purpose in doing this, if not to help another? Is it vanity? A way to puff up your “spiritual ego?” Just what IS your intention, if not to ease suffering?

Mike

 

[E.E.N.S]

mhansen:

Again, I challenge you to quote where I condoned any act. You’re not providing me with a specific instance. You’re making it up, to be blunt.

Instead of berating my post by calling it “garbage” (great comeback, by the way…really makes a point) why don’t you show me where I condoned anything? You saw I wasn’t Catholic, and you’ve been selectively reading my posts ever since, if you’ve been reading them at all.

I’ll be waiting for the quotes.

Mike

Okay, Mike, you said:

mhansen:

Are efforts to ease another’s suffering ever misplaced? Is the show of love ever misplaced? Is compassion ever misplaced? If so, then I will “misplace my efforts” boldly and plainly, for all to see.

The first question I gave you a list of how people have “misplaced efforts” to try and ease suffering (you and I agree on the list I gave not really being of “true” help.
To the second question I would pose that people have a misguided view of love (as when a person trys to help another physically when it costs them ultimately spiritually.)
To the third I would place in the same category and the second.

As for your post being “garbage” if you re-read it you will see that your [false] attacks on my [false] lack of works of charity holds no ground - essentially you built up a straw man, and twisted the intent of my words.

I hope that answers your questions.

And I would appreciate it if you do not build up any more straw men.

 

[E.E.N.S]

mhansen:

Why do you do these things? You asked why I would bother to “ease anyone’s suffering anyway?” What is your purpose in doing this, if not to help another? Is it vanity? A way to puff up your “spiritual ego?” Just what IS your intention, if not to ease suffering?

Mike

Well, taken in context with this entire thread, we are not talking about feeding the hungry, we are talking about helping one of our brothers in Christ to turn from a pattern of grave sin. That is TRUE love, to bring someone to Christ.

 

[fix]

mhansen:

My friend,

I wish the Catholic Church had never coined the phrase “mortal sin”, much less devoted so much ink to the “theology” behind it. The damage it often does to a person’s mind and conscience is unbelievable.

Mike

The distinction between mortal and venial sin is set forth in Scripture. From St. John (I John, v, 16-17) it is clear there are some sins “unto death” and some sins not “unto death”, i.e. mortal and venial. The classic text for the distinction of mortal and venial sin is that of St. Paul (I Cor., iii, 8-15), where he explains in detail the distinction between mortal and venial sin.
newadvent.org/cathen/14004b.htm#II