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ela2
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Hey Serap, have you tried dancing with your son? What would his reaction be if you suddenly grab him during one of his meltdowns and start dancing? Hopefully both of you will laugh like crazy 
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Serap
Guest
That would just make it worse. He would get really mad at me and start scratching and kicking to get down.Hey Serap, have you tried dancing with your son? What would his reaction be if you suddenly grab him during one of his meltdowns and start dancing? Hopefully both of you will laugh like crazy
I find during a meltdown that if I tell him Iâll take his cookies out of his lunch if he doesnât stop, that usually works.
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Serap
Guest
Good job moma!!!yes that was so thought! But thanks to God now she is older, it has gotten easier and while she still wakes up at 4:30-5 am, she reads a book, etc. In fact lately she has been doing homework at that time in the morning because she says she feels more awake so I think from a school point of view the past problem is becoming productive hehe
When she was around first or second grade we tried melatonin too which helped at least to make her sleep 7 hours. We also had to eliminate TV, computer, video games and many other things. She was allowed these only until 6 pm and then we would take her to do sports and then it took a ton to teach her not to wake me up at 4 am but I think finally paid off. But every time I remember the first three years, uf I wanted to run away like crazy Lol
Oh and I love that passage from Luke! So in point to remind us not to get too anxious.
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Xantippe
Guest
Thatâs good.
In a really bad meltdown, threatening consequences or inflicting consequences just makes it worse.
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Serap
Guest
kids all come with different rules donât they
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Xantippe
Guest
Yep.
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EasterJoy
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âŚand not one of them comes with a manual or a visitorâs guide.
Parents have to be cultural anthropologists in their own homes!!!
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PaulinVA
Guest
The problem is that by the time they are grown, you finally have it down. So, you have all this experience and the kids are gone⌠In some ways itâs not fair. I think thatâs why a lot of grandparents are mellow and fun to be around with kids.âŚand not one of them comes with a manual or a visitorâs guide.
Parents have to be cultural anthropologists in their own homes!!!
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Angel_Gabriel
Guest
I think thatâs partly trueâŚI also think that they are way calmer because they typically donât have to do all the unpleasant things that parents have to doâŚbaths, dinner, homework etcâŚand of course all the âfightsâ that come with those things
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EasterJoy
Guest
My MIL lived with us until she died at about the time our kids were in fifth grade. I came to see that children give a family its life, parents provide the discipline and structure, and grandparents provide perspective. That middle job is not a lot of fun, but it is as important as the other two. (It really is a âthree-legged stool.â)
If you donât have aunts and uncles and grandparents around or donât have a particularly good extended family relationship with them, nor any friends to fill that role, that means you have more of the burden of balancing your familyâs life and perceiving where balance is needed. After all, it is a lot easier to tell someone else to lighten up and worry less than it is to tell yourself that. It is much easier to see where someone else is in denial about a serious situation than to see when you are in denial. It helps a lot to have another perspective about which of your problems are worth be concerned about or proactive about and which arenât.
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Xantippe
Guest
Yes.I think thatâs partly trueâŚI also think that they are way calmer because they typically donât have to do all the unpleasant things that parents have to doâŚbaths, dinner, homework etcâŚand of course all the âfightsâ that come with those things
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EasterJoy
Guest
Oh, yes. Ask grandparents who are forced to parent their grandchildren because their children have died or are not capable, available, or fit to parent. It is a lot different and a lot harder. The grandparents who find the energy to do it because they have to do it are heroes. The ones who are able to look forward to the day when their grandchildrenâs parents can come back and parent (and do it well) look forward to it with great anticipation!!I think thatâs partly trueâŚI also think that they are way calmer because they typically donât have to do all the unpleasant things that parents have to doâŚbaths, dinner, homework etcâŚand of course all the âfightsâ that come with those things
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captainmike
Guest
hey, if you think itâs tough now, just wait until they are teenagers. 
but itâs worth it. would do it again and have more next time.
but itâs worth it. would do it again and have more next time.
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Jerome1974
Guest
Want to trade places? All I want is to go back to being a husband and father. Nonetheless, you, your husband, and your children are in my prayers. Try listening while praying(instead of talking to God) and seek his guidance. Try to hear him talk to you. For what itâs worth, I do feel where youâre coming from. I felt something similar before I lost it. I canât believe Iâm about to invoke a pop culture reference, but my generation knows a song by the 80âs band Cinderella about not knowing what youâve gotâŚ
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Serap
Guest
Or Joni Mitchell
âYou donât know what youâve got till its goneâŚâ
My kids are a lot of fun too
Iâm sorry to hear of your loss!!
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Serap
Guest
Had the best day today. My son started soccer and he was so happy. Loved watching him.
Then the little turd had a temper tantrum in the grocery store cause I wouldnât buy him candy.
Then the little turd had a temper tantrum in the grocery store cause I wouldnât buy him candy.
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LongingSoul
Guest
Iâm Australian ⌠we are big swearers⌠but still Iâm shocked by your description of your son.
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Serap
Guest
Humor is good medicine.
I love my son with all my heart and soul, but it doesnât mean I have to always like the job of âmotherâ. Most of what I am writing is satirical. Please donât read it as literal interpretation.
Are you a mom? If I read this thread before becoming a mother, I would have been shocked too.
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CradleJourney
Guest
If I had known before becoming a mom everything I would be seeing/hearing/doing I would be shocked too - and never ever thought I could do it
Personally Iâd say my ratio of enjoyment to non-enjoyment to utter antipathy is about 1:22:1 at this stage of the game (kids at home aged 9-16, kids âawayâ aged 20 & 27).
A moment came recently when I realized I had truly surrendered to the state of motherhood.
It was when I found myself, quite calmly and without a second thought, adding live crickets to the shopping list, stopping in and picking the icky things up, and driving home with them in the backseat. Yep, me the insect hater, did this without a whine, whimper, cuss word, or bit of hesitation - or enjoyment. You see, the kids are raising the lizard as a scout project, they had other things they had to do so could not make the trip with me, and the lizard needed food. It was just a mom thing that needed to be done.
See personally, I not only want my original body back - I want my original mind back as well! The one that didnât respond to every gross, scary, icky, creepy thing with a sigh and a cleaning rag!
I donât necessarily need more enjoyment - just less ability. (She who can do much is expected to do much.) LOL! These were not the skill sets I dreamed of having as a grown up.
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LongingSoul
Guest
Itâs not the thread that surprised me, it was calling your son a t*** in the above post. Where I come from that is a highly vulgar term to describe someone.
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