I don't like college and need help: what should I do?

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Honestly, I think it would be very tough to start college during Covid. College is hard enough. I most certainly understand students who consider taking a meaningful gap year.

Covid is going to make subjects like Calculus and linear Algebra especially tough. You really need a study group or easy access to a help center where people can work with you on it…in person. Doing it all online…I wouldn’t recommend that. Like others have said, maybe consider a break…especially with Covid. However, this is a decision not to be taken lightly. Talk to family, friends, and college counselors.

FYI…Calculus is beautiful theory. I loved studying it. I was a physics major. Calculus helped me understand physics, and that helped lead me to God following a rather circuitous route.

As for becoming a priest or religious. It is one thing (A good thing) to discern this in consolation, but it is another thing to think of it as an escape, or to make a decision to be a priest or religious in desolation, which it sounds like you’re in.
 
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A bit off topic, but… I am a professor, and it is very possible to do both tutorials and study groups via zoom. In some ways, it is easier than trying to schedule face-to-face meetings! I would urge students who are struggling to contact their professors, because most of us are trying to be as sympathetic as possible in these times.
 
I think your priority should be getting treatment for your depression. Depression can be very dangerous and can lead to suicide, and many people are suffering from depression during this horrible COVID pandemic and shutdown. You are not alone in this! . Please take steps TODAY to get help for your depression.

Go to your doctor (childhood doctor is fine) and tell him/her what’s happening and ask for help. They may refer you to a psychiatrist in order to get the correct meds or treatment for your depression. If you don’t have a doctor, go to a local free clinic or just go to the nearest clinic (call them first) and ask for help. Others in CAF may have a toll-free phone number that you can call and they will help you find a doctor/clinic in your town.

What are your parents saying? Are they paying the bill for college? Are they pushing you to be in college and study math? Or are they urging you to leave college and learn a trade? Are they even still part of your life, paying for any of your living expenses?
 
If you don’t like math, why did you go to a college that requires it? I intentionally went to a university that didn’t require ANY math or science classes. I’ve never taken any math or science beyond high school. Now the irony of this is that in every job I’ve been in, I’ve been the “numbers person.”
 
As you have already gathered from many of the other repliers to your post: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You’re not…although you may feel as much. With how the COVID lockdowns have effected every aspect of all our lives, loneliness & depression are rampant.

It’s perfectly natural to question your direction in college…particularly when slogging through all the general requirement courses that any degree requires. I remembered it as soul-sucking. Hang in there.

Compared to you, I’m old (48)…so here goes my old man speech to the youth ( 😉): hone in on your passion…something you like…and major in it. HOWEVER, double-major in an other field that can actually get you a job (say, perhaps any of the STEM disciplines).

Me? I majored in history & philosophy because I had a passion for them. It prepared me well for the seminary which I entered right out of college. However, seminary didn’t work out for me and I was stuck in a tight job market with a (largely) useless liberal arts degree. I decided to go to trade school and learn a skilled trade. Now I’m doing fine.
 
What is your dream? Where is your passion? What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?
 
As long as people are talking about your passion and all that, it may not be something like what you think it is.

I always thought it was something like music or art or science, and I just wasn’t really that into any of those.

If I had really good help discerning this, it would have been clear that I have 2 passions, which I did not realize until after college and also never realized I was particularly good at until years later.

Look at what you do. For example, you enjoy tinkering with cars and talking about cars with your friends. In addition, you sometimes help people fix their cars.

On top of that, people return to you when they have more problems!

The first part indicates your interest; people asking again shows you are good at it.

This can be a way to find out what your “passion” is.
 
I would like to be a farmer,
but the course has nothing to do with rural living as far as I have seen. Exception is to build machines for farms, but I am interested in it.
 
Don’t dismiss your heart. If you feel restless, there’s probably a reason. Take it to the Lord, take it to a spiritual director.

If you’re unhappy at your school or in your town, I would consider doing something to change that, either moving, transferring, or finding a new group of friends. Is there a newman center on campus? Catholic young adults group nearby? Maybe it’s time to start one 🙂

In any case, I would recommend praying hard about what it is that is causing your unhappiness. Transferring or entering religious life will not be the antitdote if the cause of your unhappiness was something completely unrelated.

I will pray that the Lord uses this time to guide you!
 
What school was this? The only school I’ve heard of that doesn’t require math is Northwestern University.

I’ve also heard of students getting out of Math by taking AP calc in high school or dual enrollment/transfer units.
 
Honestly, I think it would be very tough to start college during Covid. College is hard enough. I most certainly understand students who consider taking a meaningful gap year.
It does actually have its perks, depending on what type of learner you are. For example, if the course is set up asynchronously (with recorded lectures) - or even with set times but recorded with the option of rewatching later - this can be very useful for some students. To put it bluntly, a lot of lecture time, especially in first year courses, is simply a waste of time. (I’m convinced half of all 1st yr courses are simply jobs programs for professors) In the traditional in-person format, you’re simply stuck unless you skip entirely. With recorded lectures, you have the benefit of being able to fast-forward or skip unimportant parts. For those whose minds work at a million miles a minute, being able to increase the play rate to 1.5X can also increase focus. Not to mention just minimizing the time spent on lectures, which is usually a good idea - lectures being proven to be the least effective way of learning.

Not being able to personally interact with profs and other students is really the only downside. Admittedly it’s a major, colossal one for many people. Basically, there’s a million small benefits, and one big downside that you have to weigh against each other.

Homeschoolers, as well as anyone who is effective at self-learning, have a major advantage in this set-up. So it all depends on the type of learner. If one is very efficient, and going into a typical first year where the coursework isn’t too heavy, Covid-style school could be a huge financial benefit too by allowing one extra time to work.

That all being said, it’s all still pretty ridiculous, and taking a gap year is perfectly understandable.

And yes, Calculus is beautiful, as is physics. Really the only sciences that I ever had much interest in.
 
The vast majority of our students hate asynchronous classes. Most are okay with synchronous online classes, but hate hybrid ones. What students miss most (and this is based on extensive survey research) are the social dimensions of college life–not just parties, but face-to-face interactions with peers and faculty, as well as sports, etc.

In the past week, I have had 5 students come to my (virtual) office hours with stress and emotional issues. All are bright, responsible young people. It is extremely hard… And, I should point out, it’s really hard for the faculty, too! Yesterday, which is supposed to be a “free” day for me (no classes to teach), I spent 8-1/2 hours on Zoom with meetings, independent studies, 2 webinars, and a dissertation proposal defense.

These are not normal times. I’'m not sure it’s the best time to make life decisions. If you do, pllease get support: spiritual and (if appropriate) psychological.
 
Not being able to personally interact with profs and other students is really the only downside. Admittedly it’s a major, colossal one for many people.
🤔 This is a good comment. It sums up my views on higher education today quite well!
What students miss most (and this is based on extensive survey research) are the social dimensions of college life–not just parties, but face-to-face interactions with peers and faculty, as well as sports, etc.
This is too sums up my feeling on higher education.
 
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Engineering and you hate math and want to go into farming…

For future reference, engineering requires a lot of math, even more math than you are taking now. And all those higher math courses will also have a lot of math in them!

Can you switch to agriculture?

As to being a farmer, if you are in the US, almost all small farmers have second jobs. You could do something like study ag, become an agricultural extension agent in a rural area, and thus work with farmers, save up and buy a smallish bit of land and be a farmer as well. Unless you manage to get on as a specialist farmer, you will continue to need the second job.

When you buy the land, have the soil checked for how good it is for growing crops before you buy it. If you must put down a deposit quickly, make it contingent in passing the soil test.

There are probably many other options; first, if you go to a school more centered around agriculture you will be able to talk with the guidance counselors there about what you like about the idea of being a farmer and what other options you would have.
 
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Actually, I don’t hate math, sorry, I wasn’t clear. I don’t like it the same way nowadays.

When I was in high school, I liked to study math. It was like a game wherein I could use logic to solve interesting problems, like maximizing profits and evaluating time. The best of math is this: statistics and trigonometry.

Currently, these subjects compelles me more than the major subjects: philosophy, history, theology, psychology, rhetoric and foreing languages.

Switching major is not an easy decision. How can I know if it is good for me to do that and I won’t regret?
 
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If you know nothing about the farming life, how about not doing school next semester but getting an internship? I do not know if that is possible, but if it is, you would be killing 2 birds with one stone: checking out a lifestyle which currently appeals to you, and taking a break from online coursework.

I am offering that as a potential option, but I am sure you could have many more. Think outside the box. Maybe just getting more involved in study groups as mentioned above will help you out.

You kind of have to take the problem apart to see which parts are bothering you and then go from there.

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Switching major is not an easy decision. How can I know if it is good for me to do that and I won’t regret?
First, how do you know you won’t regret continuing in engineering? Everything is a bit of a risk. Plus I’m sure there is a need for engineers in agribusiness–you could work on robotic strawberry pickers or something like that!

Second, talk to the guidance department at your school. This sort of problem is their job 🙂
 
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