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jzea1992
Guest
For richer, for poorer , in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. She needs to remember the vow she chose to make.
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BigRon
Guest
We, this has been the worst Christmas ever, my wife isn’t speaking to me and won’t even look at me. I have prayed and prayed and prayed but still this nightmare continues.
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VeryBlessed
Guest
Do NOT look to your circumstances for comfort or satisfaction… Keep your eyes steadfastly on Jesus and make yourself believe in his GOOD will and intentions towards you. What are you going to believe, what you see (your circumstances), or what Jesus says? You are treasured, loved and liked by God. He has it in for you - to BLESS you. He will walk with you through these deep waters.
Be bold and open and vulnerable with your former employer and your wife. Pursue them respectfully until you get answers. Listen carefully and with real openness to what they say. With your former employer or your wife, if they say some difficult things about you, receive it in humility and see if there is some grain of truth in what they say. Especially with your wife, now is the time to pour out Gods unconditional love on her - give without expectations of getting anything back. We’re pulling for you & praying!
Be bold and open and vulnerable with your former employer and your wife. Pursue them respectfully until you get answers. Listen carefully and with real openness to what they say. With your former employer or your wife, if they say some difficult things about you, receive it in humility and see if there is some grain of truth in what they say. Especially with your wife, now is the time to pour out Gods unconditional love on her - give without expectations of getting anything back. We’re pulling for you & praying!
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Annie
Guest
Do you know what makes your wife feel particularly loved? Check out the 5 love languages if you don’t, but look back first and see what has brought out the best reactions from her.
And consider how your reaction to your job situation may have felt to her: did you withdraw? Were you grumpy 23/7? Etc.
And consider how your reaction to your job situation may have felt to her: did you withdraw? Were you grumpy 23/7? Etc.
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Divine3
Guest
Talk to a priest, see if you and wife can get help in your relationship, prayers for u, your family and wife.
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BigRon
Guest
Almost 40 days I’ve had the silent treatment, ridiculous. I feel like I’m being mentally tortured.
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Elf01
Guest
How did the meeting go?
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BigRon
Guest
Not enjoyable although not as bad as my worst fears. It shows how devious and nasty some people out there are. I have to have another one soon. Thanks for asking.
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goout
Guest
What is your plan to move forward?po18guy:
That’s the way the employer works, I saw it happen to a woman in the summer, hers lasted 10 weeks. First few days my wife was supportive until she spoke to a friend and since then completely ignored me. I’ve been to confession.
An attorney specializing in employment issues will very quickly discover why you were terminated, or, if there is no reason you may get a settlement.
Make a plan. That includes your wife.
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BigRon
Guest
I can’t move forward workwise until they have made a final decision.
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goout
Guest
Yes you can move forward.
Find the things you can do something about, and make a plan. Those things you can’t fix, be patient.
You can change how you react to life. You can change the tone of your marriage.
Simply committing to making a plan will start the process. You have to desire it.
Best advice I ever got:
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BigRon
Guest
I am completely disillusioned, I don’t believe this suffering will ever end, it is too much to cope with. I am completely heartbroken now and feel like God is siding with those that are in the wrong. Why is there no day off from suffering?
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Bithynian
Guest
I’m glad to see that others have been offering as much prayerful support as they can in this thread.
Have you thought about making an appointment with your priest, or even a licensed counselor? I feel that sitting down and having a face-to-face discussion with a professional (whether spiritual or otherwise) would do some good in, at least, clarifying your situation and continuously supporting you in resolving them.
Internet forums can be a bit haphazard due to the range of different advice: “too many cooks in the kitchen” so to speak.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
So much agree.
Make an appointment to talk to your priest, go to counseling (in the US, most communities have some sort of “community mental health” center with income sliding scale cost.)
Make an appointment to talk to your priest, go to counseling (in the US, most communities have some sort of “community mental health” center with income sliding scale cost.)
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on_the_hill
Guest
Did I miss the post that said what @BigRon was suspended from work for?
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BigRon
Guest
I can’t afford a counsellor plus a counsellor can’t fix my problems. I think God is trying to show me He doesn’t care about me at all, every day my life gets worse and worse. If God is ignoring me then why am I still going to adoration, Mass, praying, fasting etc.?
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BigRon
Guest
I didn’t know for six weeks but it turns out I have been accused of grabbing someone’s arm in order to stop them hurting themselves. The woman has retaliated with lies as I had to report her previously for something serious only the previous manager never suspended people and she waited for the first day of the new manager. It has caused major problems in my home as my wife’s friend is stirring trouble saying things like I must know what I was suspended for (originally they keep you in suspense to stop you looking for alibis), she keeps saying to my wife that I’m selfish for being and home and not looking for another job. Firstly I cannot quit my job as they take that as an admission of guilt, secondly I am still being paid my basic wage which would be identical to a new job on minimum wage with full time hours. Before all this happened we were happy but this morning she told me she doesn’t want to be with me anymore.
I did nothing wrong at work and have been honest with her the whole time and this is the treatment I get. I am so angry now at this woman and my wife’s friend, at first I kept telling God that I forgive them but now I’m too angry with them. I also had hope and faith in God that He would help me but that’s pretty much gone as He is watching my world fall apart. I have never prayed and fasted so much but it all seems pointless.
I could lose everything because of calumny. I hate my life so much.
I did nothing wrong at work and have been honest with her the whole time and this is the treatment I get. I am so angry now at this woman and my wife’s friend, at first I kept telling God that I forgive them but now I’m too angry with them. I also had hope and faith in God that He would help me but that’s pretty much gone as He is watching my world fall apart. I have never prayed and fasted so much but it all seems pointless.
I could lose everything because of calumny. I hate my life so much.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
Your priest will charge you 0 dollars to speak with you.
Have you asked about sliding scale/free mental health services? Catholic Charities, your local Unitied Way, there are places in every community who can tell you what is available.
Really, I meant it when I said I will buy you a Kindle book that helped me when I was in deep despair.
A counselor can help you develop ways to cope during times of adversity.
Have you asked about sliding scale/free mental health services? Catholic Charities, your local Unitied Way, there are places in every community who can tell you what is available.
Then God is a liar and we all need to find somethng new to do with our spiritual life.
Really, I meant it when I said I will buy you a Kindle book that helped me when I was in deep despair.
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Kindnessmatters
Guest
In the U S the layoff and reduction in wages are considered “substantial change” in employment which, if they cannot demostrate cause on your part, can be grounds for you to qualify for unemployment if you were to quit However, be prudent about this: If you are getting 3/5 of wages, it’s likely more than unemployment pays, and unemployment pays for a
max of six months. I personally would not do as others are suggesting by demanding an explanation…that might lead to firing. Just take the money and get another job…and I also wouldn’t take just anything. Use this time to work full time in finding a BETTER job. Sure, if you need to supplement wages, take something part time, but your main job is finding something great. Unless you have signed something agreeing not to work, if you land a great new job, continue collecting the layoff pay and consider it severence…you are not obligated to tell them what you are doing during your layoff. If you find they call you back when you are newly employed elsewhere, resign without notice. You owe no explanation except to say “this layoff was unjustified and handled poorly given the lack of explanation, and was harmful to my family, so I am not returning. I view it as termination without cause”. Don’t tell them you are reemployed …none of their business. If they ask, tell them you are not inclined to answer questions given they refused that courtesy to you.
I would immediately and actively seek other work as you can technically claim you are still employed which is a better situation for finding new work. See this as a blessing… you have paid time to job search and interview. If asked why you are looking you can just say “the job market is strong and i feel I can do better”. You are under no obligation to tell a potential employer you are laid off or why. You simply tell them they cannot call your current employer, which is the norm anyway.
All that said…if you have any inkling why you were laid off, be honest with yourself and your wife about it. If there truly is no reason on your part (not using drugs or alcohol, chronically late, stealing, bothering colleagues in any way, taking unearned or extended breaks, etc.) It is probably financial and you shouldn’t take it personally.
Good news…most people increase their pay when they change jobs, you can go to daily mass now, you have time to rest and make positive changes. Tip…no television until after dinner…it’s depressing!
max of six months. I personally would not do as others are suggesting by demanding an explanation…that might lead to firing. Just take the money and get another job…and I also wouldn’t take just anything. Use this time to work full time in finding a BETTER job. Sure, if you need to supplement wages, take something part time, but your main job is finding something great. Unless you have signed something agreeing not to work, if you land a great new job, continue collecting the layoff pay and consider it severence…you are not obligated to tell them what you are doing during your layoff. If you find they call you back when you are newly employed elsewhere, resign without notice. You owe no explanation except to say “this layoff was unjustified and handled poorly given the lack of explanation, and was harmful to my family, so I am not returning. I view it as termination without cause”. Don’t tell them you are reemployed …none of their business. If they ask, tell them you are not inclined to answer questions given they refused that courtesy to you.
I would immediately and actively seek other work as you can technically claim you are still employed which is a better situation for finding new work. See this as a blessing… you have paid time to job search and interview. If asked why you are looking you can just say “the job market is strong and i feel I can do better”. You are under no obligation to tell a potential employer you are laid off or why. You simply tell them they cannot call your current employer, which is the norm anyway.
All that said…if you have any inkling why you were laid off, be honest with yourself and your wife about it. If there truly is no reason on your part (not using drugs or alcohol, chronically late, stealing, bothering colleagues in any way, taking unearned or extended breaks, etc.) It is probably financial and you shouldn’t take it personally.
Good news…most people increase their pay when they change jobs, you can go to daily mass now, you have time to rest and make positive changes. Tip…no television until after dinner…it’s depressing!
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BigRon
Guest
It’s nice that I can get to daily Mass when it is on and adoration. At home I have started to watch Mother Angelica which is nice but I always struggled even on a day off to spend so much time at home.
My work state that if I leave before they have made a decision they see it as me being guilty and they can do harm so I am in limbo.
My wife is breaking my heart, that is the worst bit and God leaving me to suffer so much on top of all the suffering I was struggling with before this.
My work state that if I leave before they have made a decision they see it as me being guilty and they can do harm so I am in limbo.
My wife is breaking my heart, that is the worst bit and God leaving me to suffer so much on top of all the suffering I was struggling with before this.
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