I feel like either a saint or a desire driven human

[BlushingOrange]

It’s with a heavy heart I write about my struggles with my religious life. In the past month or so I was as close as I’ve ever been to the Lord. The only way I can describe it is as though I was living life as a saint. This is in comparison to how I was living for somewhere around the past 3 years. I felt like a human… Just a human. It was rare I felt any divine or sacred presence within me or around me. But now my sweet refuge of holy mass is gone. I give credit to mass for being my weekly supply back then. (And online mass hasn’t been a good enough replacement for my situation.) As a result, I feel quite like the old me. I feel just human again. It’s a disgusting feeling to have. I don’t feel radiant, I don’t feel Christ shining through me, I feel dead and dry. I’m only 17, so any sort of movement towards God in my religious life feels exciting and new. I seem to have gone backwards from where I was just a few weeks ago (thanks to this virus, as if I could go without mentioning it.) I’m sure people here have experience with this type of thing. If anyone just wants to leave me a reply on how I can bounce back or any other sort of advice, it’d be more than welcome.

 

[sudy]

I feel just human again. It’s a disgusting feeling to have.

Being human is to be created in the image of God. We are called to be good stewards and to do His will. It’s really not about ‘feeling’ holy, but rather being holy. Our feelings are changeable, so don’t let that be your focus. Peoples throughout history have had to fight the good fight without Mass at times. It’s great that you value Mass… especially so as it’s the source and summit of our Christian life, but we can gain a spiritual communion with the online Mass. We gain graces through prayer and works of charity… now is the time to act. Help others and pray for others. This current situation is not permanent, so try not to worry.

 

[po18guy]

As disgusting as it may feel, without your humanity, there would be no promise.

The times you are most saintly are those times when you feel least likely to be a saint.

I sincerely doubt that a single saint thought of themselves as a saint.

 

[JerryZ]

Indeed we have been given a very though test. In one hand we are all at risk of contracting a potentially deadly sickness and at the same time we have been cutoff from the pastoral care from our priests and deacons.
Much prayer is needed. I suggest you avail this time to read some of the Church fathers. listen to the many programs available online from EWTN both live and recorded.
In short immerse yourself in all that can bring your mind closer to GOD and above all do not be afraid. GOD is in control. Every thing that happens does for a purpose. We cannot see why now, but believe me it shall be disclosed an then we will be marveled and say “Ahaa!!” that’s why this happened.
peace!

 

[SPBlitz]

It’s with a heavy heart I write about my struggles with my religious life. I

“He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best.”
CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

What you are feeling is normal, and is an important step in your faith life. During your initial conversion God allowed you to feel close to Him, but after a while, He lets that feeling fade. He doesn’t actually leave you, but it feels as if he does, and what at first seemed easy now is difficult, since you don’t have your emotions spurring you forward, only your will. The important thing at this point is perseverance. Keep praying. Keep following Gods will, and have faith that he will aid you, even in this time of dryness.

 

[Dan_Defender]

As a result, I feel quite like the old me. I feel just human again.

So what? Like St Paul, we must persevere to the end. Feelings come and go, they can deceive you. Trust in God.

 

[Irishmom2]

I feel just human again. It’s a disgusting feeling to have.

But, like any of us, you are just human, and that is all you will ever be on earth.

What may help you is for you to step out of thinking about what you are missing, and really try to think of what you can do to let Jesus shine through you. Even if you are stuck at home, find ways for Jesus to shine through you to your family. Be cheerful. Be helpful. Do something that will lift someone up. Put everyone else before your own self. That Is what the real saints did.

 

[CroatCatholic]

I an 17 too. Dryness, as we call it, is normal to be experienced. My advice is to never give up, to hope, to believe, to love, to ask, to seek, to knock, to forgive. Trust in God, try to live your life in the fear of the Lord, in humility and holiness, and in the joy of the Lord.
I definitely feel with you, I have also experienced sadness, dryness and many ups and downs. And they definitely will happen again. We all have our journey, our battle, our tests.
So, remember, we are all on a journey towards the end goal, the Kingdom of God. Though we fail a hundred times, we shall get up a hundred and one times.
So, remember dear brother, with perseverance amd humilty, in the fear of the Lord, let us keep faith, hope and love always, while awaiting our Lord Jesus Christ.
Christ be with all of us, and may He have mercy upon us all!
Christ, have mercy.
Mary, Refuge of Sinners, pray for us!

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Yup, sounds pretty normal.

All relationships go through seasons of closeness and seasons of distance.

Be regular and diligent in your prayer and Bible reading and don’t worry.

God isn’t “mad” at you.

If you’re in a state of sin, God still isn’t “mad”, but He loves you and wants to free you from your tangles.
Act of Contrition, and when Confession is available again, take advantage of it.

Peace

 

[TheLittleLady]

Remember when you were a little kid, you had training wheels on your bike or your parent held on to the back of the bike so you did not fall? Or when you needed water wings/floaties to swim?

One day, you had to balance the bike on your own to go forward. One day, you had to get in the water and swim under your own power.

Well, when we grow in faith, the training wheels and water wings have to go away at some point.