You are being taught to combine faith with works. This is a false gospel - these feelings of condemnation are something you really need to examine, dont shut them off with rituals.
Ephesians 2:8-9 “8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.” The Bible literally says you are not saved by works. Word for word. Deny this, and you must reject scripture. You are going to have to choose between the “holy church” and scripture itself.
Works can provide evidence for the existence of faith as shown in James, but they cannot save, and Jesus spent quite a lot of time condemning the Pharisees for teaching otherwise. Have you ever lied? Ever cheated? Ever cursed? Even once? This is enough for eternal damnation, period. No amount of “good” rituals can erase this.
The Pharisees and the Saduccees were the religious, pios, holy leaders of the day. Watch out for them. Jesus warns
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.” Matthew 23:13
Jesus Christ - Not Mary - is perfect and divine, the “Son of Man” prophesied, God in flesh, who came and lived a perfect life - and then died on the cross, for our sins. On the third day, He rose again, the “firstborn from the dead.” The question we must ask ourselves is, is He, the very Son of God, enough?
If you determine that His work is not sufficient, you can keep praying the rosary and going through rituals, but you will be condemned.
If He is enough for your forgiveness, trust Him alone, and you will be forgiven because of His perfect work, not yours. Be like the tax collector, not the Pharisee, in Luke 18
"9 To some who trusted in their own righteousness and viewed others with contempt, He also told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like the other men—swindlers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and pay tithes of all that I receive.’
13 But the tax collector stood at a distance, unwilling even to lift up his eyes to heaven. Instead, he beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man, rather than the Pharisee, went home justified. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Life is never that easy, and there have been many other challenges over the years. But at least I knew that I wanted to live chastely in a world full of temptations. Purity went from an abstract concept to a part of how I lived my Faith and gave me a foundation for dealing with future tests. Sometimes I failed again in different ways. Sometimes I went down in flames, messed up so badly it took years or even decades to get past the damage. But I had the solid foundation to come back to, to build on with each new bit of wisdom gained by learning from my mistakes and studying Scripture and returning to the Sacrament of Reconciliation when needed.
