I don't understand..what am i suppose to do?

[george92]

i mainly just feel i need my life to speed up. its like i pray and pray to get the things i want but nothing happens. its like He doesn’t know my pain ( i know it sounds silly but i know He does).
the main thing is i just want to be where i want to be right now and not have to go through all the bullsh*t to get there ( like college, grad school).

 

[Cat]

One practical piece of advice is “sublimate.”

Here’s the fancy “dictionary definitinion:”

Sublimation is a mature type of defense mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are consciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behaviour, possibly converting the initial impulse in the long term.

Here’s the Cat interpretation: Take up running.

Seriously, the idea of “sublimation” has been around the “male world” for many decades, and over the years, men have deliberately sublimated their desire for sex by taking up difficult sports or other physical tasks, or taking up some kind of self-sacrificing project (e.g., military), or becoming involved in the arts, etc.

Physical activities are especially good because they take the “physical desires” and use up the energy that goes into those desires. (I’m expressing this badly, I know.)

Good luck to you!

 

[Luvz2travel]

If you dwell on anything too much it’s bound to take you down. Instead of over thinking it relax and find other ways to occupy your mind. Make yourself too busy to worry over it. If you in college this should be easy to do because of all the opportunities and group and activities available. Maybe find a christian group in your area to start off. Try meetup.com they might have some groups that would interest you. Good luck.

 

[Sarabanda]

I think there are a number of ways of channeling that energy.

Number one, you must ask why you are waiting. I honestly belief that if Catholic men and women truly do believe in the faith, then they should do their best to get in position of their lives of being able to marry and build a family. That means, channeling that energy towards your school and the getting a job that pays, and if you have extra energy, maybe even trying to finish early.

At the same time, you can start building friendships with girls of the same faith, see if there are any you’d like to court, and once you’ve attained your degree, networked, and found a bit of stability, start with the courtship. Or you could do that simultaneously if you think you can.

This is also a good time to build your faith and make sure that whoever you decide to court has the same beliefs as you do (seems that “Cafeteria Catholics” are quite prevalent these days). I think one of the demises of marriage is finding out that one partner is not as devout or is very fickle with regards to their faith.

In summary, here’s how I’d channel your energy if I were you:

1. Studies and Career
2. Befriending fellow Catholics, girls and guys alike (good social circles in college are dire) - consider joining Theology of the Body, and you’ll find many who have the same questions
3. Understanding your faith and what you belief to be true (imagine your life the way you want it, then go for it)
4. Understanding how to court a girl, understanding the value of women (which porn does not demonstrate by any means)
5. Exercise and eat well

Or you could follow your current route, which to me could possibly look like this:

You continue to look at porn, get distracted, have difficulty concentrating in school, do poorly, get a mediocre job, have difficulties maintaining a healthy relationship, have major sexual expectations once married (rather than appreciating the enjoyment of learning from each other), be full of doubt, confusion, and conflict, and even re-wire your brain to form an addiction.

Of course, that is the extreme of it, and I don’t know your specific current situation, but I know plenty of amazing Catholic guys who have set their priorities straight and are very happily married, not to mention successful.

• Sarabanda

 

[EasterJoy]

guys i feel terrible about complaining. sorry if this was ruining your day. thanks for all the advice and God bless you all! i’m just so stinking selfish at times.

If it were easy, that business with the Cross wouldn’t have been necessary. It is hard, but getting out of the pit is all covered in the plan. Persevere, and find some good company when you get discouraged. We all go through it. If we hang in with God, we can be confident that God will hang in with us.