I don't like college and need help: what should I do?

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Gabriel2

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Well, first and foremost, I will introduce me. I am 19 and am in the first year of the college, studying subjects like calculus and linear algebra, which have too much math. I always wonder: “why am I studying this? How can this lead me to God?”, unmotivated to study and to work after graduating. I converted a few months before entering in the college. But, since my convertion, every day I think about becoming a priest or a religious, which is not my desire, but I want to follow the Lord’s calling because it is objectively good to do so. I am not sure if it is my vocation either.

Due to COVID-19 pandemic, I am really badly, tired, certainly I am depressed. Studying these subjects online is really boring and is increasing my anxiety (though the course is in person, the subjects are being offered online to avoid the disease spreading). If I flunk, this will not be registered in the curriculum. Should I stop studying during this time?

Also, what would you say about studying/working in something I don’t like? Isn’t it a cross? Am I not expected to take up the daily crosses? Or is it better to do something I like?
 
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It’s a cross. It leads you to God by a) considering things that He made and studying them, just because He made it b) it instills discipline and follow-through, completing college c) you’ll have to go to college if you become a priest anyway d) you can use this knowledge to help people (instructing the ignorant is a work of mercy) by tutoring them e) we have a moral obligation to develop ourselves in all areas as much as possible, math like this exercises the mind. Studying anything in life, including things you like, is going to involve suffering and misery. This is practice for that. Completing college is a good thing, and if you become a monk or priest after then you’ll have gotten study skills beforehand which will come in handy later.
 
I’m sorry you’re struggling.

First things first - your mental health. Does your college offer a counseling service you could use? Is it possible for you to get a doctor’s appointment to talk about your health with them? If you can, I really think you should do so as soon as possible.
Gabriel2 said:
Or is it better to do something I like?
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Is it possible for you to switch what you’re doing? I’m not American so I’m not sure how this would work, but if you are able, I think you should. Could you also reach out to your teachers and let them know how you’re feeling? They may be able to help you out.
 
Gabriel2 said:
But, since my convertion, every day I think about becoming a priest or a religious, which is not my desire, but I want to follow the Lord’s calling because it is objectively good to do so
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Why do you think God is calling you to the religious life? Especially since it is not your desire?
Gabriel2 said:
studying subjects like calculus and linear algebra, which have too much math.
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They’re math courses, they’re bound to have a lot of math!

Are these required for your major or general requirements to graduate? In that case… it’s a cross: it is the difficult part of getting to where you want to go.
Gabriel2 said:
Also, what would you say about studying/working in something I don’t like? Isn’t it a cross? Am I not expected to take up the daily crosses? Or is it better to do something I like?
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God gives us a liking for what He wants us to do. He does not want us all to pick things we don’t like and do them–can you imagine going to a doctor who chose that profession because he disliked the idea the most? Or hiring an engineer who chose it because he hated math?

We accept the crosses which come to us through the course of fulfilling our daily (or longer) duties, but we are really not supposed to overburden ourselves. We are supposed to give our best to the world, and the way to do that is to use the gifts God gave us.

So we consider ourselves. One student might say he likes to do a lot of research and is kind of introverted and is very interested in chemistry, so he studies that. Another might say he loves working with children and likes literature so he studies education.

See what I mean?

Can you go and see a guidance counselor? They often help students figure out what course of studies would be good for them. They have tests for that too. Just be sure whatever they suggest feels right for and to you!

Alternatively, you may want to do something completely different that doesn’t require college, or at least not as much. If that is what you want, go for it–study at a trade school (check it out well as some are scams), or talk to people in a union or in the business.

Whatever you end up doing, just please remember that God did not give us the Faith to make us miserable but to set us free from sin.
 
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Gabriel2 said:
Due to COVID-19 pandemic, I am really badly, tired, certainly I am depressed. Studying these subjects online is really boring and is increasing my anxiety (though the course is in person, the subjects are being offered online to avoid the disease spreading). If I flunk, this will not be registered in the curriculum. Should I stop studying during this time?

Also, what would you say about studying/working in something I don’t like? Isn’t it a cross? Am I not expected to take up the daily crosses? Or is it better to do something I like?
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It’s better to pick a career you like, hands down. One of the ways God shows us his will is by placing a desire for things in our heart. If you have no desire to be a priest, God is probably not calling you to the priesthood. It’s not true that we should choose a career or a vocation we don’t like just because it’s a higher good. How would the world operate if every man was a priest? The world needs fathers, it needs engineers, plumbers, etc.

If your major doesn’t fit your interests, change it. If it does, but requires you to struggle through calculus in order to end up with a career you will enjoy, then try your best to stick with it. If you are not learning well online, it might be wise to take a break for a semester or a year.

For now, if this semester is already paid, I would try to finish, since you’ll be losing a lot of money otherwise. My son is in the same boat as you. Was doing well until pandemic hit.
 
If you don’t like college then leave. A college education is not the be all and end all of a successful life.
 
Gabriel2 said:
But, since my convertion, every day I think about becoming a priest or a religious, which is not my desire, but I want to follow the Lord’s calling because it is objectively good to do so. I am not sure if it is my vocation either.
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If you are not sure about the religious vocation, then continue your college education. Once you finish, you can always pursue a religious vocation but if not, you will have a basis to work and be productive as a lay person.
 
Please do not finish a college degree ONLY in order to pay off debt before entering a Religious Order

There are groups like Laboure that help men and women pay off college debt so they can enter a vocation


God Bless
 
Depending on where you go to college (which country and institution) you might want to consider a small break.

Sometimes it’s better to take a break, figure out what you really want to do, and then go back to school vs sticking with it and getting horrible grades.
 
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That’s why I said “ONLY” in capital letters 🙂

God Bless & Godspeed
 
I would suggest taking a break from school for a semester or two to figure out what you really want to do. There is no point saddling yourself with so much debt to do something that is ultimately not for you. I know it may be hard considering the pressure placed on young people by society and family to go to college, but sometimes you have to go against the grain to do what is best for yourself.
 
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I agree with Lou that health goes first.
You may be lacking in a vitamin or something physical that has you in low spirits. Or maybe not, but I would check that out first of all with your doctor and listen to what he has to say.
These are atypical times, it is taking extra effort sometimes for what usually doesn’t …at least for a lot of people, young and old.
Anyway, cheer up! You will find a solution sooner or later.And all the best.!
 
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Gabriel2 said:
Also, what would you say about studying/working in something I don’t like? Isn’t it a cross? Am I not expected to take up the daily crosses? Or is it better to do something I like?
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I’m not sure how subjects like calculus and linear algebra could ever not have too much math since that’s obviously all they’re about but if you don’t enjoy it then I’d really have to ask why you’re studying them. Granted, they may be essential courses for your chosen career field but if so you’re probably likely to encounter them a lot in that case and, if you don’t enjoy those subjects then you’re pretty much going to be miserable at work. This is not a good thing! Approaching it stoically and seeing it as a “cross” you’re required to bear probably isn’t going to help much. In fairness, there are times when God calls us to do something or be somewhere we’d rather not but He does this as a means to greater things not to make our lives miserable. All work, no matter what you do, can be a means of serving and glorifying God - priesthood and religious life are ways of doing this but definitely not the only ways. It’s common for new converts to be drawn to priesthood or religious life simply because it’s an outproduct of the zeal which drew you to the Church in the first place - not for nothing does the Church require a “cooling off” period for new converts - but God never forces His will upon us, instead He gives us the grace to choose our vocation in life. So the question for you then becomes, “what do you want to do?”
 
Are you studying on one of those courses where you are required to be a degree-level mathematician even if your main interest is history of art or playing the saxophone? Is there an alternative? Even if it’s a requirement to study some kind of science, could you not have picked something less mathematical, such as botany or geology? Unless you are studying something like maths, physics, or engineering, it seems a bit unreasonable to expect you to study calculus and linear algebra as compulsory parts of your course.
 
Gabriel2 said:
But, since my convertion, every day I think about becoming a priest or a religious, which is not my desire, but I want to follow the Lord’s calling because it is objectively good to do so. I am not sure if it is my vocation either.
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If it’s not your desire, then you shouldn’t do it. Not everyone is called to the priesthood. People of all vocations can “follow the Lord’s calling” through their work, to use your words.
Gabriel2 said:
Due to COVID-19 pandemic, I am really badly, tired, certainly I am depressed. Studying these subjects online is really boring and is increasing my anxiety
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As a student myself, I can attest to the horrors of online learning. Hang in there. Try to make the best of a bad situation and if you can e-mail your professors for help with whatever you’re struggling with you’ll find that they might be able to help you.
Gabriel2 said:
Isn’t it a cross?
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If it’s a course you don’t like in a major you feel passionate about, then yeah, it’s a cross. If you deliberately chose a major you don’t like because you want to punish yourself, then that’s just misguided. Don’t deliberately major in something you don’t like. This is not what a cross is. A cross is shouldering something unfair or difficult life has thrown your way, not purposely making yourself miserable by majoring in something you hate.

Hope this helps.
 
Something no one else seems to have suggested is asking the student counseling service about the availability of something called an “interest inventory”. You answer a bunch of questions about things you like or dislike, such as “Which kind of music do you prefer to listen to? A. Opera B. Country Western”

The computer then analyzes your answers, and produces a chart. This chart shows how closely your interests match those of people in different professions. If your interests show a close similarity to those of most plumbers, for example, it’s possible that you would enjoy being a plumber more than an engineer. This might help focus your educational efforts.

If you continue to “feel a call to the priesthood” while feeling no real desire to be one, then put the priesthood on the back burner. The “call” may in fact be demonic. A man who becomes a priest without any real desire to be a priest is much easier to tempt.
 
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Is that often a problem? I always got the impression the opposite was more commonly a problem. ie: people in the hard sciences being forced to waste their time on “core requirements” like history or writing.
 
Odilon said:
If you don’t like college then leave. A college education is not the be all and end all of a successful life.
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That’s true, but before he pulls the trigger and drops out he should make sure it’s really not for him and he’s not just dealing with depression.
 
You could take some time to learn skills, help others …check out the Job Corps - they have many great programs … https://www.jobcorps.gov/

As a new person in the faith and due to your young age and the current environment …I would not hurry or make hasty decisions.

Over the last 8 years I have worked with many Job Corps youth in fire camp supporting wildfires, I am currently doing so. But I also know Job Corps people who have learned trades from welding to car repairs, medical, energy audits, fire fighting, carpentry etc…

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
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