G
GaudeamusHodie
Guest
I’m going to catholic university and feel guilty about it.
I have made all of my schooling in public school and I’m very happy about it. I have had my baccalauréat (high school graduation), with « Very Good » mention and 16/20 for my average mark.
but I want to be a teacher, and you have to go to college to do it, and here public universities are not good and 40% of the students in 1rst year fail it.
My mom (who is not catholic) feared for me, and say « I’m ok with you going to the university, but I want a good one, it’ll be a catholic one. »
On all my country, there is 6 Catholic university approved by the state. They have very good reputations. There are only 20 to 40 students per class. The program is the same as in the public. The problem is that you have to paid : € 4,000 the year ($ 5,327), while in the public university is € 150 ($ 199). We can pay without credit.
I feel shamefull. It’s because I’m not enough hardworking, that I have to go to a catholic university, and that my parents have to pay 4000€ by year. All of my brother and sister have made their studies in the public and cost 0€ to my parents, they now have good jobs.
I fear the failure. What if I fail this year ? My parents will have pay €4000 for nothing ! I stress a lot about it.
I fear the people here…. In high school, it was already difficult. There were two clans. There were the majority of students, who had fashionable clothes, new iPhone each year, they went on holiday to the USA or Argentina, who complained about paying too much in taxes. When they had problems, parents paid tutors. And then there were people like me, dressed normally, with the same old laptop for 5 years , Whose parents could not pay the taxes … The two clans nearly never mixed. My group of friends is “mixed” because our friendship is very very strong. I’m afraid that at the university, there is the same “barrier” between the “rich” and “poor” … Between those who have traveled around the world and those who know by heart the region (but a very pretty region ! ). Between those who receive help at home and those who struggled. Between those who have a culture, a language, a way of being very different from us. I know that the barrier is not insurmountable, my group of friends is a proof ! But it scares me. I have a huge inferiority complex with richer than me. I am very proud of my parents’ choice (to have a job they like and allows them to devote themselves fully to their children, even if the salary is not good), but I feel “worthless” when I face people richer than me. I feel stupid, and ugly, and uneducated, and feel like I have to prove that I’m not (maybe I’ve never been abroad, but I have read a lot, and I know good manners etc…) Stupid, huh ? But I can not take away the idea of the head. I have never speak about this with other people. My friend will find it silly. My parents trust at 100% my futur university.
This futur school year scares me so much. Until now, my schooling have been easy. Always first student of the class, without so much effort. Now, I will have to work and to faces this stupid inferiority complex. The only good things it’s that it is catholic and I’m very happy, there is a lot of things about faith for the students, including daily mass !
Please feel free to advise me and to pray for me.
Please, advise me on books and prayer usefull for me.
Sorry if I don’t answeer quickly, this day are busy.
Thanks
I have made all of my schooling in public school and I’m very happy about it. I have had my baccalauréat (high school graduation), with « Very Good » mention and 16/20 for my average mark.
but I want to be a teacher, and you have to go to college to do it, and here public universities are not good and 40% of the students in 1rst year fail it.
My mom (who is not catholic) feared for me, and say « I’m ok with you going to the university, but I want a good one, it’ll be a catholic one. »
On all my country, there is 6 Catholic university approved by the state. They have very good reputations. There are only 20 to 40 students per class. The program is the same as in the public. The problem is that you have to paid : € 4,000 the year ($ 5,327), while in the public university is € 150 ($ 199). We can pay without credit.
I feel shamefull. It’s because I’m not enough hardworking, that I have to go to a catholic university, and that my parents have to pay 4000€ by year. All of my brother and sister have made their studies in the public and cost 0€ to my parents, they now have good jobs.
I fear the failure. What if I fail this year ? My parents will have pay €4000 for nothing ! I stress a lot about it.
I fear the people here…. In high school, it was already difficult. There were two clans. There were the majority of students, who had fashionable clothes, new iPhone each year, they went on holiday to the USA or Argentina, who complained about paying too much in taxes. When they had problems, parents paid tutors. And then there were people like me, dressed normally, with the same old laptop for 5 years , Whose parents could not pay the taxes … The two clans nearly never mixed. My group of friends is “mixed” because our friendship is very very strong. I’m afraid that at the university, there is the same “barrier” between the “rich” and “poor” … Between those who have traveled around the world and those who know by heart the region (but a very pretty region ! ). Between those who receive help at home and those who struggled. Between those who have a culture, a language, a way of being very different from us. I know that the barrier is not insurmountable, my group of friends is a proof ! But it scares me. I have a huge inferiority complex with richer than me. I am very proud of my parents’ choice (to have a job they like and allows them to devote themselves fully to their children, even if the salary is not good), but I feel “worthless” when I face people richer than me. I feel stupid, and ugly, and uneducated, and feel like I have to prove that I’m not (maybe I’ve never been abroad, but I have read a lot, and I know good manners etc…) Stupid, huh ? But I can not take away the idea of the head. I have never speak about this with other people. My friend will find it silly. My parents trust at 100% my futur university.
This futur school year scares me so much. Until now, my schooling have been easy. Always first student of the class, without so much effort. Now, I will have to work and to faces this stupid inferiority complex. The only good things it’s that it is catholic and I’m very happy, there is a lot of things about faith for the students, including daily mass !
Please feel free to advise me and to pray for me.
Please, advise me on books and prayer usefull for me.
Sorry if I don’t answeer quickly, this day are busy.
Thanks