V
virgo
Guest
I’ve been bothered by something for several months now, and I guess I’m just looking for a space to get it off my chest. A bit of background: For several years now, I’ve been friends with a group of Mormon moms. I’ve been active in my large Catholic parish, and I’m raising my family in the Catholic tradition. As I’m in my 40s now, I look less at theological tenets than I do at adherent behavior and the presence of the Spirit in peoples’ homes and lives. With that said, I’ve had a great many experiences with the LDS church in which I found that families were much more aligned with their faith than many of my Catholic friends and family. In essence, the Catholics I know are either culturally Catholic but not seriously so (church on Easter and Christmas, drunk on Saturdays but go to Mass occasionally on Sunday), or they are on the other end of the spectrum and are ferociously Catholic and spend a lot of time ranting about abortion online. :woman_facepalming:t3: So that’s my experience as an adult Catholic.
The situation that has bothered me the most went something like this: I had spent about a month taking orientation classes with the Vincentians, as I wanted a way to get involved and tap into my parish the way my LDS friends do with their churches. I went to meetings, chatted with folks, and completed the orientation. I was not working at the time, and I had free time during the school day to help out while my kids were at school. One day, I received a call from the Vincentians that they would need me to accompany another veteran Vincentian to a person’s house to help them with a situation. I was excited to finally be a part of something good! Unfortunately, a few hours later, I got a call from my 8 year old son’s school that his stomach was hurting and that I should pick him up. In all of the school years for my 8 and 10 year old sons, I’ve never had a call to come and pick them up. This was horrible timing, and I tried to get a hold of the Vincentian who was on his way to my house. Unfortunately, he is an older gentleman and does not use a cell phone, so I couldn’t reach him to let him know.
In the meantime, I panicked, prayed, and got ready to pick up my son. The Vincentian came to my door as I was leaving, and I tearfully told him what was happening, and that I was so sorry, this has never happened before, I’m normally very dependable, etc, etc. He backed a few steps away from me, sort of shook his head, and mumbled something like “Oh, okay. Well, I’m sorry,” and drove away. I popped into my own car and jammed away to get my son.
Five hours later, I’m in the ER with my son, who is writhing in pain. They run ultrasounds, blood panels, and scans to find the cause. I’m terrified, panicking, crying, so I decide to text the first person I can think of that is the most spiritually tuned, compassionate person I know. No, not one of my Catholic friends, but my LDS friend. She answered immediately and prayed with me. Thankfully, they found nothing wrong and his pain was a complete mystery.
I took him home, and 30 minutes later there was a knock on my door. My friend had sent over her husband (an LDS bishop, and another bishop from an LDS ‘ward’ (parish) closer to my home). They both prayed over my son, anointed him with holy oil, and prayed with me. It was the most incredible spiritual experience I’ve ever had, and my son was fully well by that evening.
In the days that followed, I felt most disappointed in my own Catholic community. Why did the LDS bishops run straight over from their jobs as busy hospital executives to pray with us? Why did the Catholic Vincentian make a run for his car and that organization never call me back for another volunteer opportunity? He could have made like the LDS bishops and offered to pray with me instead of running off like that. I was essentially dropped by the Vincentians, when I needed prayer and compassion the most. They didn’t follow up to find out how things were with my son, they just decided that I couldn’t be of help to them. Why do our Catholic brothers and sisters not minister to one another? This question has been bothering me. I realize that we are all humans, and no church has perfect members. But when my own church fails me in such a fundamental way, I can’t help but to think if there is something I’m missing in the LDS church while I work so hard to stay involved and drum up some kind of social network at my own parish, unsuccessfully. The only ministries around seem to be entirely populated by elderly parishioners. Which is wonderful for them, but I need spiritual nourishment and community in this part of my adulthood.
I know the argument from Catholics would be that we are ‘better’ because our church is the true church, with the Eucharist, keys of St Peter, etc–but at the end of the day, doctrine doesn’t so much matter to me as much as human connection, empathy, prayer life (especially that of young fathers, which I rarely see in the Catholic community the way I do in the LDS), and just basic human kindness.
I really do want to let this go and stop comparing experiences, but this is the most recent example in which my Catholic faith is feeling rather dry lately. I’ve changed parishes, I’ve connected to online Catholic communities (again, more of the abortion thing), and I’ve gotten involved in many ministries. It seems to take twice as much work as simply hanging out with the Mormons and feeling spiritually fed.
The situation that has bothered me the most went something like this: I had spent about a month taking orientation classes with the Vincentians, as I wanted a way to get involved and tap into my parish the way my LDS friends do with their churches. I went to meetings, chatted with folks, and completed the orientation. I was not working at the time, and I had free time during the school day to help out while my kids were at school. One day, I received a call from the Vincentians that they would need me to accompany another veteran Vincentian to a person’s house to help them with a situation. I was excited to finally be a part of something good! Unfortunately, a few hours later, I got a call from my 8 year old son’s school that his stomach was hurting and that I should pick him up. In all of the school years for my 8 and 10 year old sons, I’ve never had a call to come and pick them up. This was horrible timing, and I tried to get a hold of the Vincentian who was on his way to my house. Unfortunately, he is an older gentleman and does not use a cell phone, so I couldn’t reach him to let him know.
In the meantime, I panicked, prayed, and got ready to pick up my son. The Vincentian came to my door as I was leaving, and I tearfully told him what was happening, and that I was so sorry, this has never happened before, I’m normally very dependable, etc, etc. He backed a few steps away from me, sort of shook his head, and mumbled something like “Oh, okay. Well, I’m sorry,” and drove away. I popped into my own car and jammed away to get my son.
Five hours later, I’m in the ER with my son, who is writhing in pain. They run ultrasounds, blood panels, and scans to find the cause. I’m terrified, panicking, crying, so I decide to text the first person I can think of that is the most spiritually tuned, compassionate person I know. No, not one of my Catholic friends, but my LDS friend. She answered immediately and prayed with me. Thankfully, they found nothing wrong and his pain was a complete mystery.
I took him home, and 30 minutes later there was a knock on my door. My friend had sent over her husband (an LDS bishop, and another bishop from an LDS ‘ward’ (parish) closer to my home). They both prayed over my son, anointed him with holy oil, and prayed with me. It was the most incredible spiritual experience I’ve ever had, and my son was fully well by that evening.
In the days that followed, I felt most disappointed in my own Catholic community. Why did the LDS bishops run straight over from their jobs as busy hospital executives to pray with us? Why did the Catholic Vincentian make a run for his car and that organization never call me back for another volunteer opportunity? He could have made like the LDS bishops and offered to pray with me instead of running off like that. I was essentially dropped by the Vincentians, when I needed prayer and compassion the most. They didn’t follow up to find out how things were with my son, they just decided that I couldn’t be of help to them. Why do our Catholic brothers and sisters not minister to one another? This question has been bothering me. I realize that we are all humans, and no church has perfect members. But when my own church fails me in such a fundamental way, I can’t help but to think if there is something I’m missing in the LDS church while I work so hard to stay involved and drum up some kind of social network at my own parish, unsuccessfully. The only ministries around seem to be entirely populated by elderly parishioners. Which is wonderful for them, but I need spiritual nourishment and community in this part of my adulthood.
I know the argument from Catholics would be that we are ‘better’ because our church is the true church, with the Eucharist, keys of St Peter, etc–but at the end of the day, doctrine doesn’t so much matter to me as much as human connection, empathy, prayer life (especially that of young fathers, which I rarely see in the Catholic community the way I do in the LDS), and just basic human kindness.
I really do want to let this go and stop comparing experiences, but this is the most recent example in which my Catholic faith is feeling rather dry lately. I’ve changed parishes, I’ve connected to online Catholic communities (again, more of the abortion thing), and I’ve gotten involved in many ministries. It seems to take twice as much work as simply hanging out with the Mormons and feeling spiritually fed.
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have taken their toll and my direct experience doesn’t take into consideration doctrine–just whether or not I feel Christ’s presence in one interaction or another. You’ve given me food for thought, Marie. Thanks.
oint_up_2:t3: right here, folks, is exactly what I’m talking about.