I don't enjoy being a mom

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EasterJoy said:
“My second favorite household chore is ironing.
My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply.
"Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?
"Don’t you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?
"Wasn’t there any change?”

“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ”

“Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.”

“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”

“Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, ‘A house guest,’ you’re wrong because I have just described my kids.”

“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”

“Raising a family wasn’t something I put on my resumé, but I have to ask myself, would I apply for the same job again?”

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”

All of it― Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck wrote 15 bestsellers. There was a time when her columns were read twice-weekly by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers in the U.S. and Canada.

Dear Serap…you are not alone!
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hilarious!!! I laughed a lot reading this.
 
When I had my first child, I didn’t enjoy it either. I tired very quickly of late night feedings, diapers, endless nights of crying, no sleep, no free time and, what I thought was, no life. Then came the possibility that I may not be able to have more children, however, 12 years later I was blessed with a baby girl. Soon after she was born I was faced with the possibility that she could have a heart murmur. God answered my plea and she was a healthy baby. 10 years later, God gave me another daughter. I now view motherhood as a privilege instead of a job. I would get up on my own in the middle of the night just to make sure they were still ok. I couldn’t wait to get home after work to see my babies. I cried when they were sick because their pain made me sad. The difference in how I feel now is in how I viewed motherhood. Now, my last daughter is graduating high school and I feel a pending emptiness. My life as a Christian mother is not about my needs, but instead, about performing the greatest privilege that God has ever given to women…the nurturing and training of a little person. I learned what “love” is through my babies. I learned patience and empathy through my babies. 🙂
 
My daughers are now fully “grown” and in college 🙂

What do you mean long days of motherhood LOL!~ It’s amazing how those tedious days fade away and the good memories stay.

I remember trying to explain to my best friend how tiring it was to be home alone (although blessed to be a stay at home mom at that time) with two kids 16 months apart. My husband was gone Mon through Friday out of town; the loneliness, repetitive tasks, crying, Dr’s visits, croup, etc, and she said “It can’t be THAT BAD” and I wanted to jump through the phone and say YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Soon those tedious moments will fade and good days will linger longer in your mind! I remember my youngest saying I am going to live with MY MOMMY FOREVER and now I eagerly await home visits from College.

I told her you said you’d live with me forever which she things is hilarious at age 18.

God bless, and hang in there.
Mary.
 
Serap said:
There I said it…I don’t enjoy motherhood. I love my kids and would do anything for them, but I hate being a mom.

I enjoyed it the first 2 years when I just had my daughter, but ever since my son was born, I have just not enjoyed motherhood. It’s more than double the work. Why didn’t anyone warn me that the second child means more than double the work??? :mad:
  • I’m tired of being woken up at night b/c my son has a cold, etc.
  • I’m tired of my kids fighting.
  • I’m tired of my kids testing me to see what their boundaries are…it’s exhausting
  • I hate doing homework with my daughter…hate hate hate it…my husband has no patience, so I end up doing it and I also lack patience.
  • I hate being broke
  • I feel like my life is on “hold” while we wait for my son to mature and stop melting down
  • we don’t fly anywhere for vacation b/c we don’t want to waste our money only to have a ****** time bc our son is melting down everyday
  • I don’t have money to pamper myself anymore…all goes to daycare.
  • I wish I could afford a good haircut and highlights
  • I hate having to deal with my son’s behaviour at school…he play fights to roughly with his friends and I’m constantly reminding him to be gentle every morning when I drop him off. At least I have a good relationship with his teacher 👍
  • I miss making love to my husband without kids knocking on the door.
  • I miss spending time alone with my husband and the rare times we go on a date, all I can think about is my kids … ughhh!
  • I hate using my weekends up with kids’ activities…soccer, swimming and now my daughter’s Catachism classes
  • I hate having to say things like, “stop picking your noes”, “is that poo on your fingers?”, “I don’t want you to show me your penis.”
  • I hate the feelings of guilt after discipling my kids or losing my cool and yelling at them
  • I hate having to catch up on laundry and cleaning the house every weekend.
  • I don’t feel attractive anymore
  • I miss my old body…especially my stomach and my long silky pre-pregnancy hair
There I did it…Now you can all smoke me 😃

Anyone here tried to counter with the “things I love about motherhood” I will be forced to come through the computer lines and slap you silly :slapfight:
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Maybe you’re just ‘tired out’ darlin’. Sleep deprivation?
New mommy-hood is rough that way.

Don’t worry…it’s a pretty normal way to feel (especially when all the perfect moms out there on facebook are lying through their teeth!)

What you need:
Naps
Girlfriends
Mother’s Day Outs
Dinners or lunches out with the girlfriends (sans kids)
Help from the Daddy, the grandparents (and babysitters)

You might want to look into St Anne’s Society at your parish…moms of little ones.
They can relate.

Hang in there.
😉

PS: I have just read your other posts…you not only have a great way of capturing what every mom feels, you have a great sense of humor…so I am not worried about you. I know you’ll be fine! (You go girl! Write a book!)
 
I can understand, as a man, all the problems women face being mothers. I feel your pain. As a father, many was the time when I listened for a few minutes until I went to sleep, to the crying of my son, which apparently went on throughout the night. I would be there when my wife would come back to bed at five in the morning. Then I would hear her get up at six again. She always knew I was right beside her during those early years.
I spoke to her on the phone when she was worried sick about our son’s ear ache, or a temperature. I was always able to advise on asprin or neurophen doses. Often, when I was out to dinner with work colleagues on important business, my wife would ring to complain about some teacher at our son’s school or his bad behaviour. I was always there for her for advice and I might say, some inspirational words.
Motherhood is the peak of a woman’s potential and her love is what makes the little ones grow. I will be the first to say that. I always admire the women I see with five or six children under seven being hauled along the aisles of our shopping centre while I wait having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping. I have always been there for her as the leader of the family.
I even changed a nappy once on a dare. ( It wasn’t hard; I don’t know what all the fuss is about.) No, I understand what mother’s go through, but I feel if they just found that little bit of emotional distance, they might be better off. They are always upset about something, whereas men can take fatherhood very much in their stride. Don’t you agree?
 
Petaro said:
I can understand, as a man, all the problems women face being mothers. I feel your pain. As a father, many was the time when I listened for a few minutes until I went to sleep, to the crying of my son, which apparently went on throughout the night. I would be there when my wife would come back to bed at five in the morning. Then I would hear her get up at six again. She always knew I was right beside her during those early years.
I spoke to her on the phone when she was worried sick about our son’s ear ache, or a temperature. I was always able to advise on asprin or neurophen doses. Often, when I was out to dinner with work colleagues on important business, my wife would ring to complain about some teacher at our son’s school or his bad behaviour. I was always there for her for advice and I might say, some inspirational words.
Motherhood is the peak of a woman’s potential and her love is what makes the little ones grow. I will be the first to say that. I always admire the women I see with five or six children under seven being hauled along the aisles of our shopping centre while I wait having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping. I have always been there for her as the leader of the family.
I even changed a nappy once on a dare. ( It wasn’t hard; I don’t know what all the fuss is about.) No, I understand what mother’s go through, but I feel if they just found that little bit of emotional distance, they might be better off. They are always upset about something, whereas men can take fatherhood very much in their stride. Don’t you agree?
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Is this satire?
I hope so. If it is, it pretty perfectly captures the degree to which many men can relate to this.
If it’s not, alot of us who’d like to whup you upside the head.
:eek:
 
Petaro said:
I can understand, as a man, all the problems women face being mothers. I feel your pain. As a father, many was the time when I listened for a few minutes until I went to sleep, to the crying of my son, which apparently went on throughout the night. I would be there when my wife would come back to bed at five in the morning. Then I would hear her get up at six again. She always knew I was right beside her during those early years.
I spoke to her on the phone when she was worried sick about our son’s ear ache, or a temperature. I was always able to advise on asprin or neurophen doses. Often, when I was out to dinner with work colleagues on important business, my wife would ring to complain about some teacher at our son’s school or his bad behaviour. I was always there for her for advice and I might say, some inspirational words.
Motherhood is the peak of a woman’s potential and her love is what makes the little ones grow. I will be the first to say that. I always admire the women I see with five or six children under seven being hauled along the aisles of our shopping centre while I wait having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping. I have always been there for her as the leader of the family.
I even changed a nappy once on a dare. ( It wasn’t hard; I don’t know what all the fuss is about.) No, I understand what mother’s go through, but I feel if they just found that little bit of emotional distance, they might be better off. They are always upset about something, whereas men can take fatherhood very much in their stride. Don’t you agree?
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I am sure you don’t mean it this way, but it’s very hard for me to read this post and not interpret it as a smug. Men and women are different, yes, and I think many men find it easier to be “emotionally distant” from their children, but I am not sure that is any kind of a solution for both parents (actually being too distant from one’s own children invites new problems - see children who have problems forming healthy attachments because they don’t have examples of them).

On a practical level, I may sometimes envy that my children can be screaming in the middle of the night and my husband blissfully sleeps through it, but could you imagine if we were both like that? :eek:
MacQ said:
Is this satire?
I hope so. If it is, it pretty perfectly captures the degree to which many men can relate to this.
If it’s not, alot of us who’d like to whup you upside the head.
:eek:
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Oh, wow. I didn’t even consider satire. If it is, it honestly makes me feel a lot, lot better. Because I do have that “whup upside the head” feeling. 😛
 
It’s also very honest, even scientifically speaking, that some women are more maternal than other moms.

Some dads are more paternal than other dads.

And sometimes parenthood/motherhood/fatherhood is romanticized.

And none of that helps in the face of hard core reality that parenting/motherhood/fatherhood IS HARD W.O.R.K.!
 
Petaro said:
I can understand, as a man, all the problems women face being mothers. I feel your pain. As a father, many was the time when I listened for a few minutes until I went to sleep, to the crying of my son, which apparently went on throughout the night. I would be there when my wife would come back to bed at five in the morning. Then I would hear her get up at six again. She always knew I was right beside her during those early years.
I spoke to her on the phone when she was worried sick about our son’s ear ache, or a temperature. I was always able to advise on asprin or neurophen doses. Often, when I was out to dinner with work colleagues on important business, my wife would ring to complain about some teacher at our son’s school or his bad behaviour. I was always there for her for advice and I might say, some inspirational words.
Motherhood is the peak of a woman’s potential and her love is what makes the little ones grow. I will be the first to say that. I always admire the women I see with five or six children under seven being hauled along the aisles of our shopping centre while I wait having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping. I have always been there for her as the leader of the family.
I even changed a nappy once on a dare. ( It wasn’t hard; I don’t know what all the fuss is about.) No, I understand what mother’s go through, but I feel if they just found that little bit of emotional distance, they might be better off. They are always upset about something, whereas men can take fatherhood very much in their stride. Don’t you agree?
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I really like how you juxtaposed your ability to understand with your description of your complete lack of awareness for how hard it really is. This is actually very creative writing here. I love satire, and its ability to interject a sense of humor into a difficult subject.👍
 
The year my son was three was the worst year of my life. He was beautiful, smart and funny - and like a cross between a monkey and an octopus. ALL DAY LONG. He used to fall asleep STANDING UP. Needless to say, I was exhausted and a total basket case. I even had a brain and spinal MRI because I was twitching like crazy and thought I had a fatal disease! Diagnosis: Sleep deprivation.

Fast forward to age 10. He’s changed so much, is much more independent and-although he can still be a PITA, he is so interesting and nice.

I recently heard the phrase: The days are so long, but the years are so short".

There were definitely things I hated about motherhood, but that statement pretty much sums it up.
 
Marie5890 said:
It’s also very honest, even scientifically speaking, that some women are more maternal than other moms.

Some dads are more paternal than other dads.

And sometimes parenthood/motherhood/fatherhood is romanticized.

And none of that helps in the face of hard core reality that parenting/motherhood/fatherhood IS HARD W.O.R.K.!
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It’s also true that parents can handle some ages and stages better than others. I was terrified of the newborn and early infant stages, and turns out I’m actually amazing at that (IMHO ;)). I have a hard time with 2-3 (which is pretty common, but some people just have a knack for that), but so far I do OK with preschoolers and even middle/high schoolers (from my experiences babysitting and teaching - we’ll see when they’re my own kids ;)). I also subbed a few times in primary schools and wow, that about killed me. But again, we’ll see when it’s my own kids.

So it’s perfectly fine to know that you might just be in a hard phase, even though the hard phases have their joys, too.
Marie5890 said:
No.

Discipleship to Christ is the peak of a woman’s (or man’s) potential.
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👍

Of course Serap is called to be the mom of her kids, but not every woman is called to be a mom at all, and not all moms are called to be the same kind of mom. And even then, cooperating with God’s will for us does not mean that it won’t be hard!
 
Serap said:
… I"m about to sell him to the gypsies for $10. 😛 …
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We have a running joke with our kids that the one thing that saves families is “on the days you would be willing to sell them, no one could ever find you a buyer.” 😃

I remember my mom laughing at a child care expert who told a caller that he himself regularly wet the bed to such an advanced age that he now thinks it a wonder that his mother didn’t have him sleep on a bed made of chicken wire.

If we did those things that cross our minds to do on the bad days, they’d lock us all up. (But if the judges only locked us up for thinking it and then got to take the kids home themselves for a few weeks, they’d let us back out again and give us medals for only thinking it and not doing it! :p)
 
oh man I could have written your post word for word today! You are not alone…I can’t wait to be a grandma but being a mom is just plain hard and I just have a hard time doing it these days. To be fair as my 2 older kids have grown up (they’re 9 and 6) it’s gotten much easier and funner so that is something to look forward to…But right now I’ have an almost 4 year old who is, uh “spirited” and rather defiant and a little 8 mth old and I pretty much have come to accept that I just don’t like little kids lol! (although I do love squishy babies lol…when they get to be about 2 I have a hard time dealing with them till they are more like 4-5…)
 
Petaro said:
I can understand, as a man, all the problems women face being mothers. I feel your pain. As a father, many was the time when I listened for a few minutes until I went to sleep, to the crying of my son, which apparently went on throughout the night. I would be there when my wife would come back to bed at five in the morning. Then I would hear her get up at six again. She always knew I was right beside her during those early years.
I spoke to her on the phone when she was worried sick about our son’s ear ache, or a temperature. I was always able to advise on asprin or neurophen doses. Often, when I was out to dinner with work colleagues on important business, my wife would ring to complain about some teacher at our son’s school or his bad behaviour. I was always there for her for advice and I might say, some inspirational words.
Motherhood is the peak of a woman’s potential and her love is what makes the little ones grow. I will be the first to say that. I always admire the women I see with five or six children under seven being hauled along the aisles of our shopping centre while I wait having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping. I have always been there for her as the leader of the family.
I even changed a nappy once on a dare. ( It wasn’t hard; I don’t know what all the fuss is about.) No, I understand what mother’s go through, but I feel if they just found that little bit of emotional distance, they might be better off. They are always upset about something, whereas men can take fatherhood very much in their stride. Don’t you agree?
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😃 cute
 
Petaro said:
I can understand, as a man, all the problems women face being mothers. I feel your pain. As a father, many was the time when I listened for a few minutes until I went to sleep, to the crying of my son, which apparently went on throughout the night. I would be there when my wife would come back to bed at five in the morning. Then I would hear her get up at six again. She always knew I was right beside her during those early years.
I spoke to her on the phone when she was worried sick about our son’s ear ache, or a temperature. I was always able to advise on asprin or neurophen doses. Often, when I was out to dinner with work colleagues on important business, my wife would ring to complain about some teacher at our son’s school or his bad behaviour. I was always there for her for advice and I might say, some inspirational words.
Motherhood is the peak of a woman’s potential and her love is what makes the little ones grow. I will be the first to say that. I always admire the women I see with five or six children under seven being hauled along the aisles of our shopping centre while I wait having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping. I have always been there for her as the leader of the family.
I even changed a nappy once on a dare. ( It wasn’t hard; I don’t know what all the fuss is about.) No, I understand what mother’s go through, but I feel if they just found that little bit of emotional distance, they might be better off. They are always upset about something, whereas men can take fatherhood very much in their stride. Don’t you agree?
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Yeah, the, “having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping” line tipped the scales in favor of “total satire” for me. Incredibly subtle, though. Nice! (I hope).
 
Angel_Gabriel said:
oh man I could have written your post word for word today! You are not alone…I can’t wait to be a grandma but being a mom is just plain hard and I just have a hard time doing it these days. To be fair as my 2 older kids have grown up (they’re 9 and 6) it’s gotten much easier and funner so that is something to look forward to…But right now I’ have an almost 4 year old who is, uh “spirited” and rather defiant and a little 8 mth old and I pretty much have come to accept that I just don’t like little kids lol! (although I do love squishy babies lol…when they get to be about 2 I have a hard time dealing with them till they are more like 4-5…)
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High five sista!!

My son is spirited and gotta say every year is getting a bit easier. He’s turning 5 in December and I can’t WAIT until he’s 7 or 8…seriously!!!

Why can’t I just sell him to the gypsies???

But those big blue eyes and innocent high pitched voice…and those kisses when I am mad at him. Those “I love you mommy”…ughhhh!

Yesterday, he saw a scab on my knee, left and came back with a Spiderman bandaid. “Mommy, I love you so much, you can have one of my SpiderMan bandages”

I woke up this morning and noticed my knee…a wave of love swept over me.

Dang it!!! I want to complain today!!!
 
Overture said:
Yeah, the, “having coffee whilst my wife does the shopping” line tipped the scales in favor of “total satire” for me. Incredibly subtle, though. Nice! (I hope).
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well written!!! I thought it was hilarious!!! Cute as heck.
 
EasterJoy said:
We have a running joke with our kids that the one thing that saves families is “on the days you would be willing to sell them, no one could ever find you a buyer.” 😃

I remember my mom laughing at a child care expert who told a caller that he himself regularly wet the bed to such an advanced age that he now thinks it a wonder that his mother didn’t have him sleep on a bed made of chicken wire.

If we did those things that cross our minds to do on the bad days, they’d lock us all up. (But if the judges only locked us up for thinking it and then got to take the kids home themselves for a few weeks, they’d let us back out again and give us medals for only thinking it and not doing it! :p)
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My son is the most beautiful little boy. He’s rich in thoughts and ideas. I love watching him play with his cars and trains. He is very bright.

He likes to go against the grain and it drives me BONKERS!!! I’m constantly correcting his behaviour.

His teacher just recommended him for an early intervention social skills development course…I was like…can I sign up too???
 
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