I don't know what to do anymore

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Are you only looking to work before the baby is born? After the baby is born is your financial situation different because if its not and you can afford to stay home then, I guess I am not understanding the issue now?
 
I remember back when I was newly married and we had our second baby when we were living in a 1BR/1 den apartment. 920 square feet. Teeny kitchen. One car. One income. It sure was easy to keep it all clean! I had more time to take care of and play with the babies. I miss those days. I was happy then. Or thought I was happy. And keeping both babies in the same room worked well. They still share a room and they’re teenagers. 😉

They say men with families earn more than single men and go further in their careers. My theory is it’s because they have to. Having mouths to feed is a great incentive not to be complacent and stay at the same job forever. This could be just the firecracker lit under your husband to make him reach for the next step up the ladder. Support him and praise him for what he does.

And there are jobs for you… tutoring after school. I substitute teach. It’s a very flexible job. And it can be very amusing. As someone said, daycare in the home. Some medical billing or bookkeeping jobs can be done at home. Grant writers and research jobs can be done at home. You may be shocked how many people work out of their homes now. Start asking around and networking.

And pray to St. Joseph. He always comes through with work. He’s the patron of workers, you know. He’s completely aware of the responsibility to support a family. And don’t let your husband get away with not going to church. Tell him YOU need him beside you.

Do not let your mantra be “we’re doomed” Make it “We can do this and in a year or two we’ll look back on this and laugh.”

And remember… you have the rest of your life to make money. Fertility isn’t forever. Be grateful God gave you the gift of another child. There are many people with multiple cars and huge houses that are empty and they can’t have a child to save their lives. The best thing you can give your child is a sibling. All that other stuff will end up in a landfill someday.
 
Something that always helps me when I’m down spiritually is to say to myself, “The devil must really be coming after me because he knows God is about to do something really great.”

You have a lot of good advice in those previous posts.
 
What kind of work does your husband do? We are in St. Mary’s County, MD and there seems to be so much work here because the growth is explosive. We’ve got the base and all of the contractors on one strip of rt. 235.
Not to mention, it is a great Catholic community!
 
Move this to prayer intentions! Lord God of mercy, you know the hearts of FLCathMom and DH. You have marvelled at their faith and obedience. Strengthen them now as they sacrifice for the furtherance of your Kingdom by welcoming a heavenly blessing. May they offer up their suffering in full knowledge that You, O Divine parent, love them beyond understanding and are preparing them for the next stage of their lives together. Help them to remember, gracious Lord, that they live not for this life, but the next. May they trust you throughout every day, knowing that the love in their family is the cause of celebration in heaven. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
 
maria29 said:
Are you only looking to work before the baby is born? After the baby is born is your financial situation different because if its not and you can afford to stay home then, I guess I am not understanding the issue now?
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I don’t know. DH says we’ll be fine, that this job will end up working out eventually and we’ll have enough to pay the bills. I will not put a newborn in daycare, so no matter what, yes, I’ll be home again even if it means working at opposite times with DH so he can watch the baby or DH working around the clock.
 
MooCowSteph said:
Wow, I’ll have to look into that. I have a BA and I worked in special ed all through college and as a substitute, so I have some experience. Thank you! I was thinking about subbing again, too./quoteSubbing is a full day, which is why I decided against it. I LOVE home teaching. I see the student 6 hours/ week and I choose my hours. AA Co pays $25/ hour plus mileage. It’s a good gig. I generally have one student at a time, but on occasion I’ve had two if I can coordinate the hours. There are also private tutoring companies out there who send tutors to students’ homes. Check out Club Z Tutoring; they’re all over MD. —KCT
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Thank you again for your kind replies. I know there are people who have worse problems than me. I know at least I still have my house. I am grateful for my children, of course. I don’t forget how blessed I am to have my daughter and be pregnant again, even if it seems like bad timing. But I do have problems nonetheless that are very real and very stressful, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with reaching out to talk to people about them. Even when other people have bigger problems, that still doesn’t make the lesser problem go away.
 
I would really appreciate a quick prayer - DH is on his way to hopefully finish off his first deal in his new job. fingers crossed Maybe isn’t work out after all.
 
westcoast said:
I’m not sure if this will probably be all that comforting, but I just read
“Everything passes away, and only God remains.”
Meaning, time will pass, and this will be resolved, in one way or another, and you just do not know what the resolution will be (at least, for right now).
And later down the road, you will look back at this time and think, NOOOOOW I get it, noowwww I get what God was doing.
But for now, no matter what, He is aware of what is going on in your life, and is aware that you are struggling with faith in Him. He doesn’t want you to fall away, but wants you grasp even more for Him, rely on Him even when nothing, absolutely nothing, seems like it will work out. Well, not to speak for God or anything, but that is what I believe.
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sorry, off topic… but who wrote that book? It sounds very good!
 
po18guy said:
Move this to prayer intentions! Lord God of mercy, you know the hearts of FLCathMom and DH. You have marvelled at their faith and obedience. Strengthen them now as they sacrifice for the furtherance of your Kingdom by welcoming a heavenly blessing. May they offer up their suffering in full knowledge that You, O Divine parent, love them beyond understanding and are preparing them for the next stage of their lives together. Help them to remember, gracious Lord, that they live not for this life, but the next. May they trust you throughout every day, knowing that the love in their family is the cause of celebration in heaven. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
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Thanks for the prayer, but I think you meant to say it for MooCowSteph. 🙂
 
MY DH AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 31 1/2 YRS. WHEN WE MARRIED, HE WAS IN HIS LAST YEAR OF RESPIRATORY THERAPY SCHOOL. OUR PARENTS AND FAMILY HELPED US SOME TO GET GOING IN OUR MARRIAGE … PRACTICAL WEDDING GIFTS, WOULD BUY CLOTHING FOR THE KIDS, WOULD BUY A COUPLE BOXES OF CEREAL AND A LOAF OF BREAD FOR US, AND SO FORTH THROUGHOUT THE YEARS. BUT WE NEVER EXPECTED IT NOR ASKED FOR THE HELP! WE WANTED TO DO THINGS ON OUR OWN. IN ALL OUR YEARS OF MARRIAGE, WE HAVE LIVED NEAR FAMILY ONLY 1 1/2 YRS OF IT. WE LEARNED TO BE SELF-RELIANT.

WE WERE LOW INCOME. WE NEVER GOT ANY FINANCIAL HELP FROM ANY AGENCY. WE PAID OUR BILLS FIRST, AND WHATEVER WAS LEFT FOR FOOD … THAT WAS IT. I CAN TELL YOU, OUR DIET WAS NOT THE BEST BUT AT LEAST WE HAD FOOD IN OUR BELLIES! AND WE DID NOT BUY BABY FOODS OR DIAPERS!! WE FIXED OUR OWN AND USED CLOTH.

WE LIVED IN A ONE BEDROOM TINY APARTMENT WHEN OUR FIRST CHILD ARRIVED. SHE WAS ABOUT 6 WEEKS EARLY AND IS SPECIAL NEEDS. [SHE AT AGE 31 YRS OLD LIVES WITH US YET]. SHE SLEPT IN A CRIB IN THE ROOM WITH US. HER ‘DRESSER’ WAS A BOX .MY DH AND I SHARED ONE SMALL CHEAP WOOD DRESSER WITH FOUR DRAWERS. WHEN MY DH GRADUATED AND WE MOVED, WE GOT A SMALL 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT.

WHEN WE HAD OUR SECOND CHILD, WE WERE RENTING IN AN OLD HOUSE THAT WAS MADE INTO 3 APARTMENTS. OURS WAS THE BIGGEST. BUT STILL, OUR SON AND DAUGHTER SHARED A SMALL ROOM WITH ONE DRESSER.

WHEN OUR 3RD CHILD WAS BORN, WE HAD JUST MOVED A MONTH BEFORE THAT. MY HUSBAND HAD TAKEN A NEW JOB AT LESS MONEY THAN HIS FORMER JOB; IT WAS A STEP UP THE WORK LADDER IN HIS FIELD AND BECAUSE WE THEN LIVED NEAR A CITY, OUR RENT AND EXPENSES WERE MUCH HIGHER THAN WHAT WE HAD BEEN PAYING.

FLASH FORWARD: WHENEVER I WORKED OUTSIDE THE HOME WHEN SHE AND THE BOYS WERE SMALL, WE TRIED TO MAKE IT THAT WE NEEDED A SITTER ONLY A COUPLE HOURS DUE TO OVERLAPPING SHIFTS - OR - NO SITTER WAS NEEDED AT ALL DUE TO OUR SCHEDULES WORKING OUT THAT WAY.

FLASH FORWARD AGAIN; IN '91 WE MOVED TO THIS HOUSE [OUR 2nd ONE WE HAVE OWNED; *FIRST ONE WAS BOUGHT IN ‘86 …TEN YEARS AFTER WE MARRIED!]. SIX WEEKS LATER I WAS HIT HEAD-ON WHILE TAKING THE KIDS TO CCD. SERIOUS INJURIES FOR OUR OLDEST SON [LIFE-FLIGHTED] AND ME; OTHER TWO TREATED AND RELEASED. MY HUSBAND SWITCHED AROUND HIS JOB FROM DEPT HEAD TO ASSIST. DEPT HEAD IN ORDER TO CARE FOR THE NEEDS OF OUR SON AND ME. A YEAR AFTER THAT,MY HUSBAND’S JOB WAS CUT. SO HE STEPPED BACK THE LADDER AND TOOK A $5,000 A YEAR CUT IN PAY. WE HAD A MORTGAGE, HIGH MVA MEDICAL EXPENSES BUILDING UP [WE ENDED UP HAVING TO PAY FOR MOST OF THEM IN THE END], I WAS UNABLE TO WORK AGAIN FOR SOME TIME, EVEN OUR KIDS’ REGULAR MEDICAL EXPENSES WERE HIGH YET, AND AND AND …

FLASH FORWARD: 1996 … MY DH WAS HIT HEAD -N BY A DRUNK DRIVER. MORE BILLS!

FLASH FORWARD: 2000: OUR OLDEST SON AND HIS GF HAD TO MOVE UP THEIR WEDDING DAY, WE PAID FOR 99% OF IT, AND THEY LIVED WITH US 4 1/2 MONTHS RENT/BILL FREE.

FLASH FORWARD: TODAY. WE ARE IN OUR EARLY 50’S AND OUR FINANCES HAVE NOT CHANGED MUCH AT ALL IN RELATION TO THE YEAR WE LIVE IN COMPARED TO YEARS PAST. [YOU MIGHT MAKE MORE TODAY BUT THINGS COST LIKE THEY ALWAYS DID … TOO MUCH!]. NO WE DON’T HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT TO BOAST ABOUT.WE GET BY PAY TO PAY. MY DH TO THIS DAY MAKES ENOUGH TO PAY THE BILLS MORE OFTEN THAN ANYTHING ELSE. WHEN WE DO HAVE SOME LEFT OVER WE MIGHT GO OUT TO A CHEAP MOVIE OR DINNER, BUT USUALLY WE JUST BUY A BOOK FOR EACH OF US TO READ, AND SO ON.

BUT GUESS WHAT? LEARN TO LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS! WE HAVE NOT HAD CREDIT CARDS FOR 12 YEARS! IT CAN BE DONE!! GOD PROVIDES!! WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, HE MAKES SURE YOU ARE TAKEN CARE OF. JUST CONTINUE TO PRAY TO HIM AND BE FAITHFUL!

GOD BLESS!
 
po18guy said:
Move this to prayer intentions! Lord God of mercy, you know the hearts of MooCowSteph and DH. You have marvelled at their faith and obedience. Strengthen them now as they sacrifice for the furtherance of your Kingdom by welcoming a heavenly blessing. May they offer up their suffering in full knowledge that You, O Divine parent, love them beyond understanding and are preparing them for the next stage of their lives together. Help them to remember, gracious Lord, that they live not for this life, but the next. May they trust you throughout every day, knowing that the love in their family is the cause of celebration in heaven. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
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There. I hope the Lord knew who I was actually praying for…👍

FlaCathMom, you’re still in there too!
 
**Steph! **

Let me just say that God DOES provide. We’ve been super tight financially, and when I say that I mean it. There have been months we go without some real basics (like meat) to cut costs. I am unable to work. We have huge medical bills on top of it all. And we still make it. We thank God for EVERYTHING. We waste NOTHING. We’ve learned to live a whole new way of life of pure trust in God for the basics, the essentials, and have grown tremendously because of it.

**Think of this as a time to grow. It may SEEM that you are loosing faith/trust, but God is wanting you to grow in those things through this rough spot. And, believe it or not, you are already. You’ve begun by talking about it with good christians who care. You wanted nothing more than to not loose faith or hope, and you’ve overcome it by posting rather than holding it in. **

**I might be able to give you some ideas that you haven’t even begun to think about. Little hidden cracks and crevices where money “hides.” But, more than that I offer you my shoulder to cry on, and prayers for you. My PM is always open if you ever need/want to talk to someone who’s been through it too. 👍 **
 
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