I don't want to get married

[Ma.Eugenia]

Hi Stylus!

I have a funny story to share.

A few years ago, I went to a church I’ve never visited before. Here in the Philippines, there is a saying that if we visit a new church, we can pray and our wishes would be granted.

So, I prayed the following:

1. I hope that a friend that I had a misunderstanding with would become friends again.
2. That I would forget this guy that I really, really liked (who seemed to like me back) because I didn’t want to hurt his girlfriend of many years. (This was hard to pray for, but I did. I cried a lot after praying that!)
3. (I forgot the 3rd one I prayed for …)

and lastly…

1. I prayed that I would find the right guy… Catholic, who is a good man who would really love me for who I am.

That was May. A few months later, near my birthday, one by one all my wishes came true…EXCEPT…the fourth one.

I complained to my friend----how come everything came true, EXCEPT the part where I’m supposed to meet a good Catholic guy?!

My friend replied, "How many wishes did you make?’

I said, “FOUR!”

My friend laughingly replied, "That’s it! Don’t you know you only have THREE WISHES?! You went over! "

Funny, but this really happened.

Anyway, Stylus, I believe God has a plan for all of us. Some of us are meant to be married,some are meant to be single, some are meant to join religious orders.

Each one of these vocations are good.

I realize that we need to pray for the right vocation and believe that what God chooses for us is always for the best, where we have the potential to do the most good.

So keep on praying and have faith in God’s love for you.

God bless!

 

[SemperJase]

You don’t have to. Just to warn you, though, that God has a wonderful sense of humor. I was never going to get married or have children EVER. Did not want to be tied down to one guy, and I was pretty uncomfortable around children. Well, guess what? I found the “right” guy, got married, and ended up having 4 kids. I think that God was laughing out loud every time I proclaimed that “I was NEVER going to get married, and I was NEVER going to have kids.” He showed me!

When we met, my wife told me she would never get married. Within a few months I knew she was the one for me and that I would just have to wait it out. We were married 9 years ago.

She also said she never ever wanted kids. She hated hearing a child cry at the store. She couldn’t stand being around them. Then about four years ago, she became a child care provider. Now that is funny. And she is great at it. She says it is the most fulfilling job she has ever had.

We are expecting our first child this week. Woohoo!

 

[LSK]

I don’t want to get married. I’ve met too many men who are mean, dishonest and impatient. Our society today has caused so much stress on people. Even if I meet a nice guy now by the time we’re married 3, 4, 5 years the stress of the world will will start to get to him and he’ll turn into the kind of guy I was trying not to marry. I’ve seen it happen too many times. Years change people. Guys are all nice and attentive to the ladies at first because they’re so crazy about them but after you’re married and that dies down you’re stuck basically and he’s not so ‘Mr. Wonderful’ anymore.

I’m better off with a nice big loyal dog.

If you make the decision to stay single because you believe that is the vocation to which you have been called by God then you will have a lot of hard work ahead of you, just as you would if you were called to the vocation of marriage. Neither state of life is free from problems or fear. I am a widow and I believe that God has lead me to live the rest of my life as a widow. There are times when even my fabulous companions - Duffy the Wonder Dog and Pepper Gomezkitty - are not enough and I am lonely. There are times when I think (in my own head) that I am just not valued enough by the others in the Church (hey! don’t you know St. Lawrence says I am one of the treasures of the Church!) and there are times when I think I am not following God’s will but simply too lazy to be in a relationship.

HOWEVER -
there are benefits to my lifestyle in terms of being able to be available for service and prayer that I might not be able to do because of a committment to a husband. I can be a fabulous Aunt to three wonderful children I am helping to raise (I am currently doing 6th grade math with my 11 year old…Lord, Grant me the Serenity…) and I can go places when needed without having to worry about neglecting a husband.

SO…

don’t make this decision in a vacum. pray. take time to go before the Blessed Sacrament. Be prepared for a life of sacrifice and service no matter what your vocation is and be not afraid…

 

[Black_Jaque]

I don’t want to get married. I’ve met too many men who are mean, dishonest and impatient. Our society today has caused so much stress on people. Even if I meet a nice guy now by the time we’re married 3, 4, 5 years the stress of the world will will start to get to him and he’ll turn into the kind of guy I was trying not to marry. I’ve seen it happen too many times. Years change people. Guys are all nice and attentive to the ladies at first because they’re so crazy about them but after you’re married and that dies down you’re stuck basically and he’s not so ‘Mr. Wonderful’ anymore.

I’m better off with a nice big loyal dog.

At mass yesterday I was kind of wondering about that story in Genesis of The Fall. I wondered what would have happened if Adam wasn’t such a nice guy and let Eve do whatever she pleased. I mean, how would the world turned out if Adam said, “EVE! GET THE HECK AWAY FROM THAT TREE!”

Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Indulge-your-feminine-fancy, bah!

It all washes in the end. You’ll turn out to be the kind of woman he was trying not to marry too.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

At mass yesterday I was kind of wondering about that story in Genesis of The Fall. I wondered what would have happened if Adam wasn’t such a nice guy and let Eve do whatever she pleased. I mean, how would the world turned out if Adam said, “EVE! GET THE HECK AWAY FROM THAT TREE!”

Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Indulge-your-feminine-fancy, bah!

It all washes in the end. You’ll turn out to be the kind of woman he was trying not to marry too.

If he had said that, how could he have passed the buck for choosing to eat?

Eve didn’t hide the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil in a pie and then pass it off as pumpkin. Adam was turned out of Eden for choosing to disobey God, for listening to Eve and his own desires over listening to God, not for being a “nice guy.”

Nice guys are nice. They aren’t pushovers. Don’t fill this nice woman’s head with such nonsense.

 

[Karianne]

I’m better off with a nice big loyal dog.

You’ve chosen an alternative lifestyle and I can attest that you will be happy.
I’ve remained single and it works for me.
There was a study that found that single women and married men were the happiest, so it’s no surprise that more and more women are choosing this lifestyle.
I admire the patience and hard work that married women invest in their marriages, however I don’t understand it.
BTW, you don’t have to be childless, you can take in foster kids, as I have and still have a family. it’s best to take in a child of seven or older-they’re a lot of fun and very sweet.

 

[Norseman82]

There was a study that found that single women and married men were the happiest, so it’s no surprise that more and more women are choosing this lifestyle.

But the more women that choose to be single, the less women there are for men to get married to…

 

[BLB_Oregon]

But the more women that choose to be single, the less women there are for men to get married to…

She’s not choosing to forego marriage because she has something against marriage or wants to spend* her* time in *her *way or because family life is just too hard. She’s just afraid of marrying badly. She wonders how, when some men quite frankly do the bait-and-switch, she’ll be able to find a good one.

She’d rather settle for life with a dog and without kids than marry a schmuck. I say, “Right on.” When and if she has kids, they will thank her for choosing to marry someone worth making into a husband and father. If she doesn’t marry, she at least won’t have Mr. What-Was-I-Thinking? to deal with.

As for the study that shows that single women and married men are the happiest, I think that just shows how important it is to have really good friend, in the way that women generally mean that.

 

[Sandi]

There’s no law that you have to and since you sound very contented with your current state, I don’t see that there’s any problem.