I fear for next schooling year because of inferiority complex

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GaudeamusHodie

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I’m going to catholic university and feel guilty about it.

I have made all of my schooling in public school and I’m very happy about it. I have had my baccalauréat (high school graduation), with « Very Good » mention and 16/20 for my average mark.

but I want to be a teacher, and you have to go to college to do it, and here public universities are not good and 40% of the students in 1rst year fail it.

My mom (who is not catholic) feared for me, and say « I’m ok with you going to the university, but I want a good one, it’ll be a catholic one. »

On all my country, there is 6 Catholic university approved by the state. They have very good reputations. There are only 20 to 40 students per class. The program is the same as in the public. The problem is that you have to paid : € 4,000 the year ($ 5,327), while in the public university is € 150 ($ 199). We can pay without credit.
I feel shamefull. It’s because I’m not enough hardworking, that I have to go to a catholic university, and that my parents have to pay 4000€ by year. All of my brother and sister have made their studies in the public and cost 0€ to my parents, they now have good jobs.

I fear the failure. What if I fail this year ? My parents will have pay €4000 for nothing ! I stress a lot about it.

I fear the people here…. In high school, it was already difficult. There were two clans. There were the majority of students, who had fashionable clothes, new iPhone each year, they went on holiday to the USA or Argentina, who complained about paying too much in taxes. When they had problems, parents paid tutors. And then there were people like me, dressed normally, with the same old laptop for 5 years , Whose parents could not pay the taxes … The two clans nearly never mixed. My group of friends is “mixed” because our friendship is very very strong. I’m afraid that at the university, there is the same “barrier” between the “rich” and “poor” … Between those who have traveled around the world and those who know by heart the region (but a very pretty region ! ). Between those who receive help at home and those who struggled. Between those who have a culture, a language, a way of being very different from us. I know that the barrier is not insurmountable, my group of friends is a proof ! But it scares me. I have a huge inferiority complex with richer than me. I am very proud of my parents’ choice (to have a job they like and allows them to devote themselves fully to their children, even if the salary is not good), but I feel “worthless” when I face people richer than me. I feel stupid, and ugly, and uneducated, and feel like I have to prove that I’m not (maybe I’ve never been abroad, but I have read a lot, and I know good manners etc…) Stupid, huh ? But I can not take away the idea of the head. I have never speak about this with other people. My friend will find it silly. My parents trust at 100% my futur university.

This futur school year scares me so much. Until now, my schooling have been easy. Always first student of the class, without so much effort. Now, I will have to work and to faces this stupid inferiority complex. The only good things it’s that it is catholic and I’m very happy, there is a lot of things about faith for the students, including daily mass !

Please feel free to advise me and to pray for me.

Please, advise me on books and prayer usefull for me.

Sorry if I don’t answeer quickly, this day are busy.

Thanks
 
You’re a child of God. You are as good as anybody.

Everybody is scared about going to a university. Everybody meets new and different people, and mostly they aren’t like the people we’re used to. That’s okay.

Just take it one day at a time. Work hard. Don’t forget to eat good food, and sleep normal hours. Don’t worry about how anybody else doesn’t study; you study the way that works for you.

Study a little every day, just like people exercise every day. If you have a paper to write, write a little every day. Then you won’t have to hurry at the end.

If you join a club that is friendly, you will have plenty of friends.

Don’t forget to go to church. Pray often, even if it’s just a second here and there. God is on your side. Let Him help you.
 
Try public education for a year or two with the goal of transferring to a Catholic University later. You will be too busy with your studies to worry about the “clans” esp. if you want to transfer later. The reason that most students fail the first year is because they are generally away from home and get to party when they should be hard into the books. It might be good to have a part time job as well to see how others cope with being “poor.” Nothing worth having is free other than what God gives us…nor should it be…I am praying for you
 
Is there a counseling office you can go to?

If your parents are spending money on your education, it’s because they want to. If and when you have children, you can repay your parents by providing for your children’s education. That’s how it works–we pay it forward.

Best wishes!
 
I’ll pray for you! But I don’t know what else to say, because I’m a homeschooled kid and have not often encountered the “clans” (only sometimes - my family is on the poor, unfashionable “side” too, and I usually get scared when I meet someone my age who has styled hair or her own cellphone).
 
Hey OP. Given what you have said, I think you would greatly benefit from watching this sermon about the meaning of professional failure (not moral or spiritual failure) in the life of a Christian. It is about 40 minutes.

youtube.com/watch?v=rjIFXNL9bHc

The preacher is Dr. William Lane Craig, one of the top Christian scholars living today. And he failed rather hard during his academic career…

Bon courage mon frère catho!

Edit: ou soeur catho si t’es une femme!
 
my friends (who are going in something very difficult, the CPGE « Classe Prépa ») are so zen, I’m the only one to stress.

I will go to church, I’m an altar server and dont have choice xD

My parents didn’t want me to go to the public university, periods. They are very cool parents BUT when they said « You will do this », you just do it without speaking about it. No discussion.
I think that the reason that most students fail the first year here is : some are here because it’s free but in fact they don’t like it, there is more than 400 students by class, and you are ‘invisible’ in the university.
I’m working this summer, from 5 pm to 7 pm, I want to keep the job, but I don’t know if the boss will be okay. Our law forces company to have 6% of disable employee, so I’m usefull to him, because I’m disable so he doesn’t have to pay penalty. (and hope that I can work in more « normal » schedule…

I don’t know where there is free counseling and my parents are strongly against.

I’m trying to watch the sermon… little part by little part because my english is not very good but youtube subtitle are good.
Merci frère catho ! (ici une sœur 😉 )

Thank you all for your answer and your prayer
 
Fear Not.
University is a new place for you and for all the other new students.
Do not worry about failure, if you study every day diligently then you will have done the best you could do, the rest is in the hands of God. Even if after putting in your best effort if you do fail, you can hold your head up and say you did your best.
St Ignatius says ’ pray as if everything depends on God, work as if everything depends on you’
Thank you parents for the decision they have made for you they are in the place of God and know what is best for you.
dont worry too much take each day as it comes, and say your rosary daily.
Your bother in Chirst
Pax
 
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