I can't get over my past

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blue_waters_73

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I feel so horrible. My husband and I had an abortion about 7 years ago - we were married. Things weren’t good then. I was on the pill (I know that was wrong too) and just took a test for the heck of it - I wasn’t even late or anything. It was positive and I was completely shocked and scared. Like I said, we didn’t have a good marriage and we would argue and he would tell me to just go and get an abortion. He didn’t realy mean it but he was mad and would say whatever he could to hurt me. After what felt like the millionth time of him telling me that, I said fine I would. My mom was already pressuring me to have an abortion as soon as she found out.

I really just felt like I had no support and so I did make the appt. It was a really bad day and I even told my husband I didn’t want to do it. He didn’t really say anything so I just said fine if that’s how it is I will just do it.

THEN after it was done he got really upset and said we never should have done it. I was so mad at him - why couldn’t he tell me that an hour ago I thought - just one damn hour. If one person had supported me I could made it through the pregnancy. I was mad at myself too because I didn’t know symptoms I had meant the pill wasn’t working right and then I thought I was taking them right but I was taking them all wrong so I feel like it was all my fault in the first place that I was even pregnant and everyone was in the situation

I have two other kids now and I feel bad all the time. It’s always in my mind. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I can’t go to project rachel or anything like that really. I don’t have the money or time. We don’t ever really talk about it. Sometimes my husband will say that it was the worse mistake. I just don’t know anymore because a lot of the time I’m fine but I am so preoccupied by this still and it depresses me.
 
Call your local Catholic Diocese and ask them to refer you to “Rachel’s Hope”. It is an organization that helps women (and men) to heal after they have gone through an abortion. Our prayers are with you. :grouphug:
 
I’m praying for you and your husband that you will find a way through this.
 
Blue Water,

I have added you to my prayer partner list, taped to my computer screen.

Although my concerns are not the same as yours, I would ask you to pray for me also.

Thank you!
 
blue_waters_73 said:
I feel so horrible. My husband and I had an abortion about 7 years ago - we were married. Things weren’t good then. I was on the pill (I know that was wrong too) and just took a test for the heck of it - I wasn’t even late or anything. It was positive and I was completely shocked and scared. Like I said, we didn’t have a good marriage and we would argue and he would tell me to just go and get an abortion. He didn’t realy mean it but he was mad and would say whatever he could to hurt me. After what felt like the millionth time of him telling me that, I said fine I would. My mom was already pressuring me to have an abortion as soon as she found out.

I really just felt like I had no support and so I did make the appt. It was a really bad day and I even told my husband I didn’t want to do it. He didn’t really say anything so I just said fine if that’s how it is I will just do it.

THEN after it was done he got really upset and said we never should have done it. I was so mad at him - why couldn’t he tell me that an hour ago I thought - just one damn hour. If one person had supported me I could made it through the pregnancy. I was mad at myself too because I didn’t know symptoms I had meant the pill wasn’t working right and then I thought I was taking them right but I was taking them all wrong so I feel like it was all my fault in the first place that I was even pregnant and everyone was in the situation

I have two other kids now and I feel bad all the time. It’s always in my mind. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I can’t go to project rachel or anything like that really. I don’t have the money or time. We don’t ever really talk about it. Sometimes my husband will say that it was the worse mistake. I just don’t know anymore because a lot of the time I’m fine but I am so preoccupied by this still and it depresses me.
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Poor Child of God-you made a mistake-ask CHrist for His Forgiveness.I will pray for you and your husband.
 
I **really **encourage you to look at Rachel’s Vineyard and Project Rachel. Talk to them, if money is an issue. I am sure they want you to receive the healing you need and will work something out if you cannot pay. They may also direct you to someone who can help you locally.

Also, contact your local pro life group, they may know of a local post abortion healing ministry.

Post Abortion Syndrome is a REAL condition. Please don’t delay seeking help any longer. Help is out there for you.
 
1ke said:
I **really **encourage you to look at Rachel’s Vineyard and Project Rachel. Talk to them, if money is an issue. I am sure they want you to receive the healing you need and will work something out if you cannot pay.
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+1 👍

This link from their site might help.

rachelsvineyard.org/qa/search-questions.aspx

Financial help is available if needed. They have centres all over the States and in numerous other countries.

The most important thing is you get help.

You are in my prayers.
 
Reading over your post…I didn’t see that you mentioned Confession. If you haven’t already done so, you really need to go. Your husband, too. Confession is offered for us so that we can receive peace. You and your husband needs to hear that God forgives you. A good, thorough confession can do more to bring peace into your life that years and years of counseling.
 
I’m sorry about your experience with abortion. Part of the reason our Lord commands we not do it, is because it hurts us. I would have recommended Reconciliation, but I see you are not Catholic (yet:.)) I will pray for you.

Remember the story of the prodigal son. Our Lord welcomes you with open arms.

I encourage you to participate in pro-life organizations. You will heal by saving other babies. As well, you can comfort other women considering abortion. Your experience will allow you to reach people in places others cannot. God Bless

Remember God loves you!
 
turtle18 said:
Reading over your post…I didn’t see that you mentioned Confession. If you haven’t already done so, you really need to go. Your husband, too. Confession is offered for us so that we can receive peace. You and your husband needs to hear that God forgives you. A good, thorough confession can do more to bring peace into your life that years and years of counseling.
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I don’t think this couple are Catholic.I think they are Lutheran.I don’t think the sacrament would be open to them prior to converting.
 
choy said:
Lutherans have a sacrament of penance don’t they?
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I think some might.I’m not going to get into whether we recognise it as a sacrament or not but there are some very smart Lutheran posters here who have shown me a thing or two.
 
blue_waters_73 said:
I feel so horrible. My husband and I had an abortion about 7 years ago - we were married. Things weren’t good then. I was on the pill (I know that was wrong too) and just took a test for the heck of it - I wasn’t even late or anything. It was positive and I was completely shocked and scared. Like I said, we didn’t have a good marriage and we would argue and he would tell me to just go and get an abortion. He didn’t realy mean it but he was mad and would say whatever he could to hurt me. After what felt like the millionth time of him telling me that, I said fine I would. My mom was already pressuring me to have an abortion as soon as she found out.

I really just felt like I had no support and so I did make the appt. It was a really bad day and I even told my husband I didn’t want to do it. He didn’t really say anything so I just said fine if that’s how it is I will just do it.

THEN after it was done he got really upset and said we never should have done it. I was so mad at him - why couldn’t he tell me that an hour ago I thought - just one damn hour. If one person had supported me I could made it through the pregnancy. I was mad at myself too because I didn’t know symptoms I had meant the pill wasn’t working right and then I thought I was taking them right but I was taking them all wrong so I feel like it was all my fault in the first place that I was even pregnant and everyone was in the situation

I have two other kids now and I feel bad all the time. It’s always in my mind. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I can’t go to project rachel or anything like that really. I don’t have the money or time. We don’t ever really talk about it. Sometimes my husband will say that it was the worse mistake. I just don’t know anymore because a lot of the time I’m fine but I am so preoccupied by this still and it depresses me.
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These are the kind of stories that should be told to pro-abortion people…

I believe it was Pope John Paul II who said that mothers who aborted should also ask forgiveness from their aborted children.

Once you come to the Church and make a good confession be sure that your sin will be completely forgiven.
So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free.
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Everyone whom the Father gives me will come to me; I will certainly not reject anyone who comes to me,
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Will this mean that how you feel will suddenly go away, most probably not, but you can channel that pain and sorrow for something good offering it up for your husband, your children, your mom, those involved in the abortion, etc.

This post absolution formula has given me a lot of comfort
whatever good you do and **sufferings you endure **heal your sins, help you grow in holiness and reward you with eternal life
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Pray for me.
 
Abortion is a big deal for those who are suffering from post-abortion syndrome. Grief is a natural response for an aborted baby. Silence about abortion hurts, not helps, the healing process. Compassionate post-abortion counselors are desperately needed. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone could be spared that terrible journey of grief?

God forgives those who repent of their sins and strive never to sin again. I know one local nurse who helped perform abortions and three women who have had multiple abortions. All of these women grieve for the unborn lives that they killed. All have repented and now active in the pro life movement. They support unwed mothers, find homes for the babies saved from abortion and provide grief counseling for those women who went through with the abortion.

The phrase, “back alley abortions”, is more propaganda than reality. Women who have had abortions are uniting under the banner, “Silent No More.” These women testify that they were wounded by abortion. In short, they were lied to. Abortion did not solve their problems. Abortion brought on more problems than they ever dreamed possible. The problems that these women encountered cover the whole range of psychological and physical wounds. “Post-abortion syndrome” is the term to describe these wounds from abortion.

My prayer for you is that you may feel God’s love. Healing will come! As Christians we have faith in the things that we cannot see, and hope where there seems to be no hope.
 
blue_waters_73 said:
I feel so horrible. My husband and I had an abortion about 7 years ago - we were married. Things weren’t good then. I was on the pill (I know that was wrong too) and just took a test for the heck of it - I wasn’t even late or anything. It was positive and I was completely shocked and scared. Like I said, we didn’t have a good marriage and we would argue and he would tell me to just go and get an abortion. He didn’t realy mean it but he was mad and would say whatever he could to hurt me. After what felt like the millionth time of him telling me that, I said fine I would. My mom was already pressuring me to have an abortion as soon as she found out.

I really just felt like I had no support and so I did make the appt. It was a really bad day and I even told my husband I didn’t want to do it. He didn’t really say anything so I just said fine if that’s how it is I will just do it.

THEN after it was done he got really upset and said we never should have done it. I was so mad at him - why couldn’t he tell me that an hour ago I thought - just one damn hour. If one person had supported me I could made it through the pregnancy. I was mad at myself too because I didn’t know symptoms I had meant the pill wasn’t working right and then I thought I was taking them right but I was taking them all wrong so I feel like it was all my fault in the first place that I was even pregnant and everyone was in the situation

I have two other kids now and I feel bad all the time. It’s always in my mind. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I can’t go to project rachel or anything like that really. I don’t have the money or time. We don’t ever really talk about it. Sometimes my husband will say that it was the worse mistake. I just don’t know anymore because a lot of the time I’m fine but I am so preoccupied by this still and it depresses me.
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I John 1:8-10
 
The following is Our Lady of Medjugorje’s June 2, 2010 Message on the day for non-believers through Mirjana:

“Dear children, today I call you, with fasting and prayer, to clear the way by which my Son will enter into your hearts. Accept me as a mother and a messenger of God’s love and of His desire for your salvation. Free yourself of everything from the past which burdens you and gives you a sense of guilt; of everything that brought you to error - darkness. Accept the light. Be born anew in the justice of my Son. Thank you.”
 
“The phrase, “back alley abortions”, is more propaganda than reality. Women who have had abortions are uniting under the banner, “Silent No More.” These women testify that they were wounded by abortion. In short, they were lied to. Abortion did not solve their problems. Abortion brought on more problems than they ever dreamed possible. The problems that these women encountered cover the whole range of psychological and physical wounds. “Post-abortion syndrome” is the term to describe these wounds from abortion.”

All women who have opted for abortion do not suffer “post-abortion syndrome”.

The best advice I’ve seen on this forum with regard to the woman who is remorseful about having had an abortion is that she say a prayer every time she thinks of the fetus. The “Hail Mary” was suggested for Catholics; but any appropriate prayer will suffice. As time moves on, the distress will lessen. Perhaps the sorrow will remain to some degree, but at least the mother will be communicating with God about the part she played in the abortion and she will also be praying for the soul of the fetus.

T57
 
More often than not, THIS is the reality of “choice.” Feel like you had a real choice? Sure doesn’t sound like it. My cousin had a very similar experience (which none of us found out about until afterwards).

What you did was wrong, no question. But you need to recognize that the world did not end that day. Every single one of us has sins on our souls severe enough to cut us off forever from God. That’s what the incarnation of Jesus was all about! He came to draw us all back. To restore what we ourselves never could do. You CAN’T ever make up for what you did. All you can do is receive forgiveness for it. And that forgiveness is there for the asking in Christ.

If you have a hard time believing that, start in the bible. Read Acts of the Apostles and see how St. Paul’s life goes (named Saul before conversion). He HUNTED christians for execution! How much blood was on his hands? And yet look what God did with him after he repented. Same offer applies to you. I pray that you accept it.

As a catholic, the sacrament of reconciliation is a treasure I don’t avail myself of often enough. But when I do, it IS a truly marvelous thing to HEAR Christ speaking in the voice of the priest saying “I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…”
 
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