I can't have communion... it's ripping me up inside... what should I do?

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Ultima_Ratio said:
Here’s a link to Traditional Orders in your area. It would be great if the Fraternity of St. Peter was near you.

I would call the Priest and explain your situation. Tell him that you want to join the Catholic Church very bad, but that your College schedule does not permit attendance at the local RCIA program. Then tell him that someone suggested that you contact a Traditional Order to see if the Priest would be willing to offer one-on-one catechism classes. Tell him that the person who suggested this said that is how he entered the Church. The Preist will probably accommodate you, but if not I bet he will know of another good Priest who will.
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This is a great idea! I think I will definately call all my local churches and talk to them regarding this problem. You have been a great help. I can’t really thank you enough!
 
s said:
Believe me when I say that I do understand your feelings of impatience, because I have always been an impatient person myself (“Lord, grant me patience, but hurry!”).

The thing is however, that this is not about emotion or feelings, but about faith. Emotion will only carry you so far and then once again you will find yourself getting impatient over something that does not go according to your desire. This is the time to start learning how to trust in the infinite goodness of God and His great love for your soul. If you are being asked to wait, then this is ultimately for your own good. Many wonderful suggestions have been given on here by others, from what you can do to try to change the situation, to how to handle it if you can’t.

You said that you do pray - the Rosary, “like a nun”. So, act like a nun, be submissive to His will in all things and spend time thinking how you can give back to Him for all that He has given to you. Prayer is more than just repeating words, I am sure you know; it is an act of humble adoration and thanksgiving for all that God has given you. The very fact that you have been given the gift of the one true faith is something that you could be spending the whole next year giving thanks for! The Rosary is my favorite prayer, and a very powerful one, but try offering it up for the Church and for our Holy Father Pope Benedict, and for all of our priests and for vocations and leave your own personal needs and wants to God’s mercy. Pray for all the others in the RCIA and ask God to bless them during this time. Spend any time you have to wait for anything, in offering up praise and thanksgiving, and in petitions for others.

If you must ask for things for yourself, ask the Holy Spirit for the gift of patience and of self-surrender. If at all possible, spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament in Adoration and in asking Jesus how you can best please Him. True love is not shown by demanding attention and gifts for yourself, but by giving to the object of your love, to the Beloved. You have been given such a very precious opportunity to show Jesus just how much you love Him and how grateful you are for all that He has done for you. Don’t waste this time whining and complaining! You will melt His heart by your own acts of love towards Him, and He may make it possible for you to receive Him sooner than you thought possible, but let Him give this gift to you, don’t demand it from Him! Yes, receiving Him in Holy Communion is so precious, but anticipation of the event, will only deepen your longing, your love and your appreciation. Cherish this time of great longing. He loves it when we long for Him, it helps assauge His thirst for souls.

I will keep you in my prayers during this time of great graces and trials.
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Oh I’m sorry sanctasofia, just as I was on the second paragragh of your post my mum called and I have to go to her house. I’m sorry. I will have to get back to this in a few hours. I just had to thank you though because what I have read so far sounds like the words coming from a person who has much experience and knowledge. I will definately get back to you properly later on. Thank you again and God bless!
 
Zundrah said:
I read and understood your post here CB, but maybe you could help me a little more? When I go to my pastor, what should I be requesting? Should I tell them that I am unhappy about waiting a year for this? Should I ask for some private teaching about the mass and its depth meaning?
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Zundrah, another poster, UltimaRatio gave you a very good suggestion. I think you should consider his advice as an option if you cannot get anywhere with your pastor. Do your best to seek out all available options, but most importantly, pray about it and ask for God’s guidance.
 
CB_Catholic said:
Zundrah, another poster, UltimaRatio gave you a very good suggestion. I think you should consider his advice as an option if you cannot get anywhere with your pastor. Do your best to seek out all available options, but most importantly, pray about it and ask for God’s guidance.
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I want to thank you and everyone else so much, because this seemed an impossible problem to me but now it seems a lot easier to resolve, thank you. I hope this all goes well.
 
Zundrah, can you talk to your priest and work something out with him so you can continue to become Catholic and enter the Church this coming Easter vigil without going to the RCIA classes? 🤷:confused:
 
Holly3278 said:
Zundrah, can you talk to your priest and work something out with him so you can continue to become Catholic and enter the Church this coming Easter vigil without going to the RCIA classes? 🤷:confused:
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I don’t know how these things work! I’ve only been going to this Roman Catholic Church for 6 months now!
 
Zundrah said:
I think that what you are trying to say is, why did I start RCIA if I knew I was going to be going to college? Well, the college course came up after I had been going to RCIA for about 4 weeks. And why did I go to college if it meant missing RCIA? Surly RCIA is far more important without question!? Well, I have no GCSE’s, my income is from peoples tax because I have no job at current! I need these leves! I need a job! But am I still being selfish? But anyway, let’s move on to the next question; have I requested private sessions outside my college hours? The answer is yes, they said there was nothing they could do. Why you might ask? I don’t know. I am not the parishioner or the priest.
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Not even close. I’m just saying that the process of RCIA is like the process of College - you spend time (maybe more than just a single year) working towards a goal, and you don’t scream and jump up and down with impatience if it’s more difficult or takes longer than anticipated, because even if it is and does it’s totally worthwhile in the end, right?

In regards seeking alternatives, I second the suggestion to go outside your own parish. Of course if you start out by saying that you’re in RCIA they’ll know you’re not Catholic yet, and certainly won’t think any the less of you for wanting to become Catholic, quite the contrary they’ll probably be more keen to help you than an old dyed-in-the-wool boiler like me.

Kinda like how politicians always do more for people in marginal electorates (those which could change from one political party to the other) than areas that have always traditionally voted one way.
 
Zundrah said:
I want to get formal and informal advice on this…

I unfortunately had to stop my RCIA classes because my evening college classes ran over its time slot. I can’t quit the college classes because it is only two days a week anyway, and if I skip it for RCIA I will be thrown out because it is exactly halve of the course… I have to wait until next time… over a year!

I want to take communion. I want to have the Eucharist. I want to be part of the Lords communion. I feel like if the angel of death came… or the Lords second coming, that I will be left to die - just like the Egyptian oppressors.

I am so upset about this that it makes me feel like a sinner when people of my parish are having their dip in the Lords cup and yet I am left at the pew like a stranger… as if I don’t know Christ. As if I am unworthy to recieve him.

They all had to eat the lamb, they had to consume it or else they died. So many friends try to console me about this but to no avail. I know that God himself is stopping me from recieving Christ redemptive death. He is holding me back, and I don’t like it.

I am an outcast, because even Judas had his share in Christ, but not me.

I saw a thread here yesterday, a woman was complaining that her protestant friends were coming to her parish and recieving communion even though they only saw it as symbolic…
I thought to myself, even they get it! I wish I was there at that Parish…

What should I do? I haven’t even been to confession yet, for the first time.
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If God is holding you back, as you say, then you had better conform your will to His. One doesn’t get peace from opposing God’s will. Ripped up inside? Have you not been taught the value of assisting at Mass with your prayers even if you do not receive Communion? Our communions are wonderful, but sometimes we are not propelry disposed. Maybe we haven’t fasted. Maybe like you, we are catechumens or candidates. We make a spiritual communion in uniting ours with the prayers of the priest. This has always been the way of the Church.

It sounds to me like you are not ready for Holy Communion if you are “ripped up inside” while you are at Mass. You say how it makes you feel like a sinner because others are receiving Communion and you are not? The Church does not teach that you are a sinner because you are a candidate or catechumen awaiting reception into the Church. That is your imagination which needs to be conformed to the teaching of the Church. The Church teaches that if through no fault of your own, you are unable to be baptized, make your confession, or receive Holy Communion that you can receive the graces thereof. You have to accept this teaching of the Church, just like you apparently accept the teaching on the Eucharist.
 
RoryMcKenzie56 said:
We make a **spiritual communion **in uniting ours with the prayers of the priest. This has always been the way of the Church.
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👍

From the St. Andrew’s missal:
O Jesus, my soul hungers and thrists after Thee. I long to receive every day Thy most Holy Body. I implore, at least, Thy spiritual presence. I beg of Thee to descend into my soul and give me some share in the infinite merits of Thy death, the memory of which we celebrate in this Mass. Grant, O loving Savior, that I may be made in union with Thee and Thy Mystical Body.
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Note: This is not official and one may use variations of this, of course.
 
I couldn’t attend RCIA at the Catholic Church by my house because they only offered it on Sunday mornings, and i work every sunday morning (I attend mass either saturday night or sunday evening). I was upset about this at first. I know how hard it is to not receive Communion. So I called the next closest Church, St. Elizabeth, and I have been attending RCIA there because they offer it wednesday nights. It has been such an amazing experience and my sponsor and I click so well that I know it is where I am meant to be. Do not be discouraged. If the Lord closes one door for you it is because he is showing you another that you can walk through. As for sitting in the pew, get up and get the blessing. All you have to do is cross your arms in front of you when you get up to the Priest. There is no reason to be embarrassed for doing this, people will know that those in RCIA cannot attend.

Keep going towards the Lord and He will guide you.
 
My RCIA director at my parish meets with a person individually on another day seperate from the rest of the class, because of his conflicts. So you should check. Even with a director from another parish. There has to be a solution. A schedule conflict should be easy to resolve. .
 
*If God is holding you back, as you say, then you had better conform your will to His.

We make a spiritual communion in uniting ours with the prayers of the priest. This has always been the way of the Church.

You have to accept this teaching of the Church, just like you apparently accept the teaching on the Eucharist. *

Amen! You should read about offering up suffering for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Also consider reading about saints who suffered because of their patients and obedience to the Church. And all of this is moot if you haven’t asked your priest about meeting at another time yet! However if you must wait, learn to wait and suffer joyfully, and join your sufferings to Christ who died for you.

*As for sitting in the pew, get up and get the blessing. All you have to do is cross your arms in front of you when you get up to the Priest. *

I would *not * recommend this, though some people do it and some priests allow it. It’s not part of the Mass, it’s part of some misguided attempt to get everyone “involved.” Fact is that everyone gets a blessing by the priest at the end of Mass, and if you can’t receive Our Lord you should use that time to make a spiritual communion.
 
Zundrah said:
I will be embarrassed though if he ask me how long I have been catholic for. QUOTE

But that question won’t arise. You are not a Catholic and you don’t intend to tell him wrongly that you are, surely? If you are asking about RCIA he’ll know you are not a Catholic anyway. I don’t understand why the embarrassment.

Just tell him the truth. Tell him that you are not a Catholic, you would like to be one, you started RCIA at such-a-church but college commitments mean you can’t continue the classes, can he tell you when the RCIA classes are at his church, is there any chance you can join them. He’ll probably ask for the name of your parish priest, so that he can check with him how much you’ve covered so far already.
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New York Catholic:

Why don’t you recommend the blessing? What is wrong with getting everyone involved? My priest, my RCIA director and my sponsor all advised me to do it.
 
I am astonished that more people have not emphasized spiritual communion. When I was for several years (it’s a long story) longing to become Catholic and receive the Eucharist, I had several good friends who told me that when I attended Mass I could, during the reception of Communion, pray that I might receive the grace of Jesus’ presence in my heart, while in obedience I did not receive physically. One friend, whenever I went to Mass with her, would pretend to take my thumb with her, so that some part of me could be closer to the physical Eucharist. Even after you are fully part of the church you will want to remember this, because there may be times when it is not right for you to receive actual communion (for instance, due to nausea from morning sickness, to take one of my own examples)

Remember that those who receive are not doing so because they are worthy, nor are you refraining because you are less worthy. It is really unhelpful to your spiritual growth to think that way. Concentrate on what you long for- ultimate union with Jesus. When you are fully part of the Church, receiving communion will be an important part of that growth in union. Right now, your prayerful, obedient frustration is part of that growth.

As to how you pray for souls in purgatory, just do it. God knows better what to do with the offering of your prayers than anything you could suggest. Also, there is a group on CAF that is devoted to praying for the souls in purgatory. Go there.
 
I too am waiting to receive the Eucharist and Confession with my husband. I was married previously and we are waiting for my annulment to be completed before we are able to receive the sacraments.
The only comfort that I can offer is, live the holiest life you are able, believe in God’s mercy, and trust that he will lead you in the way that is right for you.
I wish I could participate fully, but I will remember when I finally can, just how much of a gift it is.
 
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