I feel like I may commit suicide

[rcwitness]

I feel much better now. Although I don’t know any of you, you all made me feel so loved. I’m so glad that I chose to convert to Catholicism because I have all of you as my spiritual brothers and sisters

You truly have no idea how much this support meant to me. Please continue to pray for me.

Amen:extrahappy:

It means alot to us too!

 

[memamia]

Guys, I didn’t know where else to turn. I usually use this website solely as a viewer but I have so much turmoil that I decided to create an account. I’m a college student and I’m broke. Yeah, I know that many college students are broke but my family lives under the poverty line. I have been looking for a job ALL Summer but I couldn’t find a job because when managers would find out that I was a college student, they would tell me that they’re looking for someone who would work at their establishment for at least a year. Even McDonald’s said that they weren’t hiring (because the high school kids took the jobs). Every single day I applied for a job and I must have sent hundreds of copies of my resume out. I would’ve been fine with not getting a job had my mother, who is pure evil, not stolen my money that I had saved. Now I have no way of getting back to college, I can’t get new clothes (I have one pair of jeans), and I can’t afford my textbooks. On top of that, I was sexually abused and my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that was just awful (it was so awful that my cousin was thinking of calling the cops). I am so tired of praying. God wasn’t there to stop what happened to me and I feel so unclean. I am starting to become full of hate. I hate my mother for everything that she’s done to me in my life (she basically almost killed me when I was a child because of the abuse). I hate my family for always telling me to forgive her because she’s my mother and it’s okay that she abused me, stole my identity, and my money. I hate my family for being anti-Catholic. They’re all Protestant and they say anti-Catholic things when they know that Catholicism is my religion. I used to pray so much but this morning, I realized that praying just doesn’t work. I didn’t have so much hate until me today when my sadness became anger. It’s only so much that a teenager can take. I have no one. I have nothing.

 

[jmcrae]

Okay, thanks. I may call them. I just feel like my situation is hopeless right now.

I really appreciate your response.

Go to the Blessed Sacrament, and tell Jesus all your troubles. You can go in your jeans; it’s okay. He loves you so much! He looks forward to seeing you in Church. He counts all the hairs on your head, and He knows how sad you are feeling right now. He wants to comfort you! He wants to give you strength for the battles that you must fight. He wants to fight with you, by your side. Come to HIm, and let Him speak to your heart.

 

[memamia]

Dear One,
May I suggest you call upon St. Michael to protect you and help you? Ask that he shield you and bring with him the full power of all the legions of angels and saints to lift you from despair. In Christ is your answer…follow Him.
You seem to have been carrying scars from abuse for many a year now…and well you might. It also seems, at some younger time your mother did not stand by you after disclosing or finding out you were sexually abused. (Not unusual)…But you need to know that none of it is your fault. None of it. It does not make you less than anyone/anything else.
If I may suggest:
Put your mother in God’s Hands
Put your abuser in God’s Hands
Put your boyfriend in God’s Hands
Put your college in God’s Hands
All of it/them! Let God be the judge of them.

  Put yourself in God's Hands except for 1%.  That 1% belongs to you.  Let them all go into what their life's journey is all about.  Your journey has nothing to do with them at all.  It has to do with, you, putting one foot in front of the other....one day at a time.
  You may consider getting in touch with the financial aid at your college to find what they may have to help you with finishing what you have started.....one just never knows....try.
  Your anger toward your abusers is understandable, but not helpful to you.  It makes you want to take your life because of their behavior toward you.  For your own sake, once you put them in God's Hands, forgive them.  Put your energy into your own forward steps.......call for help, see your local priest (who could put you in touch with St. Vincent De Paul's help ( for another pair of pants at the very least).  Ask in your local parish office if they get calls from people who need help in small tasks they can no longer do for themselves.....it earns "something"....keep moving....
May I again suggest that each morning, when you wake, you roll out of bed onto your knees and tell God......"Today I turn my life and my will over to you"....then start putting one foot in front of the other......look for very small things to happen...appreciating the morning, the sun, the rain, the clouds, whatever you find....be aware of it's job to appreciate.  Like yourself, we all have some mission to do.  Time will bring you to where you are to go if you follow Christ...one step at a time.
Bless you, one of the walking wounded; we are those who have the opportunity of finding Christ everywhere once our eyes see past our wounds.  
Your life to far too valuable to let anger, hate, fear, despair, the evil one take over............ St. Michael will protect you, if you ask, and the love of Christ  will fill your self esteem.  He esteems you for he made you!

May you feel full with the love of Christ and all of us, here, to know your value to us all. I send you a very big hug!!

 

[lucylove1]

Wow! Jesus loves you so much! Just look at all the beautiful things He has been telling you! I cried a little when I read them. Keep looking forward. I know how loneliness feels like. I know how hopelessness feels like. It’s horrible. But it always gets better. Because if Jesus is with us, who is against us? No one. He is almighty, He is king of kings. Keep holding on to His hand because we are nothing without Him. I know He is taking care of you, we can never see how He is working with us. But at the end, everything is worth it. Every worry, every tear is taken away by His mercy. Keep your eyes on Him and don’t ever let go, you, my little sister in Christ. :hug1: