I don't want to make Confirmation

  • Thread starter Thread starter MBeatty1999
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

MBeatty1999

Guest
Hello. I don’t know if this is the right site to discuss this or not. I am almost 16. I was raised Catholic and am a sophomore at a Catholic High School. Before that, I was in public school. I am supposed to be confirmed in October. I don’t want to go through with it. I just don’t believe in Catholicism. I wouldn’t say I’m an atheist. I do believe in God. I just don’t believe in organized religion. My mother mentioned my confirmation to me a few days ago. How do I tell her I don’t want to go through with it? I know that this is going to cause a big argument. I have been dragged to church every Sunday since I was 4, which I hate. My parents know I hate it, but don’t care.
 
I don’t know how it is in all dioceses, but in many dioceses, the person seeking to be confirmed must write a letter to the bishop asking for Confirmation. If that is the case in your diocese, you should be honest with the bishop.
 
Welcome to CAF!
MBeatty1999 said:
I just don’t believe in Catholicism. I wouldn’t say I’m an atheist. I do believe in God. I just don’t believe in organized religion.
Click to expand...
OK, fair enough.

What is it that you “don’t believe in”? Jesus? The Bible? The Church? People getting together to worship God together?

Just curious…
I have been dragged to church every Sunday since I was 4, which I hate. My parents know I hate it, but don’t care.
Click to expand...
LOL! Well, I’m guessing there are lots of things that parents think are valuable that their children hate. Do they have to stop doing things you dislike, just because you hate them? 🤷
 
I just don’t believe in organized religion. I also don’t want to be bothered going to all the confirmation classes and the like. I hated going to CCD class before high school when I was in public school. You don’t have to go to CCD if you are in Catholic school.
 
bisco said:
maybe a good reason to move confirmation to 18? 21?
Click to expand...
No, a good reason to move Confirmation to infancy at the time of Baptism, or at least to the age of reason just before First Communion.
 
Am I wrong? I feel that is dishonest to go through with it if I truly don’t believe in it. I think that if I said this to a priest, the priest would probably say, “If that’s the way you feel, you shouldn’t go through with it.”
 
I do believe it is your choice to be confirmed or not. Even if you do not get Confirmed you still would need to go to church and continue with CCD classes. It is a promise your parents made at your Baptism. They are required to continue to teach you the faith. In our house, once you are Confirmed, you only have to attend Mass weekly and youth group. The CCD part is over.
 
MBeatty1999 said:
Am I wrong? I feel that is dishonest to go through with it if I truly don’t believe in it. I think that if I said this to a priest, the priest would probably say, “If that’s the way you feel, you shouldn’t go through with it.”
Click to expand...
I think you should talk to your priest. In Catholicism, we should not violate our conscience.
When talking to him, don’t have an antagonistic or hostile attitude (not saying that you do. Just a general statement of advice).

Be honest. Have an adult conversation with him.

Good luck and God’s blessings.
 
Blessedwithfive said:
I do believe it is your choice to be confirmed or not. Even if you do not get Confirmed you still would need to go to church and continue with CCD classes. It is a promise your parents made at your Baptism. They are required to continue to teach you the faith. In our house, once you are Confirmed, you only have to attend Mass weekly and youth group. The CCD part is over.
Click to expand...
I don’t want this either. I don’t want to go to church anymore. I just don’t believe in it.
 
MBeatty1999 said:
I don’t want this either. I don’t want to go to church anymore. I just don’t believe in it.
Click to expand...
Good thing you have parents to help you when you make poor decisions. You most likely cried when you got your immunizations but your parents still had you get them for your own good. Many times I don’t want to pay the bills but I still do because it is the right thing to do. Going to Mass each week isn’t optional. Receiving Communion is. Going to Religious Education classes aren’t optional either, receiving Confirmation is.
 
MBeatty1999 said:
Hello. I don’t know if this is the right site to discuss this or not. I am almost 16. I was raised Catholic and am a sophomore at a Catholic High School. Before that, I was in public school. I am supposed to be confirmed in October. I don’t want to go through with it. I just don’t believe in Catholicism. I wouldn’t say I’m an atheist. I do believe in God. I just don’t believe in organized religion. My mother mentioned my confirmation to me a few days ago. How do I tell her I don’t want to go through with it? I know that this is going to cause a big argument. I have been dragged to church every Sunday since I was 4, which I hate. My parents know I hate it, but don’t care.
Click to expand...
Welcome to CAF!

You have come to a great place to get answers from very knowledgeable, kind and non-judgmental people (for the most part). No pressure, but are there any questions or objections you would like to discuss with us here regarding organized religion or anything else bothering you?
 
Blessedwithfive said:
Good thing you have parents to help you when you make poor decisions. You most likely cried when you got your immunizations but your parents still had you get them for your own good. Many times I don’t want to pay the bills but I still do because it is the right thing to do. Going to Mass each week isn’t optional. Receiving Communion is. Going to Religious Education classes aren’t optional either, receiving Confirmation is.
Click to expand...
You are comparing apples to oranges. Immunizations and going to church are 2 different things. Bottom line, I don’t believe in religion. I am soon going to tell my parents that I flat out refuse to go to church any more.
 
MBeatty1999 said:
You are comparing apples to oranges. Immunizations and going to church are 2 different things. Bottom line, I don’t believe in religion. I am soon going to tell my parents that I flat out refuse to go to church any more.
Click to expand...
Here’s the thing, though. You say you believe in God. And, you never said that you don’t believe in Jesus or the Bible.

Jesus created the Church. His words are in the Bible, and His words tell us that we need to receive Communion or else “we have no life in us.”

Now, if you said, “yeah, I believe in God, but not in Jesus,” then I’d understand. But, that’s not what you’re saying. So, “I don’t believe in religion” doesn’t seem to mean anything… unless there’s something that you mean by it, that you haven’t told us about.

Know what I mean?
 
It’s good that you don’t want to be dishonest. Moreover, I would be concerned that if you were to get confirmed but didn’t want to, that that might be an impediment to your path on the sacraments. For example, during the consecration of the Eucharist, the priest must be willing to consecrate it as the words aren’t enough (or something like that). If you get “confirmed” now and later on decide you want to be Catholic, would you have been “sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit”? Who knows. But it’s something to be careful about.

In any case, I see you have a problem with organized religion. Keep in mind that there is only one truth, it doesn’t make sense for everyone to interpret the Bible or scripture however they want. How then do they come to know the truth? So it doesn’t make sense to practice by yourself as a Christian because Christianity is about community - faith is never done alone. Anyway, in any case, society always tends to organize whenever there is a purpose. I suggest telling your concerns to a priest.

God bless!
 
MBeatty1999 said:
You are comparing apples to oranges. Immunizations and going to church are 2 different things. Bottom line, I don’t believe in religion. I am soon going to tell my parents that I flat out refuse to go to church any more.
Click to expand...
You still live in their home, however. They do have the right to set the rules of the house.
 
My mom and I were eating dinner tonight. I told her I didn’t want to make confirmation. Se said, “You have to be confirmed.” I said, “No I don’t.” She said, “We’ll discuss this later.” My dad is away on business. We had a fight. When my dad gets back, I plan on telling my parents that I will not be confirmed. We can do it the easy way or the hard way. They can just leave me alone, or they can try to force me to go to confirmation classes. In that case, I will misbehave and cause problems in confirmation class to deliberately get thrown out and denied confirmation. Then my parents will be humiliated when they go to church.
 
I understand. When I was your age, I hated Church and religion. I went to catholic school and, at that time, confirmation was in 8th grade. I told my parents that I didn’t want to be confirmed and they said “too bad.” They also forced me to attend mass every weekend.

Did I hate this? Absolutely. But now that I have my own children, I would do the same thing. Why? For several reasons. One, I was given information (though forced) to make a decision as an adult. I married a man who was exposed to no religion in his life, and that really stunk. Because of my childhood knowledge, I was able to decide my religion as an adult. So I’m thankful that I had the knowledge to make this choice.

Second, you receive the Holy Spirit in confirmation. You also receive grace at each mass and through the sacraments. I truly believe that it was this grace and divine help that I made it through the teenage years alive.

Am I now glad that my parents forced me to attend mass? Absolutely. And I’ve thanked them for it.

Can your parents force to to receive a sacrament? Probably not. But why not seek the council of a good priest? The bottom line is that you are underage and living in your parent’s house. So if they say you need to do something (like attend school, do chores, attend mass), you kinda got to do it. Once you are an adult and living on your own, you can do as you wish. Who knows- you may end up thanking your parents in the future.

Good luck and God bless!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top